The Ultimate Superheroines Forum

Centurion

I appreciate the comments. And now... Chapter 2 -- A few days later, as Jennifer Traylor was leaving an afternoon class at American University, her phone trilled. She waved her friends Sharon and Liz on ahead as she stopped to answer it. "Hi, Angel," her boyfriend's voice said. "Looks...

Centurion

I can only echo what Tallyho just said. We men have the disadvantage that we can only imagine how a female character might feel. If you actually acted in the video, you have a unique perspective that we don't!

Centurion

This is a crude sketch of what the heroine and main villain look like.

Centurion

[If you thought having her picture printed in a sleazy tabloid was bad, that's nothing compared to what happens to the Fox in this one. Expect superheroine perils, deathtraps, partial nudity and mild to moderate sexual content.] Chapter 1 -- Washington, D.C. "Alley Cat Strikes Again!" the ...

Centurion

This doesn't read so much as a story as just a synopsis of a story. I mean, it probably makes a great video, but just reading it is kind of dull. We need details.

Centurion

Thanks Centurion! The idea was that Evan was always being isolated and never fitted in with society so didn't speak much, whereas Merlin had, so his words and speech are more in tune with current society. Yeah, but if he had marched with Wellington and Grant and served as Newton's houseboy, he woul...

Centurion

It's always good to see the Silver Osprey again! Great storyQ

Centurion

You would think if he was 1500 years old, his speech patterns would have changed with the times. But no biggie. Very original storyline!

Centurion

Whew! I knew you were a big Supergirl fan, which is one reason I decided to use her in the first place (but I went with the hot pants costume rather than the skirt because that's more like what the Fox wears). I'm glad I didn't mess her up too badly!

Centurion

You've got to remember when you edit an already existing post, the browser doesn't mark it as a "new unread post" and it doesn't move it up the queue. So we have no way of knowing you updated it.

Centurion

There's no reason to delete the story. We LIKED it! We all SAID we liked it! I'm not complaining about the revision, I just wanted you to keep the original here so we could compare the two.

Centurion

Chloromaiden, it doesn't make sense for us to make public comments if you're going to edit the original. It means that our comments are no longer valid. If you wanted to revise, you should have left the original so that we could compare the two. Check your Private Messages for more.

Centurion

Chapter 13 -- "I just got off the phone with a General O'Neill," said Supergirl, leaning against the doorway of Remis' office. "He's on his way from Area 51 to take charge. You'll probably get a medal for this, Fox." The Fuchsia Fox shook her head dismissively. "Any idea wha...

Centurion

chapter 12 -- The Fuchsia Fox felt her heart thumping inside her lovely chest. She was improvising, but if this plan didn't work, it was at least a really inventive way to commit suicide. "Personally I wouldn't even let Toadboy kiss my heinie," she said coquettishly. "I suppose being ...

Centurion

(I wish I could put you out of your misery, but this is liable to just twist it up a notch! :) ) Chapter 11 -- "Supergirl, don't!" the Fuchsia Fox cried. Caught by surprise, she didn't even have the chance to resist. But even if she had, it wouldn't have made a lot of difference. At full s...

Centurion

Chapter 10 -- In his human form, Remis walked into the laboratory, where Supergirl was strapped to a table under the rays of the red sun projector. Her exquisite, spandex-clad body lay limp and unresisting, her head lolled against her shoulder from exhaustion. "Report, Janik!" he commanded...

Centurion

tallyho wrote:Good fun and nicely done but I'm not convinced she would blend in wearing her silk gloves in the desert!

Good point. That's why she was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, so the gloves wouldn't show so much. Expect the next installment Friday.

Centurion

Chapter 9 -- Alamo, Nevada The Fuchsia Fox was in a roadside diner, talking on a payphone because there was no cell coverage. In the middle of the afternoon, there was nobody but the cook and the waitress, who had nothing better to do than watch her curiously from the counter. The beautiful 23 year ...

Centurion

Part II: "Revealed!" ===================== Chapter 8 -- Area 51, Grooms Lake, Nevada The sergeant in the security watchtower turned urgently to the officer of the day. "Captain, radar is picking up something entering our airspace. Something small, moving at incredible speed." He ...

Centurion

(Yes, I thought it would an interesting variation having a heroine and villain forced to work together. Wait until you see Part II.) Chapter 7 -- The bracelets activated, sending a soundless explosion of light welling out to sheathe Jennifer in its luminous cocoon, touching every secret part of her ...

Centurion

This is pretty good. I'm looking forward to the rest. I have two thoughts, though... You seem to be trying to tell two stories at once, a flashback about a case she's writing up, and at the same time an ambush by the cleaning lady. I'm thinking it would be better to concentrate on just one. Second, ...

Centurion

Chapter 6 -- "Congratulations," said Kaver. "I didn't think it was possible to escape the Sidius Ooze, let alone kill it." The Fuchsia Fox tried to move and found that her wrists were chained together above her head. "My pleasure," she said sulkily. She looked along the...

Centurion

Chapter 5 -- Kaver's car pulled up at a remote warehouse located somewhere near Rockville. Jennifer's sense of direction had been somewhat confused by the unnecessary turns and backtracks he had made. There were no visible guards. In fact it seemed quite an ordinary building, except that the entranc...

Centurion

(It's just getting started!) Chapter 4 -- Monday morning, Jennifer Traylor was at her desk at Science Today magazine dressed in a conservative blouse and knee length gray skirt, trying to do research on Naval bases in the Washington D.C. area. One of the other girls named Aleysha Skinner came over a...

Centurion

Chapter 3 -- The Fox parried the blow in the nick of time, darting back a pace as she spun around and side-kicked, driving her right foot into his torso. "Spare me the chauvinistic crap, sport," she smirked, as the villain landed amid the trees twenty feet away, on the opposite side of the...

Centurion

[I'll do my best not to disappoint you!] Chapter 2 -- Less than three miles away, a white five-ton truck was driving along an otherwise deserted county-maintained highway, flanked by forest on either side. As the truck rounded a bend, it pulled up because blocking the road was a man dressed like a R...

Centurion

[I don't usually do long stories, but this is a two-parter, two normal length stories back to back, 13 chapters total. In Part I, the Fox goes up against the Centurion, ending up trapped in a pit full of green ooze. In Part II, she goes toe to toe with a famous Direct Comics heroine. Expect superher...

Centurion

A lot of us have asked these questions, but the members of this forum are notoriously shy about giving you feedback. On the other hand, if you concentrate too much on what gets the most responses, you end up writing essentially the same story over and over gain! All I can say is write the stories yo...

Centurion

Speaking of photomanips, well sort of... has anyone seen the Kia Optima commercials where the guy is dreaming he's driving the car on a racecourse, and Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima is waving the checkered flag? I mention it because she's an amazingly good idea what the Fuchsia Fox looks like...

Centurion

Wonderful story! Who would have thought Batgirl watched James Bond movies?

Centurion

Chapter four Vanessa's pretty face cringed with horror as the hot liquid chocolate slowly poured from the nozzle into the cup around her feet, oozing in between her toes like sticky, glutinous mud. The sexy secret agent struggled desperately, but the paper ropes held her bound so tightly, she could ...

Centurion

Chapter three That night, Vanessa changed into her black latex catsuit to break into O'Brien's hotel room. The costume hugged her shapely feminine curves like a second skin, molding itself to every single hill and valley of her delicious body. She examined herself front and back in the mirror, and l...

Centurion

tallyho wrote: Hopefully this is one

Got it here http://www.celebrity-images.hilarysheph ... ge_id=1577

Yep, that's the one. I can't access the catsuit though. :(

Centurion

Thank you, all. I'm probably not going to be able to get online again until next week, so wonder if someone could do me a huge favor... locate and post a couple of pictures of Elizabeth Hurley, wearing (a) the little silver ("quasi-futuristic") minidress and (b) the tight black catsuit. Th...

Centurion

Who says that? lol When I wrote a story, unless its part on an ongoing series, I always just restart it as if it never happened. "Out of continuity", basically. Thats part of the fun of writing stories or roleplaying, you can make whatever you want to happen happen! So if people want anot...

Centurion

[Somebody mentioned secret agents a while back, and I started working on this. It's a little more tongue-in-cheek than my usual stuff, but...] Chapter 1 -- Monte Carlo... Vanessa Kensington walked gracefully across the busy casino. She was a tall, slim woman, with a fashion model's figure and long, ...

Centurion

I agree, that was GOOD! Excellent fight, excellent capture scene!

Centurion

My personal feeling, having seen Batgirl take on whole gangs of men in the comic books, that three women without special powers wouldn't be able to beat her up. And I don't like that kind of brutality anyway. I would have prefered a clever trap that catches her and puts her at a disadvantage. But......

Centurion

Uh huh! So... I guess no more stories about Supergirl, eh? :(

Centurion

Your use of detail is getting a lot better, but I was disappointed you didn't continue with theoriginal story.

Centurion

YOW!!!!

Centurion

That's a fascinating analysis! I remember Tanya Roberts of course, but personally the movie didn't otherwise impress me much, because there was too little of what I would call "peril". If as you say having her fight would have been "unladylike", obviously having the female lead c...

Centurion

A very interesting idea... but you need to work on detail. Sheena arriving, beating up a bunch of henchmen, and then being captured, all in just two paragraphs? Her struggle with the mind sapping ray should have gone on longer, with a wealth of detail.

Centurion

Hear, hear! Nothing ruins a vid more than a costume that makes the "heroine" look like a hooker with a mask. Except a heroine that gets captured so easily you conclude... oh yeah, she really is just a hooker in a mask!

Centurion

Chapter 7 -- How do you say goodbye to your life? Jennifer could feel the train steadily picking up speed, lurching a little as it rounded the curves in the track. She was grateful that she couldn't see the track ahead, or see the speedometer on the control panel. She took one last look at the gener...

Centurion

Hallie Jordan held captive and helpless in some nameless evil lair. How will she escape? Green Lantern perfect captured.JPG Of course the solution is obvious. Her costume isn't yellow! All she has to do is fill her costume with green energy, puffing it out like a balloon until it breaks the chain. ...

Centurion

Chapter 6 -- The Fuchsia Fox struggled to break free of Tech Man's manacles, but the trap had caught her with her feet less than three inches apart, and it was impossible to get any leverage. She sat down on the floor to see what she could do, but unfortunately the villain was right -- the synthetic...

Centurion

Chapter 5 -- Grayson was surprised at how far the tunnel went. They had walked past empty storage rooms and barracks rooms, with row upon row of rusting bed frames. Finally they gone through a four way intersection, and just past that the tunnel ended with another security door, which Grayson's magn...

Centurion

Chapter 4 -- Nobody could be quite sure what happened next. Spike had been staring at the Fuchsia Fox's breasts, nearly salivating in anticipation of seeing her luscious pair of B-cups au naturel . The next thing he knew, the hand he was using to hold the stun wand was grabbed and wrenched upwards s...

Centurion

Chapter 3 -- Martin sized up the situation. Even if he got hold of a gun, a firefight would mean someone would surely get hit by stray bullets. He was going to have to use the gang's sadism against them and do his best to keep this strictly a fistfight. Suddenly he pivoted on his left foot and struc...

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