The Ultimate Superheroines Forum

Centurion

Your wish is my command... Chapter 7 -- "This is Cher Hernandez, Channel 23 News live," said the perky female reporter. "It's a scene of devastation here on the Vegas Strip. If you've been watching you saw earlier how a group of three courageous superheroines -- we still do not have t...

Centurion

Maybe I've gone senile but I didn't recognize my own idea! Which part was that? I quote you: "Love the idea of an attack during the nuptials, as long as the marriage is legit by the end. Maybe under some makeshift shelter in the rubble with the minister saying "You may kiss the bride but ...

Centurion

chapter 5 -- The Fuchsia Fox carried the other two heroines, each holding onto one of her lithe, slender arms, across the cityscape to Las Vegas Boulevard. Across from Caesar's Palace, directly in the path of the gigantic iron juggernaut, a city bus loaded with evacuees had run up on a massive chunk...

Centurion

Nice chapter! Good action with fun moments of enticing thrills. I look forward to how this develops. :yes: And I hope you recognized the idea you gave me! I had originally intended to space out these installments a little, since they're so long. So I was going to save installment 3 (chapters 5 and ...

Centurion

This video was so cool and so beautifully done, I hate to point out the obvious blunder that if Supergirl were punching these guys as hard as she appears to be, there would be nothing but pulp left of them!

Nice anyway!

Centurion

Chapter 3 -- The wedding chapel was half a mile back from the main street. The garden was so perfectly landscaped and hedged in that you almost didn't notice the two hotels towering overhead on either side. On the lawn, rows of mostly empty benches made a broad aisle at the end of which, in front of...

Centurion

Great start Mr C, though I did think Sg and WW got taken a little easily , maybe having them fighting their way through more of the androids would have worked better for me, before the take down. As ever some lovely phraseology esposed :thumbup: Nice stuff! :) You're absolutely right. That chapter ...

Centurion

Hello Centurion: As always the mechanics of your story is well done. I mean some people write such poor dialogue it's hard to read that is never a problem with you :) Thank you very much. I appreciate it. I admit based on 2 chapters, I am confused as to where your story is going. There is no real d...

Centurion

Fuchsia Fox: "'Til Death Do Us Part" [SPECIAL DOUBLE-SIZED ISSUE! This story is nine chapters long (instead of the usual six or seven), each chapter roughly half again as long as normal, bringing the word count to about twice that of a typical story of mine. The reason is because it's a Te...

Centurion

Good stuff! It's great to have you back!

Centurion

I liked it too, Silver. Maybe you didn't need quite so much background material at the beginning, but I agree that the description helps us to visualize the scene better. Another thing you need to watch is how you started off in the third person ("she" did this and did that) and suddenly i...

Centurion

That would be my inclination too. It's just that when I was collaborating with Lady Jane on our team-up, she said that I should get rid of Martin. I think she believed that with him out of the way I'd be more inclined to write more X-rated stories. But since I haven't even had so much as an e-mail f...

Centurion

I'm glad you both liked it; I certainly enjoyed writing it. More adventures of Ishtar? What a wonderful idea! I'll have to give that some thought. Of course now this brings up an issue I've been avoiding for far too long anyway... namely what to do about Jennifer and Martin. I put it off temporarily...

Centurion

I agree with what Imagineer said above. A certain amount of eroticism is pretty much inherent in a superheroine story, but that doesn't necessarily make it sexist. It's not sexist to admire the beauty of a woman's body, especially when it's clad in clingy spandex. It's not sexist to tell your girlfr...

Centurion

I appreciate the comments. Good points, Flirty. I hope this final chapter sort of wraps them up... Chapter 7 -- Skewo slapped the Fuchsia Fox with the back of his hand, making her drop face-down in the dirt. "I did not want to hurt you, little bitch," he said slowly. "But you must lea...

Centurion

Thanks, Flirty! I appreciate the feedback!... Chapter 5 -- The entire tribe was gathered together in the sacred "Food Court". The tribe held it sacred because it was a wide open space big enough for them all, located near the junction of several major corridors. There was a rectangular hol...

Centurion

Chapter 3 -- The doorway opened. Ishtar, once again clad in her skin-tight, sapphire blue body suit, ankle boots, bracelets, and tiara, stepped through without hesitation. The Fuchsia Fox, nervously tugging her gloves into place, followed. They were standing inside a perfectly round tunnel approxima...

Centurion

This is a crude drawing, but it gives you an idea what the Fox's and Ishtar's costumes look like (when they're wearing them). Ishtar's is based on a costume worn by Cheryl Buchanan in the 1989 science fiction cheapie "Escape from Galaxy 3". If you Google it you can probably find photograph...

Centurion

[I was looking back over old stories and I realized that at the end of "Temptation Eyes", I had left a certain issue between Jennifer and Martin unresolved. At the time I had meant to return to it, plus explain how they got him back to Afghanistan in time to keep him from being charged wit...

Centurion

This is nice, and different. I especially like the pictures. I wish that I could do things like that.

Centurion

This is undoubtedly well-written, but I feel like I've missed something. Who is "the blond"? What does she even look like? How did she get captured? Why is she powerless? I'm afraid I lost interest in the first two chapters. You cannot assume that we've all read stories in the Dungeon sect...

Centurion

Very pretty. I don't see the point of the darts (or whatever they are) hanging from her right hip, though. If they're weapons, they should be in the utility belt, shouldn't they?

Centurion

Pretty much. I have comics where her only stated reason for changing into costume is, "It wouldn't do for Diana Prince to be seen rescuing people." Actually it helps to imagine Wonder Woman as roughly equivalent to THOR (without the weather control powers and the machismo). I mean she can ...

Centurion

Super job, O-W! I thought I had read most of the stories by my favorite writers, but it looks like a missed a few! I'm going to be busy for awhile. I want to add that I had the pleasure of co-writing two of LadyJane's stories with her ("The Price of Doom" and "A Bloody Good Night"...

Centurion

Chapter 6 -- Pain. As she regained consciousness, the Fuchsia Fox felt it flooding back into her right arm where she had been hit by the laser, making her groan out loud. "Welcome back, buttercup," said Sidewinder cheerfully. The beautiful young superheroine was pinned upright against one ...

Centurion

Thank you all for the kind words. I try to read my dialogue aloud several times to see if it sounds real. My pacing is more or less by instinct, and it's nice to hear that it works. I've long wanted to throw in a consensual love scene, just to remind us that while superheroines may be good girls, th...

Centurion

I much appreciate the kind words from all. Now on with the next installment... *** Chapter 3 -- "I told you, my name is the Fuchsia Fox." The guards had escorted the stunning superheroine through the crowd of onlookers to the TSA offices. In passing, Jennifer had received a reassuring nod ...

Centurion

I was glad to see the Justice League clip about "the fastest man alive"! In another of those stories, "The Savage Time", they're on a subway train that suddenly takes off, sending GL, WW, Flash and Hawkgirl tumbling and landing together in a heap. Hawkgirl says (rather tartly), &...

Centurion

[Parts of this may seem familiar (mainly chapter 2), because to be perfectly honest, I got the idea from Supbond's "Wonder Woman versus The Mercenary". That was a good story, but it left me wondering "What happens next?" I tried to make my Sidewinder character different enough, b...

Centurion

Well the original version was a little less coherent. There wasn't a good reason for Aquagirl and the Fox to fight. In my rewrite I added the tracking collar with the energy discharging studs... not a perfect solution but at least better.

Centurion

Chapter 7 -- "What have you done with Eric?" Aquagirl babbled, darting her left leg around in a sweeping side kick. The Fuchsia Fox dodged, flipped around and jumped the other girl from behind, clasping her arms around the mermaid's lissome, practically bare torso, struggling to immobilize...

Centurion

Chapter 5 -- "unnnnn..." The Fuchsia Fox groaned as she slowly regained consciousness, her brain feeling slow and dull from the aftereffects of the sleep gas. A few feet away, she could see the mannequin that had been used to lure her into the ambush, lying on its side. Yeah... Dimly Jenni...

Centurion

I have to say at first this story didn't appeal to me much because honestly I didn't like the Lynda Carter television series, but I'm starting to enjoy it! I'm trying to picture in my head how they can make love with their wrists tied! If only they had been tied back to back with the same rope! Hmm?...

Centurion

I just want to chime in long enough to say that personally "corruption" stories leave me cold, and I don't see how having the hero break the law makes him or her more interesting. I've managed to write 21 Fuchsia Fox stories without doing anything of the kind (although there was that one w...

Centurion

Chapter 3 -- "Hey what, another one?" blurted Charlie, reaching for his gun. Adrian pulled away from the Fuchsia Fox as they both turned to face the newcomer. Charlie pointed his automatic pistol directly at the redhead, thinking that would intimidate her, but she twisted to one side and l...

Centurion

tallyho wrote:Well I don't see anything wrong with it so far. Nice knockout, classic SH take down, well told.

When I say it's "not very good", I mean I couldn't come up with a new and original peril to put her in. The only thing original about it is the girl the Fox teams up with. For that, read on...

Centurion

[I wrote this story some time ago but didn't post it because I wasn't happy with the way it turned out. Recently I pulled it out and tried again. To be honest, it's still not very good, but it has its points that might suggest ideas to other people. It's a kind of "retro" story because it ...

Centurion

Wow! This is great! The back and forth battles, the heroines thinking their way out of trouble. The interlude with Nyx was confusing, but I'm sure it will tie in sometime later.

Centurion

Well Hurley still looks PDF in a Catsuit over a decade after Austin Powers. She's in a new commercial tonight on UK tv. http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/08/18/article-2396717-1B5B48B2000005DC-844_634x606.jpg http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/08/18/article-2396717-1B5B4989000005DC-663_634x636.j...

Centurion

One more thing about established characters: if you use Wonder Woman, Supergirl, or Batgirl, PLEASE at least TRY to have them act like the originals! It bugs me to read a story about Wonder Woman where the writer obviously has no earthly idea even what her powers are! This is further complicated by ...

Centurion

Well Centurion, and this is ONLY an opinion, I have noticed almost ALL writers develop a "style" You can tell that is what the writer likes, and within a few pages you can say "Oh thats (Whomever) When you DO try something you do not normally do I found you really rock the socks of y...

Centurion

My only disagreement, and it's not "universal" is about changing your style... I agree don't changer yer style for anyone, however, if the plot you chose calls for "more violence" or "more sex" you need to accommodate. I once got to speak with Sci Fi great Andre Norton...

Centurion

So whilst its always good to be told you are wonderful that's not necessarily why I post ( I already know I'm wonderful! ;) ) and I don't think I'm alone. I would say that we write for ourselves but post for others AND ourselves, if that makes sense. I would say a better distinction to the one you ...

Centurion

I appreciate the comments. Still waiting to hear from Swlover. After all, he was the one who started all this!

Centurion

Chapter 4 -- Barbara Gordon stirred in her sleep. She had been having a disjointed dream about living in a doll house along with a Barbie doll dressed in a Wonder Woman costume. These silk sheets were nice, though. She stretched her lissome body sensuously, finding herself in close, intimate contact...

Centurion

I like science fiction mainly for the ideas (I have been guilty of perpetrating some Star Trek fan fiction), not the costumes. But I can't deny that especially in the 60s, 70s and 80s, sci-fi movies dressed their female leads in some pretty superheroine-esque costumes. One of my favorites is an Ital...

Centurion

"Lord Ffogg Thinks Small; Batgirl Bares All" (Guest-starring Wonder Woman. I thought I'd take the lead from the "Batman" television series and just post this in two parts.) Chapter 1 -- Somewhere in England, an unmarked gray van wound its way late at night along a remote mountain...

Centurion

You're too kind, my friend.

Centurion

Chapter 5 -- Vanessa opened her eyes and sighed. Well here was a familiar situation! She was in some kind of dungeon. Her slender wrists and ankles were bound with thick leather straps which were holding her horizontal and spread-eagled across a hard metal slab. She was wearing exactly what she had ...

Centurion

chapter 3 -- Fortunately Vanessa's suitcase had been thrown clear. Taking off the remains of her clothing, she got dressed in her sexy black spandex cat suit that zipped up the front. Pulling on wedge-heeled boots, the beautiful spy buckled her weapons belt around her wide hips. With her Heckler and...

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