A toast, ladies and gentlemen.
For one year ago, to the day, an unassuming set of threads titled "#1" and "#2", created by some fellow named "benv", appeared on The Ultimate Superheroine Forum's Stories Board. Like many of you, I suspect, I viewed them skeptically - The Ultimate Superheroine Forum had not produced a story that truly struck my fancy in years, and the simplicity of the titles did not exactly invite confidence.
Then I clicked on "#1". And I was hooked about five words in.
benv's stories hit almost every fetish I had, plus a few that I didn't even know I possessed. The KO scenes. The hypno-video. The merciless humiliation. The incredibly creative costume changes. And, of course, the sex. By the time I was through with the very first story, I realized that he had done the impossible: make me comment on a story when I had spent years as a Lurker on this board.
What was more, his update schedule was nearly unheard of in the fanfiction world. At a rate of almost one update per day, "#3", "#4", "#5", "#6", and "#7" soon joined the other tales on the Stories Board. Each was more enticing, more arousing than the last. Chloroform pies, joy buzzers, feather torture - need I go on?
But all good things had to come to an end, and for a while, benv seemed ready to give up the ghost. But I appealed to him, beseeching him to continue, offering to edit & expand his stories into bigger, better, even more perverted yarns. To my delight - and, I suspect, to many of yours - he agreed.
A few weeks later, the redone versions of #1-#7 hit the new Heroine Dungeon board, now under a single story thread. Its fanbase grew bigger than ever, and at several points, it became the hottest story on the board. What was more, benv was actually inspired to write more - four more installments in total, an even greater lengths than the ones that came before. They joined the original Magnificent Seven, and for a while, our story's future seemed brighter than ever.
But again, real life intervened. benv's personal life took a turn for the worse, and he found himself no longer able to work on the story. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of readers were struck by this development - one of them, the esteemed Seaven, actually agreed to help me continue benv's dream. You see the final product right above you - and love it or hate it, it seems that as of now, Seaven won't be producing anything new, either.
(Thanks for nothing, Hurricane Sandy.)
But, let us not end on such a sour note. As a wise man once said: death only comes when one is forgotten. With that criterion in mind, I do believe that this story will be alive for a long, long time. Hell, it might even rise again one day - after all, as of late I've been making plans with a charming Brit who's just as big a fan of Harley and hypnotized heroines (you might know him as the fellow who wrote most of Harley's Heroine Heist on Superstories). Who knows what the future will bring?
And, of course, if any of you would like to help continue this story, you're more than free to! You needn't be able to write a full story - just scribble up a few scenes, and I'll figure out a way to tie 'em together. The more, the merrier!
Last, but not least... another reward for those of you who managed to slog through the above text. The following is the fruit of the last contact I ever had with benv - when he recommended me to SlapstickStuff.com to write a super heroine script. I do proudly declare that it's the only super heroine work that I 100% wrote by myself - though, of course, with massive inspiration from benv.
(Note, though, that it's kind of tame; SlapstickStuff is a PG-rated site.)
BATS IN THE BELFRY!
BG = Bat Girl
HQ = Harley Quinn
SG = Super Girl
Begin with our heroine BG sneaking into a room. She looks around carefully and begins tiptoeing across the room, trying to be stealthy but actually looking totally ridiculous.
BG: This is the Joker’s last known address… but it doesn’t look like anyone’s been home lately…
BG continues looking around, until she spots a computer in a corner of the room. A smile comes over her face as her eyes narrow.
BG: Hmm… wonder what I’ll find in there… maybe his whereabouts… or what he’s up to right now…
The heroine makes her way over to the computer, and is soon busily tapping away at the keyboard. As she searches for any helpful files, she is totally oblivious to everything else – including the fact that HQ has just snuck into the room, and is standing behind her!
BG: Crap… junk… crappy junk…
HQ slowly creeps up on BG from behind, even taking the time to pause and make a “shh” gesture at the audience. In her hand is a large cream pie.
BG (with HQ mere inches away from her): Hold on a minute… what have we here…?
HQ: Looks like a nosy super-snoop, to me!
BG turns around in utter surprise. Before she can do anything, HQ smashes the pie into the heroine’s face. The villainess laughs as BG stumbles around, in shock and blinded by the white goo now covering her face and a good portion of her uniform.
BG: Wha… wh…
Desperately, the heroine tries to wipe the pie material off of her face. Her movements, however, are becoming slower and slower with every passing second. Soon, she is stumbling around drunkenly, eyes fluttering.
HQ: Aw, what’s the matter, Batsy? Don’t you like my special chloro-pies?
HQ: Don’t worry! A couple more seconds and you’ll be out like a light! Then the real fun can begin!
BG: Muh-must not… f-fall… a-a-sleeeeeeep…
A few seconds later, the heroine totters backward and falls on her back, her eyes closing. HQ stands triumphant over her KO’ed foe, laughing evilly.
HQ: Hush, little Batsy, don’t say a word… Harley’s gonna buy you a mockingbird…
HQ is seen tying a blissfully-sleeping BG to an easy chair with several loops of rope, making sure that the knots are nice and tight (BG’s uniform is still plainly visible under the coils of rope, however). That done, the villainess stands up, and gives the heroine a critical once-over.
HQ: Geez, who does she think she is?! Goldilocks? Her hair ain’t even gold!
HQ walks off, and returns with a bucket of cold water. Grinning, she tosses the bucket’s contents all over BG, who shudders and awakens with a huge gasp.
BG: Wha… where am I?!
The heroine unconsciously moves her body as she speaks, and realizes her current predicament. She then notices a smug-looking HQ standing right in front of her.
BG: Quinn! Let me out of her right now, or I’ll-
She is cut off, as HQ suddenly stuffs a ball-gag into her open mouth and straps it in tight.
HQ: That oughta take care ‘a that big mouth ‘a yours!
BG glares murderously at HQ as she struggles with the ball-gag in her mouth. HQ, looking even more pleased with herself now, turns her back on BG and taps a finger to her chin in thought.
HQ: Now, what shall I do with this little bat in my belfry… super-villain code demands that I put her in an elaborate-yet-escapable deathtrap… but that’s so BORING!
BG begins to struggle in her bonds, making more noises of protest through the gag.
HQ: No… how ‘bout I just UNMASK her?
BG freezes in horror, eyes widening.
HQ: After all, she’s got such a PRETTY face… shame to hide it behind that silly mask…
BG begins to struggle for all she’s worth, squirming in her bonds desperately, as HQ turns around.
BG: MMMMMPPPHH!!! MMMMMMMMMPPPPHHHH!!!
HQ slowly approaches BG, arms outstretched predatorily. As her hand grabs BG’s mask, BG makes one last noise of protest and tenses, her eyes squeezing shut.
HQ: But that’s just as boring!
HQ quickly draws her hands away from BG. Several seconds later, BG slowly opens her eyes, as she realizes that she’s been spared from unmasking – for the time being.
HQ: Hah! You should’ve seen yourself, Bats!
BG tries to keep her facial appearance neutral, even as her body slowly relaxes. She knows that she’s not out of the woods yet.
HQ: Don’t worry, I’m not gonna unmask ya… I’m just gonna make you wish I had! Be right back!
HQ runs off, leaving the bound and protesting BG alone in the room.
HQ is seen wheeling a television & VCR on an AV cart directly in front of BG. BG is still futilely struggling in her bonds, shouting muffled protests.
HQ: Up for a little daytime TV, Batsy?
Grinning, HQ takes out a video tape, which she slides into the VCR. She turns on the TV and presses the “Play” button.
HQ: Trust me, you’ll just LOVE this show!
The television screen soon starts displaying a large, colorful, rotating spiral. At the same time, a booming voice begins to drone “OBEY” over and over.
The heroine realizes immediately what HQ is up to, and tries to shut her eyes. In response, HQ (making sure that her own eyes are shut) moves behind BG and grabs the side of BG’s mask.
HQ: Watch the video like a GOOD WIDDLE GIRL, or THIS comes off!
BG’s eyes snap open in panic; the heroine knows that she can’t let HQ unmask her, no matter what. Unfortunately, this window of opportunity is all that the video needs to gain a foothold in BG’s mind.
HQ: That’s it, Batsy… obey… obey… obey…
BG struggles uselessly some more, but her eyes are already beginning to flutter and glaze over. As the seconds tick by, the heroine’s movements become more and more sluggish.
HQ: The spiral is your friend… it wants you to obey… obey… obey…
The hypnotizing video begins to increase in intensity; the spiral seems to enlarge, turning a variety of different colors. Meanwhile, the commands of “OBEY” seem to be growing louder, and start to echo.
HQ: Listen to the nice spiral… obey… obey… obey…
By now, BG’s struggles have almost totally died down. The heroine’s screams of protests are gone, replaced by a muffled, monotone sound.
HQ: What’s that, Batsy? You have something you wanna say?
HQ reaches over, and un-attaches the ball-gag stuffed in BG’s mouth. The ball-gag drops to the floor, but BG makes no attempt to shout more protests. Instead, she continues to drone.
BG: Obey… obey… obey…
HQ smiles in glee, as she realizes that the video is – apparently – a success. But, she realizes, BG could also be faking. There’s only one way to find out…
HQ: Mind if I get this out of the way, Bats?
HQ slides her fingers beneath BG’s mask, and begins to hike it up. BG gives no reaction, simply continuing to chant “OBEY”, much to HQ’s pleasure.
HQ: Excellent… now the fun can REALLY begin…
The television is now turned off, and HQ is seen untying BG from the chair. BG makes no attempt to fight or escape – another boost to HQ’s confidence in the hypno-video.
HQ: From now on, you will refer to me as “Mistress” or “Mistress Harley”, understood, Batgirl?
BG: I obey, Mistress.
HQ: And you won’t obey anyone else, unless I tell you to. Got it? I am your first priority, at all times!
BG: Understood, Mistress.
HQ: Good! Now, stand at attention!
BG immediately assumes the stance, her body becoming rigid and her feet locking together. The heroine’s chin juts out, as her eyes stare blankly forward.
HQ: Mmm… not bad… but it could use a little… adjustment…
HQ carefully repositions BG, with a mix of verbal commands and physical movements. Soon, BG is standing in a stereotypical “heroine” pose, with feet apart and chest more thrust out.
HQ: Perfect! Don’t move a muscle, I’ll be right back!
BG: Yes, mistress.
HQ leaves the room, and returns with a cart full of pies. Taking careful aim, she flings the first at BG’s chest – and lands a perfect hit on BG’s chest symbol.
HQ: Bull’s-eye! Now, clean yourself off!
BG: Yes, mistress.
BG begins to use her hands to wipe the pie material off of her uniform. Before she’s even halfway done, however, HQ flings another pie, this one hitting her square in the face.
HQ: Geez, are you deaf?! I said clean yourself off!
BG: Yes, mistress!
The cycle continues; BG keeps trying to follow her mistress’ orders, but HQ is flinging pies at her faster than she can wipe them off. Soon, the heroine is covered almost head-to-toe in pie material.
HQ: Alright, Bats, clearly, you’re too dumb to follow a simple command, so here’s a simpler one: stop!
BG immediately stops trying to wipe herself clean, letting her hands fall to her sides. As BG stands motionless once more, HQ orders her to resume “heroine position”, before taking out a camera.
BG, in “heroine position” and almost totally covered in pie goo, gives a big cheesy smile as HQ takes several pictures of her disgraceful appearance. After a while, HQ goes over and drapes BG’s cape over the heroine’s head, before taking several more pictures.
HQ: Perfect! Now, let’s get you hosed off…
BG, who is now wearing a collar around her neck, is led outside by HQ, who is holding a leash connected to the collar. HQ leads the collared BG over to a wrought iron gate, and ties the leash to one of the bars. A nearby camera on a tripod is recording everything.
HQ: Good! Now stay!
HQ runs off-screen, only to return moments later with a hose in hand. Grinning evilly, she aims the hose at BG and turns it on full-blast. She slowly walks around the helpless BG, making sure to spray down every inch of the heroine’s body.
HQ: Alright, that should do it…
HQ walks away and turns off the hose. Soon, she returns to the captive BG, and looks the heroine’s dripping body up and down, licking her lips.
HQ: Hey, Bats… you know the best way ta dry off?
BG shakes her head; HQ goes over and unties BG’s leash from the gate.
HQ: Dance for me, my pretty!
BG immediately begins dancing like a total moron, shaking and gyrating her entire body. HQ watches in amusement, soon breaking into uncontrollable laughter – it’s clear that BG can’t dance to save her life, and that’s just fine with her.
HQ: Oh, this is too rich! Just keep at it, Bats! I’ll be right back…
HQ soon returns with a boom box, which she sets down. She presses a button, and it begins to play Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” (or some other appropriately nauseating pop song). BG now looks even more foolish as she tries to dance along to the tune. HQ is soon laughing her head off.
HQ: Man, you were wasting your time with all that junk about running around in a mask and cape and “upholding the law”! THIS is what you were really born to do!
BG continues to humiliate herself for HQ’s pleasure for a few more minutes, before HQ goes over and turns the boom box off. She then eyes the still-dancing BG deviously, one finger tapping her chin.
HQ: We’ve all seen your dancing, Bats… but how’s your singing?
Over the next couple of minutes, HQ makes BG sing a variety of songs, from Michael Jackson to the Barney theme song. BG sings most (if not all) of them horrifically off-key. By the end of the session, HQ is holding her nose closed and waving at the air with her free hand.
HQ: Woo! You stink worse than roadkill wrapped in my old gym socks! Good thing the neighbors are all on vacation… else, I’d already be busted seven ways to Sunday!
HQ then gives BG another once-over, and decides that the heroine is dry enough, grabbing BG’s leash, she begins to lead the heroine back inside. Once the two are a few feet away from the door, though, HQ suddenly lets go of the leash and makes a sweeping gesture toward BG.
HQ: After you!
BG accepts the gesture and opens the door. As soon as she steps through, however, a bucket falls and lands on her head. As BG stumbles around, blinded, HQ starts laughing again.
HQ is seen pulling the bucket off of BG’s head and tossing it aside, while leading BG into the room that she captured BG in. BG is made to stand in front of a camera on a tripod, chest thrust out and hands on hips.
HQ: Hey, Bats… remember when I said that I wasn’t gonna unmask ya?
BG: That’s right, mistress. You did say that.
HQ (in her best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice): I lied!
HQ claps a hand to her mouth and doubles over, letting out a stream of muffled giggles. BG continues to stand in “heroine form” staring mindlessly ahead. After a while, HQ straightens up again.
HQ: Well, TECHNICALLY speaking, I didn’t lie. I’M not gonna unmask you… YOU are!
HQ rushes out of the room, soon returning with the boom box in hand. She sets it by the camera; that done, she quickly slides behind the camera, and begins to narrate.
HQ: Ladies and germs, you all know her as the Caped Crusaderette, the Domino Daredoll, the one-and-only Batgirl! But from here on out… you, and me, and all those little tykes at home will know you by ANOTHER name!
HQ bends down and presses a button on the boom box; a drum-roll begins to play.
HQ: Do the honors for us, Batsy! Take off your mask… and do it real slow, will ya? We wanna see a show!
BG obeys HQ’s command; staring blankly ahead, the crimefighter slowly lifts her arms and places her hands on both sides of her mask. Then, as the drum-roll crescendos, she begins to slowly lift it upward. HQ claps a hand to her mouth, eyes widening as the mask is finally fully removed.
HQ: Holy guacamole! Barbara Gordon?! The commish’s little girl? The frumpy little killjoy librarian?
HQ slides right beside BG, making an exaggerated “OMG” face.
HQ: WHAT A TWIST! But wait, the WILDEST is yet to come!
HQ leans over and whispers something in BG’s ear, before prancing away. BG’s eyes begin to widen, and the mindless look melts off of her face, to be replaced by one of confusion and realization.
BG: Wha… what, where am I?
BG’s arms inadvertently lower, and she realizes what she’s holding in her hands. Her expression becomes one of utter shock as she realizes that her face is bare. Her mouth becomes a perfect “O”.
BG: You… you… un-
HQ: Wrong-a-roonie! I didn’t unmask ya, Batsy! YOU did! And we’ve got it ALL on film!
BG, overcome by emotion, silently mouths the words as her arms move erratically. A smirking HQ watches her for a few seconds, before feigning a yawn, reaching to the side, and picking up another chloroform pie.
HQ: Close your mouth, will ya? You’ll catch flies!
Not giving BG a chance to respond, HQ flings the pie at BG. The confection hits BG’s face dead on; seconds later, BG collapses and begins to snore under the pie tin stuck to her face.
HQ readies the camera, positioning it so that it directly faces her and the still-unmasked BG. BG is now bound and gagged once more; her face clearly exhibits horror and despair.
HQ: Testing, testing, one-two-three! Can ya hear me, Super-Dud?
BG makes several muffled sounds behind her gag; an annoyed HQ slaps her upside the head.
HQ: So, we’ve got a nice little SITUATION here… self-explanatory, right? Batsy here bit off a little more than she could chew, and NOW I’ve got her and her mask right where I want ‘em!
For emphasis, HQ raises BG’s mask and waves it in front of the camera.
HQ: But, being the oh-so-generous soul I am, I’m gonna give Batsy one shot at taking back her mistake! And that’s where YOU come in! See, this tape you’re watching? It’s got EVERYTHING I did to Batsy so far. You’re holding the only copy right now, and I’VE got the original… and I’m gonna give YOU a chance to just barge in and take it… if you CAN!
BG makes several more, and louder, protests through her gag. HQ gives her a side-glance.
HQ: Oops, hold on, it looks like Batsy here has something to say…
HQ removes the gag from BG’s mouth. BG splutters a bit, before speaking.
BG: This is a trap, Supergirl! Whatever you do, don’t-
HQ grabs a chloroform pie from off-screen and slams it into BG’s face. She holds the pie tin tightly against BG’s face, until BG’s protests slowly trail away into silence. Satisfied, HQ removes her hand, and BG’s face (with pie tin still stuck to it) slumps down.
HQ: As I was saying… are ya MAN enough to come and save your friend, Super-dud? Oh, and DON’T even think about calling for backup – I’ve got a dozen pretty lil’ pictures of Batsy without that silly mask, and if I see a HINT of Superman, Batman, or the cops… well, I don’t need to spell it out for ya, do I?
HQ turns around, bends over, and begins wagging her rear end at the camera for a few seconds, before reaching over and turning it off.
HQ: Alright, that should do it… better get this tape over to the cop house, stat! They’ll make sure that Supes gets this thing…
HQ gives the unconscious BG one last look, smirking.
HQ: Better get washed up, Batsy! We’ll be having company over real soon…