SG & The Broker : Brokers Revenge Chp 01-02

[Abductorenmadrid]

Hi all,

after receiving generally good feedback from my taster story SG & The Broker : The Get-Away and seeing some interest in my Pilot story Ive finally plucked up the courage to put it up here. This story basically sets the stage on how The Broker exacts her revenge on SG and sets up the uneasy relationship for the future where The Get-Away takes place, thats not to say I wont be able to fill in gaps with filler stories later on. This story is a little dark for me and depending on how it is received I may distance myself from this type of work or touch back on it.

I wrote this originally for LindaD of Superheroineforum / PGLinda of deviantART in reply to her Superheroine Museum works from Deviantbondage.com but due to its form as a story they are unable to use it, and so they have given their blessing for me to share it here with you instead.

Ive tried to keep this balanced and you will note that there is one very specific line I refused to cross in SGs treatment. Hopefully you are brave enough to get through to the other side and also realise I am not a total monster. At least I hope it doesnt put you off reading my other much much tamer efforts. Suffice to say this is a Dungeon story for a reason - and features elements inspired by sites like INSEX - Ive just turned things up 1 notch.

One last note before I begin with chapter 1. You will note in the text there are references to WMV files, this is the electronic voice of the SGs tormentor and they are included in the attached file. I hope the effect is, well , effective (give it a few chapters before you decide) but if not I will put the source text into the story body instead.

CHAPTER I
CAPTURED


There was a bright light, brighter than a thousand suns yet the woman clad in her purple latex, safe in her shielded control room, didn’t flinch. She waited a moment as the glare subsided then nervously approached the large window and hit the shutter button. With a gentle hum the security shutter began to rise, higher, higher, higher until it was open. Had it worked ? The red headed beauty placed her hands on the glass and looked down into the stark grey chamber below, her heart racing at the spectacle.

Below, the beautiful blonde haired woman lay perfectly still, at peace. One arm was stretched out ahead of her, the other curled up against her chest, the movement of her breasts indicating she was alive. Her left knee was almost up to her belly button, her right leg trailed out behind, her red boots accentuating the length of her beautiful legs, her red cape, draped over part of her body hinting at the lean slightly muscular body beneath.

The red head rested her forehead against the glass and sighed in relief, the glass fogged for a moment as her breath struck the glass. She had done it, her nemesis had been neutralised at last. She permitted herself to think for a moment, how she had endured terrible torment at the hands of the system the blonde below had delivered her into. Now would be the beginning of her revenge.

The red head pushed herself away from the glass and spun away from the window and made her way to the chamber below. Opening the steel sliding doorway she pushed a wooden pallet on a trolley into the chamber and parked it alongside the prone blonde . On the pallet was a steel frame, like a chair almost, skeletal in a way, and a series of small cardboard boxes and a wooden crate.

The red head looked down on the blonde with contempt and firmly put her foot against one of the blondes thighs nudging it away from the other, leaving her legs splayed apart. The red head smiled knowing what was to come and knelt down by the blonde and reached for one of the red boots. She placed a hand behind the heel and slid the boot off and tossed it to one side then worked on the other. Soon the cape and blue one piece lay in an untidy heap, the blonde was naked now and the red head began to open up the boxes.

The clear latex was thin but strong, and made in layers, between which were fine rubber tubes the connections for which appeared to leave in a cluster of little metal nodes between the shoulder blades. On the inside of the latex suit there were small metal outlet nodes, and red head eagerly searched and found the two metal plugs and renal catheter which she would soon be filling her captives holes. The red head began to redress the blonde , first her feet, then slowly tugging up the close fighting, but not skin tight latex up her legs higher and higher until just close to her crotch.

The blonde moaned slightly, winced, like she was having a bad dream but the red head knew the bad dream wasn’t even close to happening yet. Even as she burrowed the shiny steel hollow buttplug home, the red head knew this wasn’t the worst. The thing in the crate was the wickedest thing, but first, she had to get the suit on her soon to be severely punished and headfucked super bitch. The catheter, vaginal and anal plugs were buried into position, and now the suit was mostly up the blondes torso.

The red head smiled, as she saw that amongst others, there were a pair of metal nodes that lined up directly above the breasts of her captive. Higher, and higher the red head worked on the blonde and now she was dressed in the clear latex suit up to her neck, only the faint spiderweb of fine tubes snaking around her body blocked any view of her body. The red head reached for the clear hood, its internal almost snorkel like arrangement she forced into the blondes mouth, its myriad of little tubes and pair of imposing hoses lay trailing, redundant across the floor, for the time being at least.


The blonde was still knocked out, even with all that was being done to her, she didn't yet awaken. Before she was all dressed in red and blue, now, she was imprisoned in clear latex, her long blonde hair was drawn out through a socket in the top of her hood. The red head paused for a moment, it was tiring work but this was her revenge and she loved it. The red head wrapped the thick clear rubber collar around the blondes neck, she made sure it was a very snug fit then padlocked it in place. She looked at the key for the lock, it was very symbolic to her, she was going to keep it close to her forever.

The sound of the blondes gentle breathing as it echoed down one of the hoses was a turn on for the red head and it urged her to carry on with her preparations. The red head flipped the blonde over onto her chest, and turned her attention to the wooden crate. She brushed away the packing material and then she saw it, the unit she had been working on for the last few years. She lifted the black carbon fibre shelled backpack out of the crate, and carried it over to the prone blonde .

The red head placed the backpack against the back of the blonde and heard a few whirs and a gentle hiss as the unit docked with the cluster of connection points on the blondes back. The red head smiled wickedly and felt the excitement well up inside of her. Her nightmare was coming true for this little blonde bitch, at last!

The red head carefully lifted the blonde and placed her into the metal frame and began to restrain her to it. The frame really only supported the backs of the thighs and upper fore arms, and it seemed to have some hydraulics which could adjust angles and heights of the blondes pose. For now at least the red head seemed content to have her prisoner in a half stood, half sat position. She gave the blonde a playful slap on the behind before finally hooking up the remaining hoses from the hood to the backpack.

The red head looked admiringly at her work, the blonde had already begun to sweat in her latex prison and small streams of sweat could be seen working their way down the blondes body. The red head was transfixed for a moment before she snapped out of her trance and returned to the crate. She pulled out a metal basket, like a small crate, lined up with small metal flasks and carried them to the blonde and carefully finding the catches opened the backpack.

“Hmmmm, this one here ….. this one here ….oh this one goes here ….” the red head said as each flask hissed as it snapped into place. The red head carefully closed the pack and then hooked up two hoses that fed from the wall of the chamber and plugged them into external ports on the backpack.

It was done, the blondes fate was sealed. She was going to endure the red heads revenge for a long long time. The red head knew time was running out for her to prepare her prisoners cell so set to work on bringing in the other equipment but soon the room was filled with metal stands equipped with lamps and cameras and lights.

The red head walked to the exit of the room, smiled and closed the door, returning to her control room. She so wanted to be in the chamber in person but she at least wanted to let the blonde have to worry about who had taken her prisoner, who had beaten her, who had subjected her to this vicious torture.


The red head sat at her computer, surrounded by banks of screens, and checked the feeds from her cameras, the suit, the backpack. The red head lent forward and smiled, time to begin, she thought as she began to type.

“Message of the day …...”

Inside the chamber the blonde began to stir. Her mind was like a computer which was booting up in slow motion. At first she was only half aware of the constriction round her body. It was there, but she didn’t understand it, as she breathed she could feel a slight resistance to each breath. Slowly her senses awakened but it was if each sensation was isolated from the other. She was groggy and unlike a normal awakening, as your body slowly begins to stretch out, to explore with the senses, this awakening was frozen in place.

The red head was head down on her desk, asleep, she had spent the first six hours awake, glancing at her screens, and listening to the erotic sound of her prisoner gently breathing in her sleep. The microphone that was in the hood captured everything. The subtle breathing had almost acted like the sound of the sea, or the patter of rain on a window, and the red head succumbed and now was at peace.

The screens continued to broadcast their data, heat rate, breathing, blood pressure, all normal, such as normal is for a powerless super being. Then, from nothing, bleeps emanated from one of the speakers, a message appeared on one of the screens.

“Subject is awake”

The red head raised her head from her desk and rubbed her eyes glancing around the myriad of screens. She realised now that it was time to set things in motion and unleash her revenge on the blonde in the chamber below.

The blonde now had begun to realise her predicament. She flexed her hands against her restraints and she tried to rise away using her muscular legs yet couldn’t break free. She grunted as she tried to turn her head and failed, then she noticed the untidy heap of her clothes on the floor in front of her. Everything of hers was there, her boots, her cape, her blue one piece. What she was wearing was soft, warm, but she could see it was completely clear, this was some kind of latex or rubber she concluded.

She begun to think about who had taken her prisoner, what their intentions were, if they wanted to kill her they could have done that by now, perhaps they wanted information, or perhaps to study her, her mind ran on and on with thoughts.

The red head reclined in her seat, enjoying the view as the trapped blonde flexed her muscles and failed to escape. The screen showing the close up of the blondes face captured the movement of her eyes darting about, studying everything she could see about her. The red head put on her headphones and began to listen quietly to her captives stressed breathing and grunts while one hand lazily slid between her latex clad crotch and began to tease her slit as she listened and watched her subject struggle with her new situation.






The blonde concluded she was powerless, she had tried to exert her strength against her restraints and failed and her usually reliable vision didn’t seem to aid her to see what might be beyond the concrete walls that seemed to surround her. It was now she began to feel a slight discomfort below, she could feel the intruders inside of her which caused her to almost sigh. In a moment of clarity, the blonde closed her eyes and relaxed her muscles, she was saving herself for the inevitable meeting with her host.

The red head glanced at all the monitors, her captive seemed to have given up her struggle already. The blonde seemed to be waiting for whatever was next and the red head for a moment seemed slightly surprised. Perhaps the blonde was waiting for her to show herself, to move on to whatever was coming next. The red head smiled, the blonde thought she was going to be centre stage, that she was going to meet her captor, get a monologue, perhaps get to have own say, try and get an avenue to escape. The red head let out a small “pah” with a chuckle, she knew better, the blonde was going to be left alone down there for a little while longer yet, with her instruments of punishment.

The blonde was now relaxed, waiting patiently, the intruders inside her body were obvious yet tolerable and although her breathing was ever so slightly difficult it was bearable, though the tubes resting on her tongue were the most difficult. What was going to happen next she wondered, but she didn’t have to wait too long.

WMV01 <Download the audio zip below !>





The red head looked at her displays as the backpack completed its self test and smiled as she noted the blonde had fallen out of her relaxed state and was looking about her as best she could. The red head knew her prisoner could hear the electronic voice of the computer, she had deliberately put earphones around her captives ears, she wanted the blonde to know what was happening to her, every step of the way. This was going to be the red heads primary means of communicating to her prisoner, denying the blonde a chance to reply, to negotiate, to beg, to make excuses.

The blonde tried to see the source of the voice, it was electronic, but reluctantly accepted that her field of view prevented her seeing where it came from. Her mind whirred, pumps, valves, bottles, the machine had said, what was going to happen to her now ? She renewed her effort to escape but gave up when it was obvious nothing had changed since her last attempt. Whatever that bright flash was it had rendered her powerless, for the time being at least.

The red head looked at the time, it was getting late, their little adventure had started that morning and most of the day had been consumed by preparing the cute blonde prisoners punishment suit and cell. The red head decided, it was time to begin with a subtle demonstration of what was to come, she wanted to be awake for the main event, so tonight experience was going to be mild yet tiring for her pretty captive.

WMV02 <Download the audio zip below !>


The red head looked on as the blonde had to work harder and harder to keep breathing inside her gasmask. The blondes eyes darted sideways looking for escape perhaps, the red head smiled evil, she knew that there would always be sufficient oxygen to keep her prisoner alive, though the blonde would have to focus on managing her breathing for the night. And no longer being 'super' would mean that would be quite a lot of work ! “Good night bitch, enjoy your living hell”, the red head said to herself as she left the control room for an adjoining room.

The blonde could feel it becoming harder and harder to breathe but just as she thought it was all over, the calibration cycle began to ramp up the amount of air she could suck down the tubes that were keeping her alive. Normally oxygen wasn’t a necessity for her, but without her abilities she was as dependent on air to breathe as anyone else. If she concentrated she would make it without blacking out, but how long would she have to endure this calibration phase, she wondered. A hint of an answer came when the lights in the chamber went out and she was cast into darkness.

END CHAPTER 01

====================

CHAPTER II
NEW REALITY


(IF YOU CAN PUSH THROUGH THIS CHAPTER THEN YOU WILL PROBABLY READ THE WHOLE STORY, IT GETS A BIT TAMER AFTER THIS)
The red head turned over lazily in her sleep, she twitched gently, caught in her dream, or was it a nightmare. She remained in her latex catsuit and was laying on a plain metal bed, it was more like a cell than a bedroom. The room was bathed in the blue glow of a monitor, its readouts showing a summary page of the status of the prisoner in the chamber below.

WMV03 <Download the audio zip below !>

The blonde permitted herself to exhale her lungs and took what breath she could. This was a nightmare, how many cycles had she done this for now ? Each time, she had to manage with less and less, then hold on while resistance to her breathing fell to normal again. She felt tired already, who was running this thing ? Was this it , forever ? Her heart pumped in fear which created more fear, she knew she had to keep her head or her stress would burn through even more air.

Inside her dream the red head was looking down at a clipboard. The question written on the paper in front of her seemed incredibly easy, just work out the simple bit of mathematics. It was simple addition yet she barely could think about it! Why cant I do it, she thought to herself. She looked up sheepishly to the man in green combats, he was glancing at his stopwatch, his oxygen mask over his face. The red head glanced at the fuzzy clipboard …...

BEEP BEEP BEEP!
The red head awoke from her dream. The alarm meant it was 07:00 and the captor sat up and looked eagerly at the lone monitor in her almost empty room.

“Subject is unconscious : Safe Mode Active”

“Pathetic”, thought the red head. She could see that the subject was breathing normally, in fact everything was normal but at some point the prisoner had lost her battle to manage her own breathing and she had blacked out. The red head stood up and stretched for a moment before returning to her control room where she sat down and looked over the more detailed readings from the various sensors on her prisoners body.

The blonde slowly woke up, again she was slightly confused by her new surroundings and initially tried to wrestle with her restraints. The computer voice that had been reciting percentages at her for what seemed an eternity was silent. Perhaps now she would meet her captor. Whoever was keeping her had made a firm demonstration of their power over her, if they wanted her dead they could have easily done so.

The red head looked at the camera feeds. The blonde already looked tired, but as her first night of being mortal was spent being tormented with death by asphyxiation that was to be expected. “Well, perhaps her mental resolve will have softened a little, she thought she could lay back and wait for me to show myself, well, no, more torment for you, bitch!” The red head looked down at her keyboard and … CLUNK … she bashed the RETURN key.

The blonde could see nothing had changed in her chamber, and that’s when she realised the lights were back on. Whoever was running the show had turned them back on perhaps.

WMV04a - WMV04b <Download the audio zip below !>

The red head slowly masturbated as she heard the machine read out her wicked punishment to her prisoner. The blondes eyes went wide in anticipation of her torture. Who would do such a thing, and why !? She quickly analysed her situation again and concluded that she couldn’t prevent the machines prophecy from being carried out. She made one more attempt to get herself free but could feel the subtle vibrations of motors whirring of the device on her back.

The red head looked triumphantly at her screen as the lines of code began to execute, the backpack was coming to life as expected.

WMV05 <Download the audio zip below !>

The blonde could feel her breathing falter as cold water began to spray over her body within her suit and then the sensation hit her, it was like cold fingers of ice, slowly penetrating into her. She slowly felt her body swell in an unimaginable way as the enema was forced into her body. It was an odd uncomfortable sensation reaching deep inside of her and the extreme cold took her breath away.

The red head laughed in her control room as the blonde prisoner convulsed with the cold water flooding over her body. Already the tubes carrying the waste water away became murky, the blonde would soon be cleansed inside and outside.

Soon the water stopped, the motors came to rest and there was silence. The blonde panted, this was unlike anything she could imagine, drenched inside this latex catsuit. She could feel goosebumps form on her arms and legs, this was something she had never experienced before though she had seen it on humans.

The red head took in the images she was capturing on camera in her control room. Her revenge was coming true, the powerless woman, the one who she had been plotting against for so long was truly going to endure what she planned for her. The red head revelled in the sound of the blondes distress only to be annoyed when the automated program kicked into the next phase.

WMV06 <Download the audio zip below !>

“Grrrrr” grunted the blonde. A tingling warm sensation had begun to warm the flesh of her breasts, her clit was starting to awaken, her ass was warming too. Slowly the tingling turned to heat and then she began to throb! “Aaahhhh” she moaned, knowing she could do nothing to relieve the burning sensation in some of her more sensitive places. These were all new sensations to her, she realised how her super abilities had prevented her from knowing these new feelings. She tugged in all directions in her frustrated rage but couldn’t escape her bonds.

The red head held her finger over the panic button for a moment, it seemed like the prisoner might break free in her mini rage but the bonds held firm, the normally super powered being had been rendered into a normal late teen , early twenty something woman. The red head glanced over her screens and smiled at some of the bio readings of prisoner. “Oh, really ?”, a wicked smile crept out the corner of her mouth.


There was a pause, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, the blonde didn’t know, but it was difficult for her, trapped there in her latex prison, but she could feel the nozzles gentle spraying of the irritant come to an end.

“That’s right, burn bitch”, thought the red head, but now … breakfast!

WMV07 <Download the audio zip below !>

The red head watched as the heart rate of her torture toy began to bounce irregularly, she could only guess at the terror and humiliation running through her head. The red head had prepared a thick purée meal, forcing it into the prone blondes body before making her eat it was one of a few evil deviations she had developed a kink for, which she would never had known if it wasn’t for the blonde herself. At least the meal, forced into the blondes spotlessly clean innards, would be relatively clean to eat, not that she was going to have any choice.

The blonde was slightly nauseas, she felt the slightly warm mush being forced into her, and she had no doubt that her captor was going to carry out their next threat. She was already frustrated by the burning on her breasts, her clit throbbed and her backside was roasting.

WMV08 <Download the audio zip below !>

The blonde groaned as she felt her most intimate area being violated in such a grim way. The red head sneered as she could visibly see the blondes discomfort. “That’s a girl”, she thought, knowing she had endured just as much or worse in the hell hole she ended up in. “Now eat up bitch !”

WMV09 <Download the audio zip below !>

The blonde was snorting through her nose, here it came … her eyes glanced down and could see the passage of the material as it snaked up the tubes inevitably into the snorkel kind of arrangement in her mouth. While the idea repulsed her, the food such as it was wasn’t disgusting based on its taste alone, but she knew where it had been which made it a difficult task, but she swallowed, desperate to prevent herself drowning in food.

It took about 30 minutes for the meal to be consumed and it made the blonde almost sick to think of it sitting in her stomach. What else was there to come !? The red head knew the truth, the water, the laxative laced water was next. What excited the red head most was knowing that the blonde, the high and mighty super slave, was stimulated by the irritation cream on her clit, and her pussy had begun to prepare its own juices. The red head was excited knowing that the blonde plaything was responding in a sexual way. As far as anyone knew, the pretty alien had never had any sexual activity before. The laxative drinking water that was going to be pumped first into the prisoners pussy was going to be laced with her own cum before being force fed it, a bonus for the red head.


WMV10 <Download the audio zip below !>

The blonde was now dealing with several unpleasant sensations at once, her pussy, felt like it was swelling and the unpleasant meal sat like a weight in her stomach. Her body ached from her bondage and the irritation cream burned her skin, and now she was was going to be force fed water. The minutes passed and then the whirring stopped, the pressure building inside down below subsided, she felt full to bursting and then …

WMV11 <Download the audio zip below !>
The red head watched with delight as the blonde began to squirm then glanced at the time. It was going to take a little while to pump the bitch up with laxative, she could afford to leave her station a little while. She rose and returned to her little room, next to her bed was her little bedside table and she opened the draw and pulled out a vibrator.

The blonde slurped on the liquid being slowly forced into her, she had no choice. The flavour had been tainted by her juices though she didn’t know it, she hadn’t tasted herself before, she just kept going. Inside her, her innards began to protest, gurgling, growling even, and the blonde snorted in discomfort through her nose until all the liquid had been consumed. Now everything stopped, the blonde glanced around nervously her eyes revealing her discomfort, not realising they were just waiting for nature to take its course.

The red head returned from her quarters and sat in the control room. All systems had paused, waiting for the inevitable. “Only a matter of time now bitch!” the red head thought as she glanced at the clock. And then it happened, the blondes eyes revealed she was resigned to having to expel, as the bottom fell out of her world.

WMV12 <Download the audio zip below !>

“Why ? What have I done to deserve this ?!” The blondes mind struggled for answers, she had no idea who was behind this or the motive. She had hoped to meet her captor by now, she hadn’t predicted this completely hands off approach of the person or people who had her. And this torture was horrific, yet clinical, it was more psychological than physical, which criminal went for that ? She grunted as she felt her insides continue to rebel against the presence of food in side of her, the laxative working its magic.

The red head smiled, watching the sensor show the waste bottle filling. “Soon, you proud little blue bird, earth’s protector!” She waited until the prisoner seemed exhausted and almost empty and clicked a key on her keyboard. Next !

WMV13 <Download the audio zip below !>

Oh god, no ! Amongst the symmetrical network of fine tubes just visible between the double layer of fine latex a pair began to stand out, the train of dark murky matter began to snake its way across her body to two points just below the blondes collarbones on either side and she could feel the hot matter beginning to spray out over her chest. Worst still, she knew she was only refilling that waste bottle with what remained inside her body.

The red head laughed, the pretty blonde, usually strutting about with her perfect tits, now was enduring a bath in her own mess. She slow clapped for a moment, victorious.

The blonde could slowly feel her self getting showered in her prison. Her mind was a mix of emotions, new emotions, she had never felt this way, she could normally just power out of any situation, at times she would sit on the moon, gather her thoughts when things troubled her. There had never been any situation she couldn’t get out of on her own but she was trapped in this hell and it was starting to sink in that perhaps she would never meet her tormentor.

Her shame, realising exactly what was being done to her, was quickly overcome. She realised that her situation wasn’t of her own choosing, the shame lay with the person who was doing this. It was hurting her emotionally but she wasn’t going to let this psychological game beat her. She was powerless, so she decided to not resist, resisting the irresistible was pointless, she had to save her self for when an opportunity arose.

The red head smiled wickedly as she could see the blonde was now covered mostly from neck to foot in her expulsions, time to get toasty, thought the red head as she hit a switch. A group of heat lamps turned on, their orange light bathed the blondes body, the red head knew it was going to get warm in there.

Oh great, there’s more! The blonde closed her eyes, she felt the heat fall onto her body, it wasn’t extreme but she knew that inside her rubber prison she was going to slowly get hotter and hotter.

WMV14 <Download the audio zip below !>

The blonde began to taste the slightly salty water mix being forced into her mouth. So this was how it was to be, kept hot in her disgusting prison, and force fed her own piss.

The red head looked on dispassionately. “That’s right whore, keep drinking and pissing and drinking,and pissing. I’m keeping you recycling all day! At least the fresh water will keep you alive, you should be grateful for that, I didn’t even get that!”

The blonde closed her eyes and sought to find a safe place in her mind. She was hot, parts of her burned from the irritant, and she could do nothing but slowly drink what was being presented to her mouth. She slowly found a rhythm and just worked with it, she didn’t know that her captor had set a timer, the blonde was going to have to bake for several hours just drinking and drinking.

The red head settled in and watched the various feeds, today in her mind was a great success but while there was time she should prepare for tomorrow. This evenings memo had already been prepared !

“Memo of the day ….”


The blondes eyes fluttered open for a moment, save for the warming glow of the lamps the chamber had been cast back into darkness. This was going to be a battle of minds, she had to keep on drinking, but she could feel the caked on mess encasing her body beneath the latex, how dare she be treated this way, she thought.

WMV15 <Download the audio zip below !>

The blonde was exhausted, but at least she was likely to have a chance to sleep, all she had to do was keep drinking for a few more hours. The liquid was slightly bitter, as she expected it to be, whoever was doing this to her really really didn’t like her, but who would have such a grudge, and who would have the know how and resources to render her like this ? She continued to gulp, almost automatically, just a few hours she thought.

END CHAPTER 02

AEM

[DrDominator9]

A slow build to this story but still intriguing. I'm looking forward to more. Also, a very sexy voice on the wmv files.

[tmon]

Lovely torture and you sure did a lot of work on the audio files!!!

[Abductorenmadrid]

Tmon,

I'm glad you appreciate the effort and haven't been put off by the scope of what I've done so far, it does ease up a little. I thought the 'voice' idea might add an extra dimension and possibly get the readers pulses elevated.

I can't say the idea is original, if you are familiar with some BDSM sites that scene live they often have a 'voice' for their members. Equally there was a 'voice' overdubbed on a fan edit of some WW episodes of WW in peril (I can't recall where) which also encouraged me to try this out.

Unfortunately of the nearly 90 views of the story so far ( can't say for sure if those were only chp 1 or 1 and 2) only 9 downloads of chapter 1s audio have been taken and only 1 full set of chapter 2's - but I know my story telling method isn't for everyone.

[Void]

I think non-members (which will be the majority of people) can't download the files, so that will probably be a big factor in the low number there.

The content isn't for me but it is well imagined and put together. The conceit of what is going on is quite compelling and its a pretty powerful kind of helplessness for the heroine - its certainly something new! I think you present it all quite well in the writing.

Most helpful criticism I can offer is that you may want to read the whole thing back to yourself, line by line, as if you're coming to it for the first time and test for yourself if it reads how you want it to. It is a total pain, I know, but it will allow you to properly polish it and get rid of little errors here and there.

All the best!

[Abductorenmadrid]

Void,

ah yes, of course (slaps own forehead), the guests wont get the files. Well, if it encourages a few guests to become members then .... not a bad thing. Having only a 1% rate of "fully read" to "page visits" is slightly disheartening so I may have to just put the "voice" transcript in to reach an audience. I'll keep an eye on the "stats" before deciding how to proceed, I just feel those audio elements would lose so much punch converted to text.

Regarding your "read back" suggestion, I know this is a weak spot of mine, I really do get "blind" in my writings sometimes, (I get too close to my own work) I often wonder if I have a very slight dyslexia issue. I will try to be more vigilant when I post Chapter 03.

Now I need to stay off the forums for a little bit, I'm overposting !