SG & The Broker : The Get-Away

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Abductorenmadrid
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Hi, this story is part of a long running series the details of which you can find here in the SG&The Broker section.

Ive been a fan of heroine peril for a long time and Id just like to make a contribution and hope you like it. Just a little front end knowledge so you know where the story is coming from.

I have written a story for another forum member in response to her "Superheroine Museum" works on DeviantArt (shes PGLinda there and LindaD on this forum). The story I wrote for her was quite dark for me (and too dark for here) but I thought it may work for her and the content that she seemed to be interested in. The general mental imagery I had when I wrote that particular story was for example, the efforts of Derjorge of DeviantArt, especially his Trockenraum - Forcible Feeding and The Pleasure Suit.

The character, The Broker, was once an innocent, accidentally wronged by SG, brought close to death, somewhat scarred and left sexually frustrated. The Broker discovers a way to neutralize SG and sets about a series of revenge punishments that recreate the torments she faced herself in her former life. Along the journey SG discovers sexual pleasure but learns it comes at the price of her powerless submission, likewise The Broker discovers that an empowered SG can overcome her own physical damage and also enjoy sexual pleasure. This more or less assures an uneasy truce and a recurring cycle of submission and de-powerment for SG and later restoration for The Brokers pleasure. The problem for SG is ........ will The Broker let her go again next time she submits ? The problem for the Broker, will SG come back for more the next time she lets her go ?

So, now Ive toned things down, Ive got a world with SG, The Broker and its open to everything else I could put into it. This story, The Get-Away is kind of written in a way I can backfill if / when I can or lead onto afterwards, all you know is something has happened before the events of The Get-Away story, other things are happening at the same time as this story and things will happen after.

Thank you for your time,

AEM




The Get Away

Ch 1 - Enter McGee

"Welcome to Century Twenty One Airport .... Please remember there is a no smoking policy in force inside the terminal buildings and public areas" the voice said over the overhead speakers.

Janet stood behind her checkout desk and smiled politely to the next passenger in the queue and beckoned them to approach. The passenger, an elderly man began to push his trolley towards the check in desk and the awaiting luggage belt. Beyond the waiting queue Janet could see her colleagues in the ticket office talking to a man who had just walked up to them brandishing what looked like a cops badge in one hand. Janet could only imagine the conversation they were having, mouths moved but they were too far away to be heard. Janet’s smile faded as she knew the time was approaching.

"I said .. I’m going to London ..." the old man repeated as he passed over his booking slip and passport. Janet flinched and her false smile returned as she scanned the passport and begun to process the booking. In the distance one of the airline staff was pointing over at Janet as the cop traced the imaginary line with his eyes from where he was towards Janet’s desk.

"OK ... so pass through security and your gate information will be on the screens beyond, this is your seat number, here is your boarding time and luggage receipt" Janet said calmly as she circled information on the man’s ticket with her red pen, sticking the luggage receipt label on the back. Janet glanced over her shoulder to see the old man’s hold luggage trundle behind the plastic curtain and beyond.
When Janet looked forward again she saw that the cop, a big heavy man, and her supervisor, a skinny, curly haired man had made it to her desk unnoticed.

"Hey Janet ....." the supervisor began ...."this is Agent McGee from the DHS..... he needs a word .... you can use the break room .... Ill cover your desk"Janet glanced between the two men, McGee had beady probing eyes, his forehead glistened slightly with sweat, no doubt from hauling his bulky frame around.

"Oh ...DHS... is ......is everything ok ?" Janet asked.

"Please, Janet ...... may I call you Janet ? Ill explain everything " McGee said, arm outstretched leading Janet away.





Ch 2 - The Odd Couple

Inside the break room McGee and Janet sat facing one another over a table. Coffee rings dotted the table surface, two discarded plastic cups sat to one side. "I’m sorry this is all a little rushed but things are kind of in motion, so to speak" McGee said as he patted his jacket pockets looking for his notepad and pen. From his black bag he pulled out his tablet computer and put it on the desk.

"Is everything ok ?" Janet asked looking concerned.

"Well ..... lets just see .....now then ....." McGee flipped open his notepad .... "ah ok .... so .....to be sure, your shift started about 6 hours ago, correct ?" Janet glanced up at the wall clock, its second hand slowly, silently sweeping through time, her mind calculating how long she had really been there.

"Oh sure, at 9am ......" Janet confirmed.

McGee picked up his tablet and dabbed at it with his podgy fingers ..." What we are trying to do is find out more about these two people here .. they came through your desk at 9.30am...." McGee flipped the tablet around and showed Janet a grainy CCTV image of two people, a tall bald headed man and a what looked to be blonde woman.

"Oh ... ummm .... I’m not sure ....... I think I remember the man ... the woman ..... I’m not sure about her though. Is this the best you have .. this is from the Departure Hall ... there is a camera just behind my desk which would have......" Janet frowned.

"Yes" cut in McGee " this is the best I have .... now ....focus ....concentrate" McGee insisted.



Ch 3 - Just Checkin'

Janet smiled her best fake smile and beckoned the tall blonde towards her. A few places further back in the queue the bald headed man adjusted his tie and subtly winked at Janet. The blond made it to the desk and placed her forearms on its surface like she was struggling to stand.

"Please ...! You’ve got to help me ....I'm ..." the blond began.

Janet’s fake smile vanished in an instant ..... " I KNOW .." she said in a stern yet low voice.

The blond seemed speechless as Janet snatched the passport from the blonds fingers and began to scan it.

"What is going to happen to me ..... where are they taking me ....?" begged the blond in a low weak voice.

"A long ride" Janet said sinisterly leaning forward over her desk .."Let me see you .....underneath ...."

The blond could barely shake her head. "Now .." Janet insisted.

The blond subtly reached for the zip of her tracksuit top and began to draw it down. "Lower ..." Janet ordered "you know what I want to see"The blond drew the zip down below her breasts, Janet beamed triumphantly, the skin-tight clear dark green catsuit underneath gripped the flesh of the blond beneath. The heads of special ceramic tacks had been heat welded into the suit, forming two neat circles around the blonds breasts.

"Good ...you can zip up now ... !" Janet said mockingly as she returned the passport "Ill give your ticket to your escort ..... we don’t want to ruin your surprise destination"

Janet snapped back to the present. "I’m sorry Agent McGee ....... I vaguely remember a blond ..... she seemed a little tired but I don’t think she was with this man." Janet said confidently.McGee scribbled notes with his pen, his eyes occasionally scanning the face of the woman opposite him.

Ch 4 - Detector
The Security area was bustling with activity. The occasional beep could be heard as a metal detector went off, the sound of plastic trays being dropped, stacked, filled, emptied, the clink of belts being undone by weary travelers, boots being taken off, suitcases tossed onto the conveyors to pass by scanners.

Lisa called a passenger through the detector archway, and as often happens the red lights lit up and the familiar beep went off. The passenger, a 20 something backpacker with short brown hair instinctively put her arms out to her side and Lisa waved her metal detector past the woman’s body. The detector wailed while passing over the passengers stomach which provoked an embarrassed giggle as she revealed a belly button ring and a light silver colored waist chain.

Lisa finished her scan and let the passenger move on. That’s when a hand lightly touched her shoulder from behind. Lisa looked over her shoulder expecting it to be one of her male colleagues but an unfamiliar face was in front of her.

"Hi, I’m Agent McGee from the DHS ...." the man said as he produced a wallet holding his badge and ID.

"Oh .... what’s up ?" Lisa replied.

In the security office the pair were shielded from most of the noise of the security hall.

"So, you did a pull out .... a female passenger, today, this morning ....." started McGee as he showed Lisa the same grainy CCTV image as he had shown Janet.

"Ummmm.....yes ........." Lisa looked at the grainy image "that could be her .... I guess ..... I see a lot of faces in the course of a day .... don’t you have the video from here ?"McGee looked a little annoyed at the question "We are working on that, in the meantime, what can you tell me, why did you pull her from the line ?"

"Oh well, she had a MDC go off in a hotspot so I had to do an IBS..." Lisa said, she sounded a little phased at being questioned on the matter.

"Wait, sorry, I’m not up on your terminology here ... and MDC ....IBS .....?" McGee asked, his normally frantic pen pausing above the notepad.

"Oh sorry ... she basically set the main detector off and when I passed her with the hand-held there was an MDC ... a Metal Detection Contact .... but it was in an intimate location .." Lisas eyes looked down into her lap indicatively ...

"I see ..... and IBS ......" McGee queried as he resumed scribbling.
"Intimate Body Search ....we basically bring them here and ... well .. establish what the deal is ...." Lisa continued

"So ......focus ....concentrate tell me everything" McGee asked as he leant back in his chair, his beady eyes scanning Lisas face.


Ch 5 - False Sense of Security

BEEP !!

The blond paused just beyond the arch and raised her arms. She glanced over her shoulder and saw the bald headed man, his annoyance written all over his face, she should have gotten clean through.

Lisa took her hand-held detector and began to scan over the blonds body. As she leant in closer and swept over and under the blonds arms the blond whispered.

"Please ... you have to help me ..... I have to get out of here ...." whispered the blond.

Lisa continued to scan over the blonds body.....

"If you need to talk privately I can pull you off the line ...." Lisa replied discreetly.

"Yes . please .." responded the blond.

Lisa continued to scan and eventually located the area where the offending metal object resided, near the blonds groin.

"Would you like to follow me please ......" Lisa said in a slightly raised voice.

The pair arrived in the security office and Lisa firmly closed the door behind them.

"Oh thank you .. thank you ....." blubbed the blond ... "you’ve got to help me ...... there is a man ..... he’s trying to take me ......"

Lisa grabbed one of the blonds wrists with one hand and slapped her face with the other.

The blonds jaw dropped in shock and disbelief.

"SHUT .. UP ....... where is it !? ...... what is it ?!" demanded Lisa. The blond was still in shock, she thought this was a person she could trust, was there anyone not in on this conspiracy ?

"Show me .... now !" Lisa demanded.

"I thought ......" the blond said weakly.

"Jeezus..." Lisa grabbed at the chest of the blonds zip up tracksuit top and dragged her to the centre of the room. "If you think I’m going to let you fuck it up for me ......." Lisa snarled as she unzipped the tracksuit top and pushed it back from the womans shoulders causing it to slide to the floor.

Lisa paused for a moment as she took in the sight of the very fit, very attractive blond inside the green latex. Lisa undid the drawstring of the tracksuit bottoms and drew them down and motioned to the blond to step out.The blond evidently had been sealed into this dark green skin-tight catsuit. Her hands were free and Lisa could only wonder if the blonds feet were trapped inside the latex prison or not, she was wearing socks and sneakers.

"WHERE and WHAT is it .... what do you have, freak !" demanded Lisa as she picked up another scanner.

The blond covered her crotch with one hand while her other arm crossed over her visible breasts heaving in their latex prison. "Its a brass casing, from a fired bullet ..... its in here with me ..... I hid it when they took me ........... you’re not going to get away with this" the blond said, regaining her composure.

Lisa pulled the blonds hand away from her crotch and scanned with the detector, put the detector down and probed the area with her finger. Lisa quickly found a hard spot inside the suit, just to the side of the woman’s labia more or less near her groin.

"Fuck, think you’re clever huh .....And what’s this ?" Lisa patted a hard rubbery disk between the blonds legs. The blond gasped, perhaps it was a little moan ...."What do you think it is ...." the blond replied defiantly. Lisa stood up and gripped the blonds throat and pushed her back against the wall.

"Now listen very carefully ....." said Lisa menacingly as she planted her knee between the blonds legs, placing pressure against the base of the dildo that sat inside the blonds body. "Ahh please ..... you’re hurting my back .....there are ....." the blond gasped.
Lisa clamped her free hand over the blonds mouth and paused dramatically, glaring into the blonds eyes, her other hand still gripped the blonds throat. "I’m going to put you back out there with your bald headed friend ......" Lisa continued as she rhythmically and gently put force against the blonds crotch. The blonds eyes rolled back in her head as Lisa ground away with her knee.

"You wont talk to anyone", the blond moaned submissively as Lisa continued .." you will stay in line and you will get on your flight like a good girl .." Lisas grip was firm against the blonds throat, her victims face slowly reddening as she continued to moan.

"Do you understand ..... ?" Lisa demanded.

"Mmmph" moaned the blond as Lisa slowly released her mouth. Lisa released the pressure from the blonds throat and let her hands slide down her chest letting them settle on her breasts. "What are these ?" Lisa asked as her thumbs glided in symmetry over the lighter coloured hard spots which were neatly arranged around the blonds breasts.

The blond winced .. "They’re rough ... please ....don’t ....."

Lisa gently cupped the blonds breasts and felt their weight in her hands ...... "are there more ....? Oh well .... I see these ......" Lisas fingers traced a line of more of the stud like items that ran in two lines , either side of the centre line of the suit over the blonds subtle six pack abs.

"Those.....some over my knees .... I think there are two lines down either side of my back ...." the blond confessed.

"Show me ...." Lisa ordered.

The blond spun around and Lisa hinted to her to place her palms against the wall.

"Oh my .... well ... you’re not going to have a comfortable trip ...." Lisa said as she placed her thumbs against the two lines of studs more or less either side of her spine starting over her shoulder blades. The blond winced as Lisa traced downwards, downwards, until she reached the blonds buttocks which each had a circular pattern of stud heads. A pair of lines ran down the back of the blonds thighs, stopping just above and behind the blonds knees.

"I don’t know where you are going ....." Lisa whispered as she let the blond know the location of every itchy, scratchy ceramic stud irritating her body. "... but I know its long-haul.."

Lisas eyes seemed to glaze over for a moment ....

"Ahem" McGee cleared his throat ..... "you were saying"

"Oh yes .. in the end it was just some silly piercing the girl had .... you know .... down there" Lisa intimated with her eyes.

"Ah I see .. just a piercing......" McGee scribbled a note.

"Uh huh .... its all in the logbook ... but I don’t think I’ve forgotten anything ...." Lisa replied

"No, I don’t think there’s anything else ..." McGee quipped.



Ch 6 - unDynamic Duo

"Please pay attention to the gate information screens as we do not make boarding calls over the PA system. Remember, your gate may be changed without notice." the tannoy announced.

Agent McGee and another man walked purposefully past the departure lounges, gate D34, Gate D36, Gate D38...

"Yes .... they have been with us for about 10 years ... they’ve been based here at Century Twenty One for 4 of those ......." stated the man to McGee ...."they should have just finished now if the flight leaves on time"

The pair of men rounded the corner at Gate D42 and two women were just tidying the desk at the departure gate. Beyond through the glass could be seen a 777, its bright company colours gleaming in the sun pushing back from the walkway ramp that had been just disconnected from the plane.

"Hey .... ladies ..... Sandra .... Kate ..... this is agent McGee from the DHS ... he would like to ask a few questions about one of the flights we handled earlier on. Now ... I have meeting to attend to .. unless you need me for anything else ?" The man’s eyes glanced amongst the group before turning away and headed off.

Sandra and Kate glanced at one another a fleeting moment of guilt seemed appear in their expressions.

"Oh don’t worry, you’re not in trouble" McGee said calmly "I just need to ask you about some passengers."

"Oh .. oh I see ..." Sandra exhaled in slight relief ..... "which flight .....?"

"That would be your 1130 boarding for 1200 ... " McGee checked as he fumbled through his notes "Oh yes ... from this gate actually"

"Oh ... yeah .... that was an odd one ..." frowned Kate ..."Didn’t you think so Sandy ?" she said turning to her colleague, almost as if she was deflecting the question away.

"Oh sure .... few passengers .... big plane .... doesn’t happen very often .... its like someone had block booked the flight and was a no show" Sandra piped up.

"Do you remember these two people." McGee produced his tablet, the grainy image of the blond and the bald headed man.

"Oh yes ..... they arrived after the few other passengers we had were already on board....." Sandra said casually.

"Did they say anything, or do anything out of the ordinary......I need you both to ....focus ....concentrate" McGee hovered his pen over his notepad.

"Well ....." Kate started.



Ch 7 - Boarding Party

Sandra and Kate glanced nervously behind them, the plain white A380 seemed enormous, it filled the view of the glass wall of the terminal building.

"This cant be it, surely ?" Sandra queried "That plane can hold hundreds, we’ve got barely a dozen people on board ...."

"But the two that count ......they’re not here ......something is wrong ....what do we do ...." Kate said quietly.
"We do as we are told ......its nearly over ....." Sandra’s hands shook nervously as she stacked and bound the retained ticket stubs with an elastic band.

"I think that’s them ......" Kate sounded relieved.

The bald man guided the blond, one powerful hand resting on the woman’s shoulder.
"Ill get the cases" ... Sandra knelt down behind the desk and using a key opened a storage locker. Inside was a metallic grey briefcase, locked, and she drew it out.

Kate held out her hand and the bald headed man paused and handed two passports to her and their tickets. He then placed his large hands on the shoulders of the blond who stood in front of him.

"You are Kate , yes ?" the bald headed man asked.

Kate nodded nervously in reply as she glanced at the names on the tickets and photos in the passports. It was merely an act though, she had gone over the plan many times, she already knew the faces, the names, but nothing more. The blond seemed upset, her eyes misty, one of her cheeks red.

"You will help me ......" The bald headed man said firmly, snatching Kate’s attention away from the blond ....."And you will stay at your station" he said to Sandra as she passed him the briefcases. Sandra nodded nervously, her eyes averted.

"When will ....." Kate began.

"SOON .....now come .....YOU first" The bald man said gruffly to the blond.

The blond reluctantly led the trio past the desk past the large double doors to the airbridge, the long metal corridor that connected to the plane. The group made it to the corner and just as they made the turn towards the aircraft the bald man ordered "STOP".
The blond looked on towards the aircraft, still 30 meters away, the large cabin door was swung open, she could just make out a crew member hovering nearby. The bald man crouched down and produced a key and unlocked the metal cases.

"STRIP" ordered the man, glancing to the blond.

"Hey wait ....." Kate started but the bald man glared at her and she fell silent.

The blond drew down her tracksuit pants and stepped out then began to kick off her sneakers and socks. Finally she removed her top and left it in a heap with the rest of her clothes. The blond , save for her hands and from the neck up were encased in the green transparent latex. Only the slightly white coloured dots of the punishing ceramic discs obscured the blonds flesh.

Little pockets of sweat had formed over the blonds skin, trapped against her body. The man rose from the floor a thin metal strip a few feet long and a few inches wide with two attached handcuffs in one hand a power tool in the other.

The blond trembled ..... "Who ..... who else is on the plane ?"

Kate glanced at the plane, the blond, the bald man, but no words came out.

"Her waist ....." said the bald man ignoring the blond.

Kate wrapped the metal strip around the blonds narrow waist, she noted how one end had a mechanism on it, she fed the free end though and held it in place loosely. The bald man placed the power tool against the mechanism and squeezed its trigger. The belt inched together slowly, slowly, the belt settling on the blonds narrowest point. The bald man closed the blonds wrists inside the cuffs, now firmly anchored to her sides.

Next came a clear collar, three bands of steel cables were threaded through it to a single mechanism which the bald man closed with the tool. The blond winced as the mix of rubber and steel began to clutch her neck. The bald man then opened the second case and pulled out a pair of clear boots.

"Help her ..."

The bald man grasped the blonds foot and guided it into the clear knee length rubber boot while Kate helped the blond stay up. The hard uneven plastic soles were painful and the blond was reluctant to put any weight down. Then he did the same with the other leg. The soles were hard and had an uncomfortable ridged surface, it was like walking on LEGO.

The bald man applied the power tool to the upper rim of the boot, tightening a cable in a mechanism that closed the boot above her muscular calves. He then moved moved down and tightened the cable that pulled the boot tight against the top of her ankle and her heel against the sole. The last cables cut across the line where her toes joined her foot. The blond bent at the knees as she tried to carefully stand up, slowly retaking her weight from the reluctant Kate who lightly supported the blond by her arms. The bald man returned the power tool to its case, stuffed the discarded tracksuit socks and trainers into the other and picked them up.

"Please ..... why are you doing this .....you’re making a mistake ......" the blond glanced between the man and woman.

McGee’s pen scribbled a few notes ......"So .. you collected their ticket stubs, checked the passports then they boarded, and that’s it ?"
Kate and Brenda glanced at one another ..... "yeah that’s about it" Brenda shrugged.

"Uh huh" nodded Kate.

McGee slapped his notebook closed......."OK ... thank you ladies ... I think I’m about done here."


Ch 8 Trust And Verify

McGee settled back into his car seat, glanced around the airport car park then flipped open a mobile phone. He begun to manually dial a number only glancing up as a plane roared into the sky from a nearby runway.

"Broker ?"

"Is it done ?" replied a woman’s voice.

McGee’s eyes fluttered a moment, he could see the memories of the women circling in his mind.

"Yes .... I’ve got their memories now and implanted the new ones .they wont remember anything.... and its just as well....some of them couldn’t act innocent for toffee...." McGee said calmly.

"That’s why I have you tidy up. Very well, I will make the payment to them shortly" said the voice.

"Incidentally .... what did you tell them about the target ?" McGee queried.

"Well I suppose it doesn’t matter now ...." said the female voice "I told them she was a dangerous child murdering mutant and she was being secretly renditioned ...."

"Hmmm ... yes ..... your friends seemed quite compliant in helping us, the behaviour of Lisa seems the most troubling though..is she really worthy?" McGee said as he felt the sensations of the stolen memories wash over him.

"Interesting girl ..." the woman said "..kinky to the core and hidden within a good cop ..... until she was set up that is..she’s worthy......but enough about them, they are merely pawns."

"Talking of pawns .....how is our Super friend doing ?" asked McGee

"Oh she’s singing like a canary ..... and as for the cat ....." the woman’s voice let the idea hang in the airwaves.

"I see ..... I hope I have done the right thing in helping you, Broker ...." McGee said with a slight hint of concern in his voice.

"You know, the life of a pawn is full of hazards, in its path lie many dangers, but you know what happens when a pawn makes it to the other end of the board Agent McGee, and I am very very good at Chess ....... now goodbye.....and enjoy your reward"

"Yes, Broker" McGee replied.

BEEP. McGee flipped the phone closed, started the car and drove away.



Ch 9 - Reward

Janet walked with purpose to the locker storage area of the airport, a key in one hand, a mobile phone in the other. She glanced down at the text message repeatedly, her eyes misting as quickly as she could wipe them clear.

"I have information about your ex husband and your son. Go to Lost Property and ask for the Key with the yellow miniature tennis ball fob, tell them you lost it at the Cafe Bar at Arrivals Hall 2. Go to consignment lockers in Terminal 2, number 181. Get your son back!"

Janet stormed up through the locker room , key in hand, the little mini tennis ball dangled from a chain.

Row 51 to 100 ........... Row 101 to 150 ........ Row 151 to 200 .....Janet turned into the row. Some lockers hung open, their keys stabbed into their locks, waiting for a new owner to push a coin into the slot to release them.
Janet planted her feet in front of locker 181 took a deep breath, inserted the key, turned it and pulled open the door. Inside was a bright red plastic A4 folder. She reached in and drew it out and popped open the front and peered in.

Photos ..... photos ..... her son ...his school... her Ex .his new job.......a map ........an address.......a pristine copy of a custody order ..... court orders and warrants.

"That’s where the bastard has been hiding ...." Janet murmured as her face turned to joy even though tears began to run down her face.

Then Janet flinched as she heard the voice of someone in the row of lockers behind her.

"GOTCHA!! ...... Damn you ...... motherfu ....." yelled a jubilant voice.

Janet frowned and peered around the corner, still clutching her red folder over her chest.

"YES !" .. exclaimed the voice.

Janet turned the corner and saw another woman, leaning back against one set of lockers, an open bright red plastic folder held in the palm of one hand. She was dressed like the people that work in the security area. Her free hand flipped through a collection of photos and some CDs. The locker in front of her was swung open, its key with a dangling plastic green apple fob still in the lock.


"Good news too?" Janet asked meekly.

"Yes, good news ....actually fucking great news ....." replied the stranger not breaking her glance from the photos in front of her.

"Oh .. ok .......... good" Janet said quietly as she turned away.

"Thanks ......" replied the woman glancing up at Janet, just momentarily catching a glimpse of her as she went out of sight.The second woman glanced down at the folder and splayed out paper then realised something.

"Too ? .......Hey .... wait a moment ...." she said, snapping her folder closed.

The End
Last edited by Abductorenmadrid 7 years ago, edited 3 times in total.
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DrDominator9
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I find this an interesting concept overall and I especially like the way they restrained SG. I even liked the way she was hustled onto the plane. Yet I was left with wanting more somehow. But despite that I felt it was a worthwhile read. What's next? Is there a follow up story where she reaches her destination or is this a one-timer?
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Abductorenmadrid
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Hi DrDominator

thank you so much for your feedback. I wrote this as a kind of "feeler" to see if people would like my stye or not and its kind of designed so it could stand on its own or get fleshed out (before and after) this story is set if people wanted more . Like I said, I wrote a much darker "pilot" for LindaD/PGLinda but I dont think it would go down well here, however if she is happy for me to share that episode with a broader audience perhaps I could trial it on you rather than the forum? If I understand correctly you have contributed to places like Wizards Lair too?

As to what I would like to do next, if its worthwhile, is work with the plane scene next. I tend to conjure up scenarios that are short duration, but high density, if you know what I mean, and I think the plane trip provides that environment. I just cant work on a big arc, I just get bogged down or my writing and ideas gets thinned out, its hard to explain.

AEM
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In terms of writing and style, I think you're right on it - it all reads very well and I really like the details you use to enrich the scenes. I'm also definitely interested in where this story is going - or coming from, for that matter - and I'd certainly read any attempts you make to tell more of this story. Equally, I think whatever you have up your sleeve in terms of an origin story is well worth posting up - if you are worried that the content is too dark then you can always post it in the dungeon. Personally my appetite is much more wet for how we got here than it is for where we go from here. It looks a lot like the heroine's defeat has already happened and she's mid-way through a long fall from grace - the fall doesn't mean as much to me if I don't see the start, but that's just me.

The actual content of this story is tricky to judge. I feel like its a prologue to the story rather than the actual story itself, so it feels incomplete. Its desperately in need of clarity, but then I get that you're doing that to entice people's interests - which I think you succeed in doing - so I would say its a very good teaser/prologue to a story, but its not so good as a standalone story. But again, I like you're writing, and I'd love to see the broader story that this one hints at.

Welcome to the forum!
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Abductorenmadrid
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Void

many thanks for your interest in my short story. I understand entirely your constructive criticism and think we both can see this effort for what it is, a sort of cross section of a journey, I guess its a bit like leading off with Star Wars IV! I know I have taken some liberties by dumping the reader into the thick of things, but I think Ive given the audience credit for being capable of inventing their own "place holder" explanation of how things got to where they are until they learn more. In the end Im just trying to paint this as it appears in my mind, like it was a film which is more "Nolan" style, not "Burton" and hopefully hit as many of the right buttons as I can for as many people as I can.
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tmon
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Story was fine but I wish you had showed SG's capture. And if you wanted to do something harder that's what Heroine Dungeon Stories conference is for.
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Abductorenmadrid
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tmon

thanks for your input, I understand that the capture can be important to some people, as are the consequences to others. I hope any future work I do comes to your expectations.

Regarding the "Dungeon" stuff, I think I may have missed something as I was under the impression that the "Stories" in general were expected to avoid certain tortures and the language of the forum kind of made out that the "Dungeon" was for older archived stories, its only now Ive noticed that the Dungeon may actually be for harder content, my mistake.

My problem is that my "Origin" story was something I gifted to someone who hasnt really made any use of it and so Im currently just asking if I can post it here instead.

AEM
My avatar courtesy of https://www.deviantart.com/sleepy-comics

My current story is Supergirl V Bane


This is all the stuff I've done here but don't tell anyone about this!
tmon
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AEM I've loved your art for years and the only thing that would stop me from enjoying your stories is if you killed the superheroine. Almost anything else works.
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Abductorenmadrid
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Hi tmon,

Im sorry but any lmplied link between my name and an artist is coincidental.

In terms of my writing - I published a non SH work called "Melinda's Humiliation" a long time ago on BDSM library , I then did the untitled SG story / pilot with The Broker which is on the cusp of being released AND I have an unpublished sprawling epic which I really need to get under control at some point (Ive been dabbing at it for years and I need to get it closed off once and for all !!) Its that unfinished story which has convinced me to do shorter scene style stuff rather than one epic story, hence the SG&The Broker: The Get-Away !!


Ive no plans to kill superheroines in my stories nor inflict injury severe gory injuries but I hope that I can push at the line of "discomfort", you might say.

AEM
My avatar courtesy of https://www.deviantart.com/sleepy-comics

My current story is Supergirl V Bane


This is all the stuff I've done here but don't tell anyone about this!
Damselbinder

This was a very interesting one. Supergirl's peril and distress is really intense - I absolutely buy how dismayed she is, especially by the receptionist lady turning out to be in on her kidnapping. It had this very oppressive feel, and made her seem really and truly helpless. It was kinda exciting just how well they'd planned it all, and how helpless the lovely blonde was in their grasp.

The bondage was really interesting, and kinda fascinating! I think the over-the-top restraints for powerful superheroines work really, really well because at one time it emphasises how powerful they are to NEED such restraints, and at the same time it shows how weak and helpless they are in their captivity, because it's clear their captors were READY for them. Good stuff!
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Abductorenmadrid
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Damselbinder wrote:
5 years ago
This was a very interesting one. Supergirl's peril and distress is really intense - I absolutely buy how dismayed she is, especially by the receptionist lady turning out to be in on her kidnapping. It had this very oppressive feel, and made her seem really and truly helpless. It was kinda exciting just how well they'd planned it all, and how helpless the lovely blonde was in their grasp.

The bondage was really interesting, and kinda fascinating! I think the over-the-top restraints for powerful superheroines work really, really well because at one time it emphasises how powerful they are to NEED such restraints, and at the same time it shows how weak and helpless they are in their captivity, because it's clear their captors were READY for them. Good stuff!
Wow - The Get-Away is a blast from the past. I don't know what drew you to this story but thanks for reading. If you liked this taster and want to know where this plane ride goes the story follows on in "Seeds of Deception" ... If you stick with it you will meet some characters that go on and flourish ... but pay attention because one minor character in Seeds is seriously going to bite the good guys in the ass later ..... but who could it be! :D
My avatar courtesy of https://www.deviantart.com/sleepy-comics

My current story is Supergirl V Bane


This is all the stuff I've done here but don't tell anyone about this!
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