Vanessa Kensington 3: "Cold Finger"

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Vanessa Kensington 3: "Cold Finger"

[In case you missed the previous installments, Vanessa Kensington is a British secret agent -- yes, the character played by the gorgeous Elizabeth Hurley in the movie "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery". Like the movie, the story is intended as a comedy. It also has more sexual content than usual for my stories.]

Chapter 1 -- London, England

Inside the exclusive Mayfair Country Club, a very stout man wearing a shirt and tie, a yellow cardigan, a soft cap and knickerbockers was waiting patiently while a thin man counted out money. "There you are, Cold Finger," the thin man grumbled as he handed it over. "Five hundred pounds."

"It seems I am too good for you," the porky man said, smugly accepting his winnings. "Anyone else wish to play a round?" The stodgy, middle-aged members of the club avoided his eye, studiously disappearing behind newspapers. Cold Finger only beamed more broadly. "No one?

"I'll play," said an arrogant female voice.

The newspapers ruffled in outrage. A WOMAN? The men of the club looked around with protests on their lips, but fell silent when they saw her. She was a beautiful girl, her heart-shaped face framed with long brunette hair. A white sleeveless knit top clung like a second skin to the supple curves of her youthful breasts, showing a faint hint of nipple, and below that a VERY short plaid miniskirt flirted around her trim waist. Somewhere a saxophone began playing a seductive solo.

"My name is Kensington," the girl said. "Vanessa Kensington." The men's mouths dropped open, practically drooling as their eyes following the seductive sway of her legs. She undulated across the floor and set down a long, thin carrying case.

"My dear," Cold Finger laughed, "this is a sporting club for MEN. We do not play for matchbooks--"

"Will this do?" the alluring girl smirked, jiggling the bracelet of blue opals on her wrist with one particularly large and striking specimen in the centre.

"My goodness!" the stout man gulped, his piggy eyes bulging. "Where did you get it?"

Vanessa smiled. He was hooked, all right! The stunning British agent recalled her briefing that morning by Basil Exposition, the head of M.O.D. Ulrik Finklestein, alias "Cold Finger", owner of a kosher luncheon meat empire, had recently been buying a lot of blue opals. Her mission was to get close enough to plant a tracking device on him so that she could follow him to his headquarters and find out why.

"Oh, I picked it up somewhere," Vanessa said carelessly, cocking her shapely hips. "Do we have a game?"

"For the bracelet? I'll stake the cash equivalent!"

"Er... well..." Vanessa stumbled, momentarily unsure. Basil had given her the bracelet in order to get Cold Finger's attention, not to wager it! It was worth 5,722 pounds and 40 pence! He had made her sign a receipt for it! "Um... Certainly! I'll just get my club."

The staid middle-aged men all leaned forward in their armchairs, staring at Vanessa's sassy miniskirted tail as she took her long, thin case to a table and opened it.

Inside the case was a golf putter. Vanessa quietly adjusted her ear piece and whispered savagely, "This gadget of yours had better work, Q!" According to Basil, Cold Finger had a passion for miniature golf. The putter was equipped with a nuclear subsonic vibration unit, guaranteed by the M.O.D. tech department to put the ball anywhere you wanted it. Q himself would operate it from a discreet distance using a remote control unit.

Taking the putter from its case, Vanessa spun around, making her plaid miniskirt swirl tantalizingly around her hips. The watching club men sucked in their breath. "Shall we get started?" she said brightly.

As they all went outdoors to the minigolf course, Cold Finger introduced his stoical Korean bodyguard, Odd Knob. He was build solidly, like a wardrobe, but dressed in baggy jeans, an oversized T-shirt that read, "S'up Dawg?" and a visored cap, turned at a jaunty angle. Curiously, Vanessa couldn't see anything odd about the shape of his head. She couldn't help wondering: why he was called Odd Knob?

"Ladies first," Cold Finger said, swinging his putter casually.

"Delighted," Vanessa smiled as she haughtily walked up to the first hole, her long legs whispering like silk. As she squatted down to place her ball on the tee, all the stuffy gentlemen from the club crowded behind her for a closer look. Doing her best to ignore them, Vanessa grasped the ribbed grip of her putter with both hands as she bent over to line up her shot. Her miniskirt hiked up slightly, giving all the men, including Q, a tantalizing glimpse of white lace on her perfectly round little booty.

A whine of feedback went off in Vanessa's ear piece so suddenly that she nearly jumped out of her pants. Her putter clipped the side of the ball, shooting it clumsily down the green to carom off the rails four times and back to the tee without coming anywhere near the cup. Vanessa blushed sheepishly. "Heh-heh. Just a practise shot..."

"Sorry, Miss Kensington," said Q's voice in her ear piece, clearing his throat. "Little trouble with my... er... equipment. Ready now."

Vanessa rolled her eyes. Placing the ball back on the tee, she prepared for her second stroke. Q, moving to the back of the crowd, clicked the button on his remote unit and swung it slightly. Vanessa felt the putter vibrate, tapping the ball and driving it straight as a ruler into the cup! With an arrogant smirk, the girl strolled over and picked up her ball.

Thanks to Q and his gadget, Vanessa made perfect bank shots every time. Cold Finger's and her scores were neck and neck. As they approached the final hole, the villain was nervously stroking his putter. Odd Knob was watching her suspiciously.

The final hole was a tricky one with a windmill. Cold Finger went first and sank the putt in only two strokes. Vanessa would have to do the same or lose the game and the bracelet.

As the gorgeous superagent tried to time her shot to pass through the turning blades of the windmill, suddenly her putter jumped upright in her hands. Vanessa struggled to hold it down, but the shaft was vibrating wildly. Looking frantically for Q, she saw the techmeister several yards away by some azalea bushes, distractedly waving the control rod at an insect which was buzzing around his head.

Unable to get Q's attention, all Vanessa could do was try to wrestle the club under control. Desperate, she resorted to clenching the cool steel shaft in between her knees! The putter instantly sprang upright against the beautiful spy's cleft and continued to vibrate, its rigid, vulcanized rubber grip rubbing the fabric of her panties back and forth over her shaved slit. "OOOH!" she exclaimed, thinking: Wrong hole, Q!

Cold Finger and the other men of the club were gawking. "J-j-just a bit of an itch," Vanessa stammered weakly, struggling to hold the club with both hands as it throbbed enticingly against her muff, stirring up all sorts of feminine emotions. "B-be with you in a... mmmmmmmm moment..."

By the azaleas, a nest of wasps was attacking Q. Unaware of Vanessa's problem, he ducked and dodged, wildly waving the control unit and causing the golf club to hump itself more and more urgently against the sexy spy's tender snatch. Pretty soon the creamy skin of her inner thighs was feeling moist and clammy, her nipples rising up like bullets against the front of her shirt. Her panties were wet, her pulses hot with arousal as a pleasurable tingling sensation began to creep up her spine.

"Mmmmmm!" Vanessa moaned, delicately running her tongue over her parted lips as the handle of her putter vibrated against her juicy cooz. The subsonic vibrations were driving her crazy, massaging her sensitive love button and sending chills across her skin. "Ooooooohhhhh harder," she muttered. "Please... mama mia give it to me harder baby.... harder..."

The stunning secret agent was dimly aware of men surrounding her, watching her get off, but she was helpless to do anything about it. Knees trembling, her tail began to rise and fall as her hips arched against the rigid shaft in perfect time with its strokes, her orgasm swelling and surging relentlessly like the rising of the tide. All she could do was hold on to the rod and enjoy the ride...

"OHHH!" she gasped suddenly as a rush of ecstasy spread wetly upwards from her quivering womanhood like a tsunami. "YES! GODYES! OHYESSS!!"

At the moment of her climax, the golf club flew from between her trembling legs and accidentally hit the ball on the tee. The ball soared like a missile, deflected off the windmill, arced over the heads of the spectators, ricocheted off the plaster elephant at Hole eight, hit the green and bounced into the cup! Cold Finger stood dumbfounded while the applause of the club men swept over him.

"Whew!" Vanessa sighed dreamily, one hand under her skirt stroking her dripping panties. "Golly... Does that mean I win?"

Cold Finger snapped his putter over his knee and stormed off to the clubhouse.

***

Chapter 2--

After turning over her putter to a soaking wet Q (who had been forced to dive into the lake to escape the wasps), Vanessa wandered out to the parking lot, figuring that now would be the perfect opportunity to slip the GPS tracking unit (cleverly hidden inside a fountain pen) into Cold Finger's car. Unfortunately Odd Knob was standing guard over the villain's purple Rolls Royce with his arms folded across his chest.

Vanessa smiled. With her feminine wiles, seducing one lonely bodyguard should be a piece of cake!

Slowly she walked up to Odd Knob, letting her sassy little miniskirt sway enticingly back and forth against her shapely hips. "That's a very powerful machine," she said, her fingertips timidly stroking the gleaming metal of the car's bonnet. "I'd love to take it out for a spin some day," she added, licking her lips seductively as her sultry eyes slid across the bodyguard's chest and down his baggy jeans. "...And find out how much... horsepower you have under there!"

The Korean stood like a statue, his face as expressionless as stone.

Vanessa moved closer, holding the pen behind her, waiting for her chance to slip it into the car without him seeing. "Why does Cold Finger call you Odd Knob, anyway?" she asked teasingly, struggling valiantly to distract him. "Come on, you can tell me. You can tell Vanessa..."

The Korean only gave her an inscrutable smile.

"MISS KENSINGTON!" scowled Cold Finger, striding down the steps of the clubhouse. Vanessa spun around in alarm, backing into Odd Knob, who grabbed her arms and held her helpless. The sexy agent struggled in vain.

"Do you happen to have a pen on you?" Cold Finger asked, withdrawing a chequebook from his breast pocket.

"Er... um... well..." Vanessa stammered as Odd Knob released her, discovering that by an amazing coincidence she did in fact happen to be holding a pen in her hand! Cold Finger took it and wrote out a cheque. He handed it over to her, but tucked the pen in his sweater.

"Miss Kensington," the villain said testily, "many people have tried unsuccessfully to involve themselves with my affairs. Odd Knob..." He pointed to his head, then to the plaster bust of Lord Nelson on top of a plinth several yards away.

With a sinister smile, the Korean bodyguard removed his visored cap, took careful aim, and flicked his wrist. The cap flew over the lawn, the offset of the visor imparting a corkscrew motion that made it wobble in flight like a one-legged ballerina. It missed the bust of Lord Nelson by a good three feet, circled behind it like a boomerang toward the similarly positioned statue of Venus on the opposite side of the path, where it landed on that statue's upturned left hand.

Vanessa blinked. "Well, that was certainly--"

With shattering BOOM! the cap exploded taking the statue's entire left arm with it.

Vanessa gulped, frozen with horror as fragments of plaster rained around her.

"Good day, Miss Kensington," Cold Finger said, tipping his hat as he climbed into the back seat of the Rolls Royce. With an odd smirk on his face, Odd Knob got into the drivers seat.

Vanessa slowly came out of her trance, her eyes focusing at the amount on the cheque she was still holding. It was for 5,720 pounds. "Hey! You still owe me 2 pounds 40!" she shouted, but the car had already driven away.

Running quickly across the parking lot, Vanessa jumped into her red Aston Martin and clicked on the car's tracking screen. The GPS unit was working perfectly. On the round screen she could see the blinking light that represented Cold Finger's Rolls Royce making its stately way out of London.

Vanessa followed several miles behind him as he drove southward across England and through the Chunnel. All day long she drove through France, taking strategic breaks for food and petrol and in truth beginning to feel a bit bored. Nightfall found her threading her way along a dark, winding mountain road in the teeth of an approaching thunderstorm. The blinking light on her tracking screen was moving very slowly now, which hopefully indicated that her quarry was stopping somewhere for the night. She was feeling a bit tired and ready for bed.

One thing for sure, Vanessa thought with a smirk -- if she ran into trouble, her Aston Martin supercar could handle anything! Momentarily taking her eyes off the road, the gorgeous female agent reached across to the centre console, her fingers playing lightly over the switches that controlled the twin lasers mounted behind the headlamps, and the rocket pod, oil slick and smoke screens in the rear. With a nod of satisfaction, she glanced up into the rear-view mirror.

"Holy Crumpets!" Vanessa gasped, wide-eyed with horror. "My makeup is a disaster!" With her left hand, she fumbled for her compact to touch up her lipstick and rouge, then to pluck her eyebrows a bit. She had to let go of the wheel to rummage in her purse for mascara.

Suddenly two small glowing lights appeared dead ahead in the middle of the road! "SHIT!" Vanessa squeaked, hauling on the steering wheel. The Aston Martin gracefully spun around in a full circle, narrowly missing a rabbit, which blinked and wondered what the fuss was.

The sports car went off the road and thumped to a halt with its front end dangling over a sheer drop. Trying to reverse, Vanessa wrenched at the stick shift and accidentally hit the EJECT button. PFOOF! With a deep hiss, explosive charges in the seat hurled the beautiful superspy skyward, screaming. Her plaid miniskirt, ripped free by the force of her flight, fluttered to the ground as Vanessa herself landed gracelessly in the branches of a nearby oak tree. The Aston Martin, deprived of its driver, toppled head first down the embankment.

"Oh this is just wonderful!" Vanessa grumbled, struggling to climb down out of the tree with rough branches snagging her clothes and poking her body in quite unexpected places. By the time she reached the ground, her knit top was reduced to tatters, hardy up to the task of covering her nubile young breasts.

The storm was gathering quickly. Lightning was flashing in the clouds and the smell of rain was in the air. She was stranded in nothing but her underwear. "NOW what am I going to do?" the girl moaned.
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LOVE IT!
:yahoo: :thumbup:
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chapter 3 --

Fortunately Vanessa's suitcase had been thrown clear. Taking off the remains of her clothing, she got dressed in her sexy black spandex cat suit that zipped up the front. Pulling on wedge-heeled boots, the beautiful spy buckled her weapons belt around her wide hips. With her Heckler and Koch VP-70 low on her right hip, her Sykes-Fairbairn commando knife on her left, and various Q Branch gadgets on the belt, she felt ready for anything!

The forest was completely dark, but she could see the lights of a house through the trees. As a misty rain began to fall, Vanessa took off jogging in that direction.

The house turned out to be an old Gothic mansion, perched atop a terrace of rough stone. Only a few windows were showing lights. Back lit by lightning flashes, it looked sinister, like something out of a horror movie.

Still, beggars couldn't be choosers. Vanessa tossed a climbing line up onto the terrace and swarmed up the wall like a spider, enjoying the way her black body suit clung to all of her tight, feminine curves. using her commando knife to jemmy open a set of French doors, the sexy spy slipped into the dining room like a shadow. Just in time, as the rain began pouring down in earnest once she was indoors.

It was pretty dark inside the dining room. Working her way by feel, Vanessa found her way into a long hallway. Sounds attracted her attention to a big ventilator grille. Pressing her shell-like ear against the cool mesh, Vanessa could hear echoing male voices. They seemed to be having an argument, but she couldn't quite make out any words apart from what sounded like "Operation Grand Slam".

Creeping along the hallway as silently as a cat, the sexy spy arrived at a foyer with a wide staircase going up. Vanessa froze. She could just make out male voices coming from the closed door just on the other side of the stairs.

"The purpose of our two previous encounters is now clear to me," one man was saying. "I do not intend to be distracted by a third. Good-bye."

"You're forgetting one thing," a second man said. "If I don't report, 008 replaces me."

"I trust that he will be more successful."

OH NO! Vanessa thought. Another British agent was trapped in there, about to be killed! Without hesitation, the alluring girl agent drew her Heckler and Koch, kicked open the door, and burst through to the rescue, crossing the room in a graceful rolling dive that brought her sleek, spandex-clad body into a shooters crouch, her gun aimed at the source of the voices.

Except that unfortunately about halfway through her roll, the stunning spy tripped over a small ottoman. Her right boot skidded out from under her, sending Vanessa tumbling over the pouf and falling flat on her face with the breath knocked out of her, her gun skittering off a few yards. Vanessa sheepishly retrieved her pistol and awkwardly scrambled into a crouching position, her beautiful chest heaving from the excitement and exertion.

The pregnant silence that followed her less-than-dramatic entrance was broken by a quiet male voice. "Well hello, miss! Where did you come from?"

Vanessa found herself in a living room. A wide-screen, high definition television set was displaying an old movie with a villain gloating over a man strapped to a table. Sitting on a sofa watching the program and drinking a cup of tea was an extremely attractive man with long golden blonde hair, wearing chartreuse silk pajama bottoms and a matching robe, and who was now staring avidly at Vanessa.

Following his gaze, the female superspy noticed that the zipper on the front of her skin tight cat suit had slipped down almost to her navel, leaving a generous amount of her two gorgeous round boobs exposed. Blushing, Vanessa zipped it up again to about mid chest. "Er...." she said, slowly standing up to full height. "I apologize for bursting in on you like this. My name is Kensington. My automobile... er... met with an accident..." she added lamely, gesturing vaguely with her pistol.

"Stranded? On a night like this?" the man said happily, setting down his teacup and turning off the telly. As he came over to her, his loose robe fell open, exposing a virile bare chest and killer abs. He was wearing pajama bottoms but not tops. "I'm the caretaker of this house, Harry Hardcock."

"Hardc-c-c...?" Vanessa echoed weakly as the man's strong arms slipped around her trim, sylph-like waist, firmly taking the gun out of her hand and slipping it back into her holster.

"Now, let's get you out of these wet clothes!" the man said, as his hands continued to explore, touching the girl's shoulders, her smooth arms, wandering downward along her shapely curves encased in her slinky, rain-soaked cat suit, to ever so gently caress her round little butt.

"I s-suppose you're wondering why I'm dressed like this," Vanessa said nervously. "It's really simple to explain..."

"I hadn't given it a thought," Harry said, grinning. "I cannot tell you how lonely it gets puttering about this big house, all my myself."

"A-a-all by yourself?" Vanessa stuttered, a surge of warmth welling up inside her at the touch of his masculine body. She broke eye contact and looked shyly down. The zipper on the front of her cat suit had somehow slid down once more, giving the man an enticing bird's eye view of her sweet young breasts. Color tinging her cheeks with feminine embarrassment, Vanessa zipped it up again.

"I really must call someone," she said, "about getting my car out of that ravine." A sudden crash of thunder made her jump, as lightning flashes lit up the windows. The sound of rain beating down on the roof grew louder.

"I can't let you go out in this storm, Miss Kensington," Harry said, smiling like the cat that ate the canary as he steered the secret agent toward the staircase. "But I'm sure we can take care of you tonight. Come this way..."

He escorted Vanessa upstairs to an empty bedroom. Crossing swiftly to the dresser, he opened a drawer and took out a skimpy red silk pajama top and laid it on the bed. "Towels are in the bathroom," he said, smiling as another thought seemed to strike him. "How about a cup of tea? I'll just go and attend to it while you get out of those wet clothes." Without waiting for an answer, he breezed out through the heavy oak door and closed it behind him.

***

chapter 4 --


Vanessa quickly turned the lock and breathed a sigh of relief. All of her training as a spy told her not to trust this situation. She would need to be careful. Fortunately in her weapons belt were pills she could take for protection, a universal antidote against most knock-out and date rape drugs.

Her host was right about her clothes, though. And after the day she had had, a hot shower would be nice. She could contact London later on.

Unbuckling her weapon belt, Vanessa dropped it onto the bed. Next she removed the opal bracelet and set it on the dresser, taking a quick, disparaging look at the state of her makeup in the mirror. After removing her wedge-heeled boots, she unzipped her cat suit all the way, peeling the clingy skin tight spandex from her soft shoulders. "Ooooohhhh!" Vanessa moaned as she cupped her hands under her perky breasts, bobbing free and unrestrained, giving them a firm squeeze as her fingers caressed her hard little nipples...

A hissing noise like an intake of breath came from somewhere in the room.

Vanessa frowned, her brown eyes searching. She was all alone, apart from a portrait of some creepy old Victorian gentleman. The eyes were very life-like, and actually seemed to follow her. After a moment with no further noise, the sexy secret agent shrugged. Must be mice. These old houses were full of mice.

Turning her back to the portrait, Vanessa pushed the cat suit over her wide hips and stooped over as she worked the tight garment gradually down her lissome legs, briefly sitting on the bed while she pulled it over her trim ankles. She stood up to take off her knickers, bending over so that her luscious round rear end jutted out proudly behind her as she slid them down. Stepping out of her skimpy nylon undies, the sexy spy let her hands glide back upwards along her silken stems and in between her creamy thighs, massaging the supple mound of her womanhood.

"Ohhhhh that's the spot," she sighed as her fingers pushed apart her smooth shaved pussy lips and found her g-spot. "Mmmmmmmm..." Closing her eyes, Vanessa shuddered with emotion, long legs quivering as she stroked herself toward a heart-stopping climax...

Another hissing noise came from the direction of the portrait, accompanied by a dull thud this time, as if someone were banging his head against a two by four.

Vanessa straightened up quickly. "Mice!" she muttered. Leaving her clothes where they lay, she picked up the pajama top and padded to the bathroom. A moment later came the sound of the shower being turned on, and a deep sigh of satisfaction as the sexy female agent stepped under the stream of water.

In the empty bedroom, the portrait creaked open. Odd Knob stepped from secret room where he had been watching Vanessa undress, a huge grin plastered all over his face as he crossed to the dresser and picked up the opal bracelet.

Ten minutes later, Vanessa turned off the shower. Groping for a towel, she wrapped the terrycloth around her supple nude body, patting herself dry as she returned to the bedroom.

Harry Hardcock was waiting there for her.

"OH!" Vanessa gasped, clutching at her towel. The man was the caretaker, after all, so naturally he would own passkeys! Quickly she glanced around the room and noticed with slight alarm that both her cat suit and her weapons belt were missing!

"Your tea," Hardcock said, indicating a small tray on the night table.

Even without weapons, Vanessa was confident that with her martial arts training she could handle one man. Still holding the towel wrapped tightly around her moist body, she perched cautiously on the bed, curling one exquisite leg underneath her. She picked up the teacup and nervously took a big gulp. It was Earl Grey, nice and strong, with just a hint of lemon.

"Oh that's lovely!" she sighed as the caffeine hit her. "I can't tell you how much I needed that!"

"You looked as if you had had a bad day," the man said, sitting lightly on the edge of the bed beside her.

"You say you're the caretaker?" she asked conversationally, taking another sip of tea. "Who owns the house? Is he here now?"

"The owner has been away on business," Hardcock replied, reaching behind the beautiful brunette to caress her smooth bare shoulders. "But don't worry about that! Relax! Close your eyes..." His strong fingers began to massage Vanessa's naked shoulders, gently kneading her neck muscles and sending shivers of pleasure rippling across her silky skin. "That's it..."

"Oooh that feels nice..." the sexy spy moaned, closing her eyes with rapture as the tension eased from her body. She felt herself almost floating. It was a sore temptation to simply give in to the ministrations of those wonderful digits and let him do whatever he wanted with her, but Vanessa brought herself up sharply. Discipline! She had to keep her mind on the mission!

Certainly it was a good thing that Q Branch had devised those universal antidote pills. It was just unfortunate that she had forgotten to take one.

Hardcock casually reached out to take the teacup as Vanessa went limp and gracefully sagged against the bedclothes, sleeping like a baby. Setting the cup aside, he took hold of Vanessa's slim ankles and rolled her over, repositioning her body facing up in a spread eagled posture with her long legs splayed out. Then he whisked the towel away to expose the girl's naked, defenseless body in all its sublime glory.

"Come into my parlor," he muttered, staring at Vanessa's snatch, "said the spider to the fly! And such a beautiful fly!"

Hardcock reached forward in between Vanessa's legs, hands skimming along her thighs, around the curve of her hips, until they could wrap around her firm little tits. He squeezed, fingers tightening around those supple globes while his thumbs rubbed her nipples, swelling rapidly under their pressure like hard little bullets.

"Nnnnnn..." A soft groan came from Vanessa's throat as the girl stirred in her drugged sleep, her legs involuntarily parting. And the man took full advantage, dipping two fingers in the sexy spy's shaved pussy, parting the delicate outer folds of her labia and stroking the vulnerable inner regions of her sex. She was already so wet down there he couldn't believe it.

Harry spread his robe and mounted her, thrusting his rigid boner smoothly into the her juicy cooz. Vanessa gasped as she writhed underneath him, helpless to resist as he slid in and out, steadily grinding more and more deeply into her tunnel, her body hot and flushed as he banged her tight little ass into the mattress.

"OHHHH!" Vanessa groaned in her sleep, her body shivering with arousal as he climaxed, pulling out at the last second and shooting his sticky jizm over her belly. "MAMA! P-please... oooooh please don't stop..."

Just then the door opened. "Another plaything, Mr. Hardcock?" said Cold Finger.

Hardcock sat up straight, pulling his robe closed. "Cold Finger! I didn't realize you were back, sir."

The villain stood looking down at the sleeping girl. "Vanessa Kensington of the British Ministry of Defence," he said. "This is too much of a coincidence. Odd Knob! Bring her!"

Hardcock started to protest, but he held his tongue as the big Korean brushed past him, a big smile on his face as he reached for the naked girl.
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Quality product! I loved the TV bit in ch 3, but the whole thing is an absolute treat.
Great work.
How strange are the ways of the gods ...........and how cruel.

I am here to help one and all enjoy this site, so if you have any questions or feel you are being trolled please contact me (Hit the 'CONTACT' little speech bubble below my Avatar).
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Chapter 5 --

Vanessa opened her eyes and sighed. Well here was a familiar situation!

She was in some kind of dungeon. Her slender wrists and ankles were bound with thick leather straps which were holding her horizontal and spread-eagled across a hard metal slab. She was wearing exactly what she had been wearing when she had been knocked out... in other words nothing at all!

"Good evening, Miss Kensington!" Cold Finger, looking down at her. "I trust you enjoyed your little nap?" The pudgy villain leaned closer, piggy eyes ogling her bare boobs while his hand rested on the girl's smooth, naked thigh.

Vanessa tried to play it cool. "Yes, thanks," she said brightly, squirming a little in her bonds, her tail rubbing against the hard metal. "The bed could stand to be a bit softer, though."

"Ha-ha. Very droll," the villain replied. "The British Secret Service displays its traditional wit." His hand was wandering relentlessly upwards along her inner thigh toward her vulnerable cleft.

Vanessa struggled to ignore his impertinent hand as it felt up her lady parts. "I don't know what you-- OOH! You r-r-really DO have cold fingers, don't you?"

Harry Hardcock was across the room with Odd Knob, ostensibly working on some kind of machine, but mostly sneaking looks at her naked bod. The important part of the machine, from Vanessa's point of view, was a big crystal tube mounted in some kind of movable carriage and pointing downward in her direction like a gun barrel. It looked like a giant industrial laser, except that a number of big blue opals were clustered inside the tube.

"Why am I tied up like this?" Vanessa protested, tugging uselessly at the straps. "You're not still sore about losing our minigolf match... heh-heh... are you?"

"Heaven's no, Miss Kensington!" he said cheerfully, as his hand absentmindedly caressed her smooth, shapely torso. "In fact I'm happy to see you. Your blue opal was the finishing touch I needed to complete my Freeze Ray!"

"F-f-freeze Ray?" she repeated as he squeezed her left breast and a chill rippled over her bare skin.

"I love cold, Miss Kensington," the pudgy villain said, kneading her soft little nubbin. "I love its feel, I love its color, its taste, its smell..."

"That doesn't make any sense," Vanessa said. Even faced with death, a certain kind of person couldn't seem to resist being a prissy little know-it-all. "The other stuff maybe, but cold doesn't have a taste."

Cold Finger stepped back. "Twenty-one perfect blue opals," he pontificated, shaking his finger, "splitting the beam of a fluorine-argon-rubidium laser, creating a reverse quantum doubletalk effect which will suck the molecular energy from anything! My Freeze Ray will cause solid concrete to crumble, and turn the hardest steel as brittle as glass! Just imagine what I could do with it!"

Vanessa squirmed with embarrassment under the interested gazes of the three men, her naked ass rubbing up and down nervously against the cold metal slab she was strapped to. "Er... sorry! For some reason I'm drawing a complete blank here."

"Bank vaults!" Cold Finger gloated. "Operation Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am! Imagine taking my Freeze Ray to America, and using it to break through the doors of the gold bullion depository at Fort K'nox!"

"Fort who?"

"K'nox! Fort K'NOX!"

"I think you'll find the 'K' is silent in that..."

"Miss Kensington, you are trying my patience!" Cold Finger said, moving to the controls where his thick fingers began to flick switches. The machine powered up, the business end of the Freeze Ray aiming straight at the helpless girl's heart! "Another thing it can do is instantly turn people who annoy me into flash-frozen icicles!" The end of the barrel began to glow. Vanessa squeaked with horror...

"Wait a minute!" interrupted Hardcock. "I don't want to tell you your business, boss, but you don't want to flash freeze Vanessa! That would be a terrible waste of good nookie! What do you say, Odd Knob? Back me up here!"

The Korean merely grinned his trademark inscrutable grin.

"See? He agrees with me! That's two votes we keep her! You're outvoted, Cold F--"

"He didn't say a word!" Cold Finger protested. "He can't even TALK!"

"He didn't have to," Hardcock retorted, pointing at the bodyguard's crotch. Inside his urban chic baggy jeans, something was poking straight ahead like a tent pole.

"Very well," the villain conceded. "It's against my better judgment, but we'll keep her prisoner until after Operation Wham Bam is concluded."


***

chapter 6 --

Fourteen hours later, Cold Finger's private jet landed at an airfield near Louisville, Kentucky. The door unfolded and the party disembarked. Bringing up the rear was Vanessa Kensington, handcuffed to Odd Knob. In honor of the occasion, the captive spy was dressed in an alluringly tight, shimmering gold fabric minidress with a scooped neckline, and matching high heels.

Stripped of all her weapons and powerless to do anything, the beautiful British agent could only watch helplessly as the Freeze Ray was offloaded onto the back of a big truck. Odd Knob dragged her along put her inside the cab with him. Within moments the truck was joined by a convoy of vehicles, a small army of mercenaries that Cold Finger had recruited to help in the operation.

Harry Hardcock flew ahead in a helicopter, spraying the area with sleep gas. The soldiers on guard around the depository keeled over. "Excellent!" Cold Finger said, removing his gas mask. "We now have sixty minutes to grab as much gold as we can and make our escape. Operation Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am, right on schedule!"

The Freeze Ray having made short work of the steel doors of the building, Cold Finger and his mercenaries poured inside. Odd Knob dragged Vanessa out of the truck and followed. Handcuffed to the big Korean, the slender, 110 pound girl had no choice but to stumble along behind him on her high heels.

The interior of the building was one cavernous chamber going down six levels, with vaults inside each wall secured with steel bars, each vault containing stacks of pure gold ingots. Cold Finger directed the Freeze Ray against two adjacent vaults, turning the bars brittle so that they could be smashed easily. The mercenaries began picking up ingots of gold and carrying them one by one out to their vehicles.

Odd Knob hauled Vanessa over to one of the vaults along the opposite wall. The girl dug in her heels and tried to resist, but it was useless. As the Korean unlocked handcuff from his wrist and clamped it to the bars, she punched and kicked at the brute with all her feminine strength, but it was like hitting a side of beef. Her strongest karate chops made no impression at all.

"This is where we part company, Miss Kensington," Cold Finger said, as his pudgy fingers flicked switches on the Freeze Ray and aimed it at her. "You might give some thought to what pose you want to be caught in when you are flash frozen. You will be that way for a long time!"

"Wait!" Vanessa said, desperately wracking her brain for some kind of plan. "You can't turn me into a flash-frozen icicle!"

"Why not?" said Cold Finger.

"Because... because I wouldn't enjoy it!" the ace secret agent whined, utterly failing to come up with anything.

Odd Knob grinned as he reached underneath the gold skirt of her dress and slapped her on the bottom. Pocketing the key to her handcuffs, he started to walk away.

"NO! PLEASE! I'll do ANYTHING!" Vanessa cried, lunging forward to wrap her free arm around his waist and cling to him. His baggy jeans slipped to his knees, letting his trouser snake spring up to about half mast. The girl gasped. It was truly a heroic appendage, fully eleven inches long, with a very slight bend, a little tattoo of a rubber duck on its bulging head.

"My goodness!" Vanessa sighed, flustered by the very sight of it. "You DO have an odd knob, don't you?"

The alluring girl sank submissively to her knees in front of him, her hand wrapping tightly around the base of his stiff poker. The size and hardness of his throbbing member provoked an answering rush of titillating wetness in between Vanessa's tender thighs as she leaned forward and placed her lips on the side of his penis. Ohhhhh!!! She heard a moan -- was it him or was it her? -- as her ruby lips kissed the skin of his hot shaft all the way down its length, her tongue swirling moistly over its head, back down the other side and up again while her hand moved downward and clutched the velvet skin of his balls, fondling and playing with them.

Odd Knob grunted in satisfaction, grabbing a handful of Vanessa's brunette hair and pulling her closer. Her nipples were hard with arousal against the fabric of her dress, her pussy was so wet and slippery, she couldn't stand it! Squeezing his shaft between her fingers, she pulled his penis between her lips and into her open mouth. She felt the big Korean's hips tense as he thrust forward, holding her head in place with both hands as he fucked her oriface, pumping until an eternity later, with a sudden groan, he spewed a gusher of sticky semen into her open mouth.

"Huhhhhnnn!" Odd Knob grunted as he dragged Vanessa over and laid her face down across a stack of solid gold ingots. With some urgency he lift her gold skirt and yanked off her panties, sliding them down the length of her long legs before tossing them away.

"P-please..." the British spy moaned, lying spread across solid gold. Her left hand still cuffed to the steel bars, she was in no position to resist as the Korean took a firm grip on her soft, round butt cheeks and thrust his huge rod into her dripping slit from behind. "UUUUNNNNNNNNN!" she groaned with ecstasy, toes curling as that iron bar slid in and out as if he were digging for gold, driving her into Nirvana. "OHGODYES! MAMAMAGILLICUDDY!YESSSSS!!!"

"Hooooooraaaaahhhhh!" Odd Knob groaned, as he sprayed his jizm and dropped to his knees.

Cold Finger, watching all this with mounting disdain, scowled while fumbling for the firing switch to the Freeze Ray. "Prepare to die, Miss Kensington!" he grumbled, as he pushed the button!

Out of sheer desperation, Vanessa snatched up Odd Knob's hat, closed her eyes, and threw it. The cap spun through the air, clipped the barrel of the Freeze Ray and knocked it around just as it fired. The stream of intense cold struck Cold Finger before he could get out of the way, flash-freezing the pudgy villain where he stood, with both hands raised in a futile gesture to ward off disaster.

Adding insult to injury, Odd Knob's hat circled back and landed on his head. With a thundering BOOM! the hat exploded, shattering the frozen villain into about a million tiny, icy fragments!

Vanessa sagged against the bars. "My God, he just went to pieces, didn't he?"

After taking a few moments to gather her wits about her, Vanessa heard the sound of machine gun fire. Digging the keys out of Odd Knob's trouser pocket, she unlocked her handcuffs and hurried outside, with the huge Korean following behind her like a very big puppy dog.

Out by the vehicles, the mercenaries were standing with their hands up, which was understandable since they were surrounded by about a thousand American soldiers with guns! Right in front was a man Vanessa recognized as Flix Blighter, senior officer in the American CIA!

"Vanessa Kensington!" he called amiably. "I might have known you'd be on top of this situation!"

"Or on bottom, as the case may be," she added quietly, still thinking of how she had gotten nailed on top of the bed of gold. Speaking of bottoms, Odd Knob kept lifting up the back of her skirt, feeling for her round little bare caboose. She sternly slapped his wrist to make him stop. "What's up, Flix?"

"We got a message early this morning from Langley," the CIA agent explained. "Microwave net picked up the call sign of a British agent crossing the three mile limit. I knew it had to be one of your Q Branch emergency transmitters."

"Oh, of course," Vanessa said, her cheeks flushing delicately. That would be the earpiece she was still wearing, but had forgotten all about!

Blighter continued, "We couldn't get an exact frequency fix, so we just waited until the badguys struck and rushed in reinforcements."

"Naturally, Flix!" Vanessa said. "Sorry I wasn't in any position... stop that, Odd Knob!... to send you more specific information."

"Not a problem, Vanessa. I'm sure you were tied up."

"I was a little bit... Odd Knob, I'm warning you!... Let's just say I was on ice."


THE END
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tallyho
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:w00t: Great little yarn! Op Whan Bam Thank You Ma'am was an inspired choice!

Absolutely loved it - great balance of humour and terrificparody plus a hint of sexual peril all executed perfectly!

Some of your best work - short, sharp and funny, beautifully written.

Great stuff!
:yahoo: :thumbup:
How strange are the ways of the gods ...........and how cruel.

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Centurion
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You're too kind, my friend.
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