My first Script

[WonderKenna]

So, some of you know I am partnered up in a Superheroine store on C4S. Well instead of just being an actress in this newest clip, I wrote the script. I really hope that my take on an intense superheroine in peril story appeals to my fans and hopefully earns me some new ones. Here is the story version (not the script with each line)

Feedback is welcome, gentle truthfulness appreciated

The Huntress has made her way through the sentries in the woods surrounding the Doom Militia's secret base. Her sources have confirmed that the infamous General has made her Head Quarters there. She carefully makes her way to the upper levels where she is ambushed, At first she has the upper hand, but one of the super-soldiers gets a rag over her mouth and she drops limp and helpless.

She is stripped down to her nylons in preparation for an interrogation and the DM grunt takes his time enjoying himself as he does it.

The effects of the rag did more than subdue the Huntress, they made her will weaker and as the interrogator shows her each horrible device she screams in terror and fear as her mind does far worse to her than any torturer's skill could ever do. Over and over she collapses in the chair only to be revived and the next round of psychosomatic torture begin worse than the previous.

It seems like this will be the end of the Huntress, 3 days has passed and even the glimpse of what she has gone through is enough to have finished anyone.

Suddenly the door crashes open and her interrogator flies through the air as Wunder Woman follows and puts him down for good. The Amazonian rescuer snaps Huntress's bindings and they are about to make their escape when an armed DM trooper blocks the door. Wunder Woman is about to make short work of him when she is BETRAYED!!!

Now it is Wunder Woman who is stripped and interrogated while in another room a hogtied Huntress struggles against her bindings and with the shame of her betrayal.

Wunder Woman is not so easily broken as the Huntress and defiance glows in her eyes as the interrogation begins, but the effects of the substance used to subdue her still wrack her with psychosomatic induced terror and agony. Each time she is revived she defies the interrogator, but each time it is with less and less strength.

One day runs into the next with interrogators working in shifts, never letting Wunder Woman rest. And still she hangs on by a thread. She seems so close to breaking but just won't fully give in. The DM decides to use a different approach and secures a super-powered orgasm apparatus to her. They are certain that the sudden change from fear and agony to orgasmic pleasure will break her. Wunder Woman know's she should struggle against it, but anything is a relief from what the DM has been putting her through, She tries to hold off on actually having a full orgasm though, the small fire inside her not willing to fully surrender. Intensity of the orgasm she is fighting and days and days of exhaustion take there toll and Wunder Woman shudders and then is completely still. Very Still. Is she even breathing?

Meanwhile, so much attention has been given to breaking the warrior princess that the DM has neglected the Huntress, without daily dosing of the subdual agent the superheroine is regaining her strength and more importantly her fighting spirit. She struggles harder than ever and it looks like she may get free.

Will she be in time to save her would be rescuer? Will she be able to be redeemed?

[Centurion]

This doesn't read so much as a story as just a synopsis of a story. I mean, it probably makes a great video, but just reading it is kind of dull. We need details.

[WonderKenna]

You are right. I had to act everything out to explain to everyone else what I saw in my mind. I am really good with analytical writing but descriptive writing doesn't really flow for me.

[dravatar]

I concur with Centurion, this synopsizing of the story or a rough outline is always a good place to start. If acting the story out is how you write, then write what you act.

I have other thoughts and suggestions as well as a primer for writing superheroine erotica. PM me if you are interested.

[tallyho]

Hi Kenna, I don't want to seem negative ,as the more people post stories the better, but when I read this I thought you had posted your release notice in the wrong place, as it just reads as a precis for your film. If you are writing it as a story you need to flesh out the elements of it ; if you say she is betrayed and captured, well how, by whom? You need to give the reader a fighting chance of at least working something out if you don't tell them.
I don't mean that to sound harsh but this is really a draft of a story idea. And that's fine you can post those here too it all helps form ideas and generates discussions. I hope you are able to express what you want to get across and continue to post a finished (more complete) version when you are done and I look forward to reading it

[flagonforge]

the pix are smokin hot - would love to see this.

[WonderKenna]

Hi Kenna, I don't want to seem negative ,as the more people post stories the better, but when I read this I thought you had posted your release notice in the wrong place, as it just reads as a precis for your film. If you are writing it as a story you need to flesh out the elements of it ; if you say she is betrayed and captured, well how, by whom? You need to give the reader a fighting chance of at least working something out if you don't tell them.
I don't mean that to sound harsh but this is really a draft of a story idea. And that's fine you can post those here too it all helps form ideas and generates discussions. I hope you are able to express what you want to get across and continue to post a finished (more complete) version when you are done and I look forward to reading it

You are definitely right. I am actually going to watch the video a segment at a time, describe each scene, think about how our characters were feeling at the moment and see if it comes out in reverse. Like doing it then writing it. I realize that there isn't much dialogue, it is more emotional, the music, facial expressions, screams and sobs etc tell the story, not what the characters say. I know that SIP usually has heroic and dramatic dialogue but in this case I think I really like how the video came out. I think writing dialogue is a totally separate challenge.

[WonderKenna]

the pix are smokin hot - would love to see this.

Thank you. It's on my site superheroinsecretshame.com (well part mine, if the videos that I star in and or write do well I think I am going to do one with more SIP and less explicit sex

[tallyho]

You are definitely right. I am actually going to watch the video a segment at a time, describe each scene, think about how our characters were feeling at the moment and see if it comes out in reverse. Like doing it then writing it. I realize that there isn't much dialogue, it is more emotional, the music, facial expressions, screams and sobs etc tell the story, not what the characters say. I know that SIP usually has heroic and dramatic dialogue but in this case I think I really like how the video came out. I think writing dialogue is a totally separate challenge.

I look forward to the finished story as you have a unique advantage in that you are describing events and emotions that you have witnessed/lived through so you have a great perspective. Don't lose sight of the fact that you are talking about writing a story, so it doesnt matter if there isn't much dialogue in the film, you can add /invent your own for the purposes of this part of the forum. You are obviously a beautiful, intelligent business woman and I have nothing but respect for you and your fellow producers for the work you do , so I really look forward to seeing what you come up with. And there is nothing wrong with posting a story summary for discussion here, so please don't be put off by any of my comments, post what you are happy to share, I'm interested in the end result.

[Centurion]

I can only echo what Tallyho just said. We men have the disadvantage that we can only imagine how a female character might feel. If you actually acted in the video, you have a unique perspective that we don't!

[WonderKenna]

I can only echo what Tallyho just said. We men have the disadvantage that we can only imagine how a female character might feel. If you actually acted in the video, you have a unique perspective that we don't!

I re-wrote the story based on the experience. I am polishing it but also working on new scripts, I wrote "Doppleganger" specifically for me and Kendra James and I really like how it came out

[tallyho]

That's great news, look forward to the finished story.