The Ultimate Superheroines Forum

lordgriffin wrote:Hello Emperor:

Well you solicited a reply.....

To start with, I am not seeing a plot. While I like your premise, you have not fleshed out your world. The characters are all female, making me wonder if males or even animals exist in this world at all. I have my own prejudices and kinks, and I am prob over critical by pointing out most authors use lesbianism as plot device that keeps them safe from the criticizem of misogyny or the uncomfortable question of pregnancy, and to me generally comes off as contrived. If you really want to bring out a lesbian relationship, I think you should spend more time developing WHY that person, or goddess, opted for this lifestyle.

lordgriffin wrote:Hello Emperor:

Well you solicited a reply, and I admire that, and as I have said to you privately, I applaud anyone who gets out here, and puts down on (ostensibly) paper a story that speaks to them. I see a lot of potential in your writing, but I also see impatiens.

To start with, I am not seeing a plot. While I like your premise, you have not fleshed out your world. The characters are all female, making me wonder if males or even animals exist in this world at all. I have my own prejudices and kinks, and I am prob over critical by pointing out most authors use lesbianism as plot device that keeps them safe from the criticizem of misogyny or the uncomfortable question of pregnancy, and to me generally comes off as contrived. If you really want to bring out a lesbian relationship, I think you should spend more time developing WHY that person, or goddess, opted for this lifestyle.

This story was rushed. a goddess suddenly appears, selects 2 women and makes them her lover/followers under the auspices of making them super heroines. Why? why these two and why against their will when there are plenty of women out there willing to jump at the chance. Ok Even if you say these 2 women stumbled upon the "trapped Goddess's" temple to free her, is the Goddess an antagonist? or a protagonist?

I want to know more about these characters and their motivations beyond an animistic sexual drive. Sex is a great deal of fun, but realistically when you have a naked "slave" in your house, you end up with, at best, 2 or 3 romps a day, after which the newness wears off and you begin looking for something deeper...(Or, if your that callous, you just toss her in a box till your naturally horny again, then haul her out, use her as an object and put her back)

I think if you determine where you want to go with the story and start fleshing out the characters, and their motivations more, you will be quite a popular writer

Sir Lord,

I thank you for your reply. With due respect, the comic book stories, as I have mentioned before in my previous comic book stories, are only primers for more extended stories. I do very much acknowledge that a man and life's reality needs to be in the stories; and there was a man [and in the future,more men counterparts] in my comic book stories[i.e. the Ugandan Warlock Father(the father of the Electro-Sorceress(the youngest of his three(3) illegitimate daughters; in previous comic book stories that I partially[or fully completed]).

Secondly(and I do not mean this as an insult to you, honestly), I have a life beyond this awesome comic book super heroine website, which is the only website that I am a member of; AND IS SO SO #1. When I do get the motivation and time, I do return to the site and complete my work. I thank you for your input. You have a great and safe week .

Emperor(Adm.) & (Gen.) Omar Electro-Magneticus

Abductorenmadrid wrote:

lordgriffin wrote:Hello Emperor:

Well you solicited a reply.....

To start with, I am not seeing a plot. While I like your premise, you have not fleshed out your world. The characters are all female, making me wonder if males or even animals exist in this world at all. I have my own prejudices and kinks, and I am prob over critical by pointing out most authors use lesbianism as plot device that keeps them safe from the criticizem of misogyny or the uncomfortable question of pregnancy, and to me generally comes off as contrived. If you really want to bring out a lesbian relationship, I think you should spend more time developing WHY that person, or goddess, opted for this lifestyle.

LG - if I had known you do reviews at request I would have asked you ages ago. One issue I might have though is that I too have stories that feature F/F relationships. I think I would take a little offence if it was implied that as a writer I was dodging various issues involved with pregnancy or something by writing those sorts of relationships. For one thing I just like women alot and would rather them, rather than male characters, were rattling around my head when writing my adventures, not that my stories are male free. I do have a second position on this particular aspect but it would be too long to put here, if you would like to know it we can discuss in PM.

My last point is that why should a writer have to create a justification for a female character wanting to pursue a lesbian relationship? Sexuality is inherent in us, its not usually an "option" which one we choose, we just "are". I don't expect writers to give a backstory as to why Mr Manhunk McMusclehead "opted" to act hetero when he makes a move on Princess Lovelybuns so why does any other orientation require justification? Just a few thoughts.

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

Abductorenmadrid wrote:

lordgriffin wrote:Hello Emperor:

Well you solicited a reply.....

To start with, I am not seeing a plot. While I like your premise, you have not fleshed out your world. The characters are all female, making me wonder if males or even animals exist in this world at all. I have my own prejudices and kinks, and I am prob over critical by pointing out most authors use lesbianism as plot device that keeps them safe from the criticizem of misogyny or the uncomfortable question of pregnancy, and to me generally comes off as contrived. If you really want to bring out a lesbian relationship, I think you should spend more time developing WHY that person, or goddess, opted for this lifestyle.

LG - if I had known you do reviews at request I would have asked you ages ago. One issue I might have though is that I too have stories that feature F/F relationships. I think I would take a little offence if it was implied that as a writer I was dodging various issues involved with pregnancy or something by writing those sorts of relationships. For one thing I just like women alot and would rather them, rather than male characters, were rattling around my head when writing my adventures, not that my stories are male free. I do have a second position on this particular aspect but it would be too long to put here, if you would like to know it we can discuss in PM.

My last point is that why should a writer have to create a justification for a female character wanting to pursue a lesbian relationship? Sexuality is inherent in us, its not usually an "option" which one we choose, we just "are". I don't expect writers to give a backstory as to why Mr Manhunk McMusclehead "opted" to act hetero when he makes a move on Princess Lovelybuns so why does any other orientation require justification? Just a few thoughts.

I thank you for your reply. I do appreciate it; but I do have a male[& future males] in my comic book stories[ Please check out my posts when you have the time; for I am sure that you have other important things to tend to]. I do thank you again; and you have a great and safe week.

Emperor(Adm.) & (Gen.) Omar Electro-Magneticus

P.S. No, I DID NOT RUSH MY COMPLETION OF THIS COMIC BOOK STORY.

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

Abductorenmadrid wrote:

lordgriffin wrote:Hello Emperor:

Well you solicited a reply.....

To start with, I am not seeing a plot. While I like your premise, you have not fleshed out your world. The characters are all female, making me wonder if males or even animals exist in this world at all. I have my own prejudices and kinks, and I am prob over critical by pointing out most authors use lesbianism as plot device that keeps them safe from the criticizem of misogyny or the uncomfortable question of pregnancy, and to me generally comes off as contrived. If you really want to bring out a lesbian relationship, I think you should spend more time developing WHY that person, or goddess, opted for this lifestyle.

LG - if I had known you do reviews at request I would have asked you ages ago. One issue I might have though is that I too have stories that feature F/F relationships. I think I would take a little offence if it was implied that as a writer I was dodging various issues involved with pregnancy or something by writing those sorts of relationships. For one thing I just like women alot and would rather them, rather than male characters, were rattling around my head when writing my adventures, not that my stories are male free. I do have a second position on this particular aspect but it would be too long to put here, if you would like to know it we can discuss in PM.

My last point is that why should a writer have to create a justification for a female character wanting to pursue a lesbian relationship? Sexuality is inherent in us, its not usually an "option" which one we choose, we just "are". I don't expect writers to give a backstory as to why Mr Manhunk McMusclehead "opted" to act hetero when he makes a move on Princess Lovelybuns so why does any other orientation require justification? Just a few thoughts.

I thank you for your reply. I do appreciate it; but I do have a male[& future males] in my comic book stories[ Please check out my posts when you have the time; for I am sure that you have other important things to tend to]. I do thank you again; and you have a great and safe week.

Emperor(Adm.) & (Gen.) Omar Electro-Magneticus

P.S. No, I DID NOT RUSH MY COMPLETION OF THIS COMIC BOOK STORY.

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

Abductorenmadrid wrote:

lordgriffin wrote:Hello Emperor:

Well you solicited a reply.....

To start with, I am not seeing a plot. While I like your premise, you have not fleshed out your world. The characters are all female, making me wonder if males or even animals exist in this world at all. I have my own prejudices and kinks, and I am prob over critical by pointing out most authors use lesbianism as plot device that keeps them safe from the criticizem of misogyny or the uncomfortable question of pregnancy, and to me generally comes off as contrived. If you really want to bring out a lesbian relationship, I think you should spend more time developing WHY that person, or goddess, opted for this lifestyle.

LG - if I had known you do reviews at request I would have asked you ages ago. One issue I might have though is that I too have stories that feature F/F relationships. I think I would take a little offence if it was implied that as a writer I was dodging various issues involved with pregnancy or something by writing those sorts of relationships. For one thing I just like women alot and would rather them, rather than male characters, were rattling around my head when writing my adventures, not that my stories are male free. I do have a second position on this particular aspect but it would be too long to put here, if you would like to know it we can discuss in PM.

My last point is that why should a writer have to create a justification for a female character wanting to pursue a lesbian relationship? Sexuality is inherent in us, its not usually an "option" which one we choose, we just "are". I don't expect writers to give a backstory as to why Mr Manhunk McMusclehead "opted" to act hetero when he makes a move on Princess Lovelybuns so why does any other orientation require justification? Just a few thoughts.

I thank you for your reply. I do appreciate it; but I do have a male[& future males] in my comic book stories[ Please check out my posts when you have the time; for I am sure that you have other important things to tend to]. I do thank you again; and you have a great and safe week.

Emperor(Adm.) & (Gen.) Omar Electro-Magneticus

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

Abductorenmadrid wrote:

lordgriffin wrote:Hello Emperor:

Well you solicited a reply.....

To start with, I am not seeing a plot. While I like your premise, you have not fleshed out your world. The characters are all female, making me wonder if males or even animals exist in this world at all. I have my own prejudices and kinks, and I am prob over critical by pointing out most authors use lesbianism as plot device that keeps them safe from the criticizem of misogyny or the uncomfortable question of pregnancy, and to me generally comes off as contrived. If you really want to bring out a lesbian relationship, I think you should spend more time developing WHY that person, or goddess, opted for this lifestyle.

LG - if I had known you do reviews at request I would have asked you ages ago. One issue I might have though is that I too have stories that feature F/F relationships. I think I would take a little offence if it was implied that as a writer I was dodging various issues involved with pregnancy or something by writing those sorts of relationships. For one thing I just like women alot and would rather them, rather than male characters, were rattling around my head when writing my adventures, not that my stories are male free. I do have a second position on this particular aspect but it would be too long to put here, if you would like to know it we can discuss in PM.

My last point is that why should a writer have to create a justification for a female character wanting to pursue a lesbian relationship? Sexuality is inherent in us, its not usually an "option" which one we choose, we just "are". I don't expect writers to give a backstory as to why Mr Manhunk McMusclehead "opted" to act hetero when he makes a move on Princess Lovelybuns so why does any other orientation require justification? Just a few thoughts.

I thank you for your reply. I do appreciate it; but I do have a male[& future males] in my comic book stories[ Please check out my posts when you have the time; for I am sure that you have other important things to tend to]. I do thank you again; and you have a great and safe week.

Emperor(Adm.) & (Gen.) Omar Electro-Magneticus

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

lordgriffin wrote:Hello Emperor:

Well you solicited a reply, and I admire that, and as I have said to you privately, I applaud anyone who gets out here, and puts down on (ostensibly) paper a story that speaks to them. I see a lot of potential in your writing, but I also see impatiens.

To start with, I am not seeing a plot. While I like your premise, you have not fleshed out your world. The characters are all female, making me wonder if males or even animals exist in this world at all. I have my own prejudices and kinks, and I am prob over critical by pointing out most authors use lesbianism as plot device that keeps them safe from the criticizem of misogyny or the uncomfortable question of pregnancy, and to me generally comes off as contrived. If you really want to bring out a lesbian relationship, I think you should spend more time developing WHY that person, or goddess, opted for this lifestyle.

This story was rushed. a goddess suddenly appears, selects 2 women and makes them her lover/followers under the auspices of making them super heroines. Why? why these two and why against their will when there are plenty of women out there willing to jump at the chance. Ok Even if you say these 2 women stumbled upon the "trapped Goddess's" temple to free her, is the Goddess an antagonist? or a protagonist?

I want to know more about these characters and their motivations beyond an animistic sexual drive. Sex is a great deal of fun, but realistically when you have a naked "slave" in your house, you end up with, at best, 2 or 3 romps a day, after which the newness wears off and you begin looking for something deeper...(Or, if your that callous, you just toss her in a box till your naturally horny again, then haul her out, use her as an object and put her back)

I think if you determine where you want to go with the story and start fleshing out the characters, and their motivations more, you will be quite a popular writer

Sir Lord,

I thank you for your reply. With due respect, the comic book stories, as I have mentioned before in my previous comic book stories, are only primers for more extended stories. I do very much acknowledge that a man and life's reality needs to be in the stories; and there was a man [and in the future,more men counterparts] in my comic book stories[i.e. the Ugandan Warlock Father(the father of the Electro-Sorceress(the youngest of his three(3) illegitimate daughters; in previous comic book stories that I partially[or fully completed]).

Secondly(and I do not mean this as an insult to you, honestly), I have a life beyond this awesome comic book super heroine website, which is the only website that I am a member of; AND IS SO SO #1. When I do get the motivation and time, I do return to the site and complete my work. I thank you for your input. You have a great and safe week .

Emperor(Adm.) & (Gen.) Omar Electro-Magneticus

P.S. No, I DID NOT RUSH MYSELF IN COMPLETING THIS COMIC BOOK STORY.

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus wrote:

lordgriffin wrote:Hello Emperor:

Well you solicited a reply, and I admire that, and as I have said to you privately, I applaud anyone who gets out here, and puts down on (ostensibly) paper a story that speaks to them. I see a lot of potential in your writing, but I also see impatiens.

To start with, I am not seeing a plot. While I like your premise, you have not fleshed out your world. The characters are all female, making me wonder if males or even animals exist in this world at all. I have my own prejudices and kinks, and I am prob over critical by pointing out most authors use lesbianism as plot device that keeps them safe from the criticizem of misogyny or the uncomfortable question of pregnancy, and to me generally comes off as contrived. If you really want to bring out a lesbian relationship, I think you should spend more time developing WHY that person, or goddess, opted for this lifestyle.

This story was rushed. a goddess suddenly appears, selects 2 women and makes them her lover/followers under the auspices of making them super heroines. Why? why these two and why against their will when there are plenty of women out there willing to jump at the chance. Ok Even if you say these 2 women stumbled upon the "trapped Goddess's" temple to free her, is the Goddess an antagonist? or a protagonist?

I want to know more about these characters and their motivations beyond an animistic sexual drive. Sex is a great deal of fun, but realistically when you have a naked "slave" in your house, you end up with, at best, 2 or 3 romps a day, after which the newness wears off and you begin looking for something deeper...(Or, if your that callous, you just toss her in a box till your naturally horny again, then haul her out, use her as an object and put her back)

I think if you determine where you want to go with the story and start fleshing out the characters, and their motivations more, you will be quite a popular writer

Sir Lord,

I thank you for your reply. With due respect, the comic book stories, as I have mentioned before in my previous comic book stories, are only primers for more extended stories. I do very much acknowledge that a man and life's reality needs to be in the stories; and there was a man [and in the future,more men counterparts] in my comic book stories[i.e. the Ugandan Warlock Father(the father of the Electro-Sorceress(the youngest of his three(3) illegitimate daughters; in previous comic book stories that I partially[or fully completed]).

Secondly(and I do not mean this as an insult to you, honestly), I have a life beyond this awesome comic book super heroine website, WHICH IS THE ONLY COMIC BOOK STORY SUPER HEROINE WEBSITE THAT I AM APART OF; FOR I KNOW OF NO OTHER WEBSITE; AND I DO NOT CARE TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER SITE ON SUPER HEROINES; AND IS SO SO #1. When I do get the motivation and time, I do return to the site and complete my work. I thank you for your input. You have a great and safe week .

Emperor(Adm.) & (Gen.) Omar Electro-Magneticus

P.S. No, I DID NOT RUSH MYSELF IN COMPLETING THIS COMIC BOOK STORY.