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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 9:16 am
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The Ultimate Superheroines Forum
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https://www.superheroineforum.com/board_dir/viewtopic.php?t=31132
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Re: Hydrogirl: Soaked and Wet
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 10:52 am
I liked the story and I want the continuation.
Re: Hydrogirl: Soaked and Wet
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 11:11 am
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Re: Hydrogirl: Soaked and Wet
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 6:17 pm
Hi glad to see you are contributing, thank you for posting your story
I haven't read it yet but just some advice.
When you post your own thoughts or requests either before the story or after it I would break it up in some way - either by more line spaces or perhaps graphic lines like ------------------------- or use italics or a different colour or font
So for example your ending of(I add quotation marks just to illustrate my point)
"
And he left. And it would be more than 7 hours...
Stay tuned to find out what will happen to our precious Water heroine next episode...
Suggestions on what to do to her? Put it in the comments!
"
Reads better as
"
And he left. And it would be more than 7 hours...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stay tuned to find out what will happen to our precious Water heroine next episode...
Suggestions on what to do to her? Put it in the comments!
"
OR
"
And he left. And it would be more than 7 hours...
Stay tuned to find out what will happen to our precious Water heroine next episode...
Suggestions on what to do to her? Put it in the comments! "
So there is a definitive ending to the posting (or a start if its at the beginning)
It just reads better as a reader experience rather than having them all flow into one.
My personal preference is italics for when I add my thoughts or opinions but entirely up to you and only a suggestion
I haven't read it yet but just some advice.
When you post your own thoughts or requests either before the story or after it I would break it up in some way - either by more line spaces or perhaps graphic lines like ------------------------- or use italics or a different colour or font
So for example your ending of(I add quotation marks just to illustrate my point)
"
And he left. And it would be more than 7 hours...
Stay tuned to find out what will happen to our precious Water heroine next episode...
Suggestions on what to do to her? Put it in the comments!
"
Reads better as
"
And he left. And it would be more than 7 hours...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stay tuned to find out what will happen to our precious Water heroine next episode...
Suggestions on what to do to her? Put it in the comments!
"
OR
"
And he left. And it would be more than 7 hours...
Stay tuned to find out what will happen to our precious Water heroine next episode...
Suggestions on what to do to her? Put it in the comments! "
So there is a definitive ending to the posting (or a start if its at the beginning)
It just reads better as a reader experience rather than having them all flow into one.
My personal preference is italics for when I add my thoughts or opinions but entirely up to you and only a suggestion
Re: Hydrogirl: Soaked and Wet
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 6:26 pm
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Re: Hydrogirl: Soaked and Wet
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 6:40 pm
MUCH better, yes? 
Dont be afraid to edit and re read your work - I am constantly editing my work for typos etc.
(In that vein you may want to change the BLAST to blasted in the first line)
Re: Hydrogirl: Soaked and Wet
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:40 pm
I was hoping you would have shown off Hydrogirl's powers before the peril started. With an original character it is better to get a glimpse of her abilities before she is taken down.
Otherwise, nice work here. I'm eager to read more!
Otherwise, nice work here. I'm eager to read more!
Re: Hydrogirl: Soaked and Wet
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 9:29 pm
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Re: Hydrogirl Episode 1: Soaked and Wet
Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 3:16 pm
... Poor Hydrogirl! :(
Really good story, though. Haven’t got to the next one yet.
Really good story, though. Haven’t got to the next one yet.