Sealed File: Report of WW Down (Highly Classified)
Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2023 12:52 pm
FROM SEALED POLICE FILES: REPORT OF WW DOWN (Warning: Contents are HIGHLY CLASSIFIED)
The following is a highly-classified, eyewitness report from Officer Jonathan Kerr of Gotham PD, describing an especially traumatic episode that he underwent while pursuing members of the Bertinelli crime family, as formerly led by Franco Bertinelli (now deceased). Officer Kerr has undergone extensive counseling since the events in question before returning as a member of the force in good standing. His experiences teach how our officers can better protect one of our most powerful assets — albeit one who’s more vulnerable than previously understood — and have been preserved for that sole purpose.
Please be advised that the ensuing, highly-classified contents cannot be reviewed or shared by or with anyone, other than authorized personnel who demonstrate need to know. Review or dissemination by anyone without authorization is a criminal offense that can and will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. The events in question are extremely concerning and specifics would, if publicly disclosed or otherwise made available to known or potential perpetrators, compromise this asset’s continuing efforts to combat crime in partnership with us. That noted, discreet but extensive efforts have been made to investigate and corroborate the detailed report of Officer Kerr as to what exactly he and the asset experienced. Officer Kerr’s report, while astonishing, is supported by evidence recovered from the scene including costume fibers, blood samples, weaponry, and a medical examiner’s contemporaneous observations, just before the asset was rescued from the scene and whisked away to a safe location (still undisclosed). Although relevant members of the Bertinelli crime family could not be interrogated (because they all were gunned down while fleeing the scene and attempting to resist arrest), photos recovered from their remaining devices corroborate Officer Kerr’s firsthand report in key respects Those photos are appended to this report but should never see public light given that they are, if anything, even more compromising and more disturbing in what they depict. In light of the investigation and evidence, Officer Kerr’s unedited, unsparing account should be credited as true. Readers should be assured that the lessons we’ve learned from his report continue to inform training modules, protocols, and safeguards, all of which are now in place in order to better protect the asset in question against those who may mean her harm.
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OFFICER JONATHAN KERR’S STATEMENT: I was patrolling downtown when a report came in that the Museum of Antiquities had been robbed in broad daylight by a gang equipped with AK-47s that had forced its way in to steal one and only one of the items on display: Hera’s Necklace, an ornate, well preserved artifact dating back thousands of years and reportedly maintained by the Amazons. Although this item was especially ornate and valuable, it made no sense that it would be the sole target of thieves who’d ignore everything else on display, unless they were especially steeped in Ancient Greek history and mythology. I was on the look-out for a gang matching the description — professionals equipped with heavy artillery and driving in a black van without license plates — when I saw, of all people, Franco Bertinell, the known head of the infamous Bertinelli crime family, and Nico Camiso, Franco’s hulking mass of a bodyguard/enforcer, strolling down the street sipping coffees. They approached a black van that was parked in an alley, and I glimpsed one of their crew fixing a license plates so it would pass muster. After observing them entering the van, I followed from a discreet distance as they drove towards the Warehouse District. Along the way, I called into dispatch to run the license plates, which turned up nothing, and reported that I’d be investigating the vehicle and its occupants for suspicious activity. They ultimately parked in front of a large, well constructed building on Riverside that appeared to house a vast loft space.
The rest of the block was run-down and desolate, but the building itself stood strong and had several vehicles in the parking lot, with the black van at the back of the line. Unable to convince myself that the Bertinelli crew would have any particular interest in branching out into thefts of Greek artifacts, I still thought it was worth a quick look; I parked my cruiser a couple of blocks away and exited so I could investigate on foot. As I approached the black van, I saw nothing suspicious until I got right next to the passenger side and spotted an AK-47 leaning on the seat. Bingo! Just as I was getting ready to call in, however, I heard a click and felt someone’s Glock on the back of my head. A voice said, “Thanks for your concern, Officer, but you picked the wrong time to check on us. We’re expecting someone else and don’t want any distractions.” Another voice said, “Nothing happens here. Let’s take him inside to the Boss.” Strong hands grabbed my handgun, back-up piece, knife, body-cam, and devices, and I then was roughy pushed inside the front door, where I saw a who’s-who of the Bertinelli family standing around, looking anxious, armed to the teeth, bracing for action. They must’ve seen me approaching at least al block away — I could now see that the left side of the open loft space featured screens picking up camera feeds from every nook and cranny of the property. Opposite the front door was a fortified door at the very back, separated by a cavernous expanse in between. Precious little furniture adorned the vast space. The main items I could pick out were two large, round, sturdy, wooden tables that were about half-way back, towards the side of the space opposite the screens; odd rugs surrounded them, dotting the cold and vacant space. This was an ideal staging location for Bertinelli’s troops, and I saw lots of activity and artillery towards the back, including guys positioning themselves near large crates, bearing machine guns and some sort of canisters. Explosives were also part of the mix; I saw detonators and charges here and there. Something big was brewing.
Meanwhile, someone big was intent upon me. Franco Bertinelli himself eyed me with interest and amusement. Franco could be personable when he wanted to be — he was known to be colorful and downright garrulous on the few occasions when we could obtain warrants to bring him in — and he seemed to be in high spirits this particular day. But I also knew him to be deadly, cruel and perfectly happy to kill me whenever doing so suited him. At this moment, his eyes lit up and he smiled. “Officer: We didn’t expect you but we’ll be glad to host you for a little while. If you play your cards right, you may be able to see much more than you ever imagined, something no one gets to see.” I saw that he was holding a spectacular gold necklace of intricate design, adorned with gems, and engraved with what I took to be the face of the Goddess Hera, and I vaguely nodded towards it as what Franco presumably meant. He chuckled, “No, not this. This is just our means towards a much greater end. Our guest of honor will be after this and after us. We chose it precisely because it matters so much to her and her people.” He must’ve seen the perplexity on my face. The only person I could think of would be my salvation — the person I’d wish for as my best hope of rescue. Franco smiled wide. “Any guesses?” I answered him now: “My best guess would be my dream and your nightmare.” Now he laughed in a way that chilled my blood. “Most days you’d be right, bud. Most days, but not today. Today’s the day we turn the tables on a do-gooder who’s been causing us all sorts of troubles, too many troubles, for our operations. We warned her away but she keeps coming after us. Which brings us here,” and he gestured around the room. He saw me struggling to make sense of his rambling. “You WONDER how we’re gonna pull it off” he asked ,with emphasis on the “wonder.” “Because your remaining time with us is short, I’ll tell you: You see, our people know some people who were close to the late Benito Mussolini, may he rest in peace. And old Benito had some close friends in Germany. Just before their luck ran out, they’d developed a plan, a top-secret plan, to take down our costumed beauty. Too bad for them that they never got to use it. But it was a good plan, and we’ve converted their playbook as a hand-me-down” As I listened to him, I could tell he was 100% serious — and also insane. “So your plan was to use the necklace as bait to get Wonder Woman here,” I asked? I could scarcely hide my delight at learning my would-be killers had lined up my rescuer. “Yep, right down to tipping her off with this address,” said Franco. “This inauspicious location will be her Waterloo. She skated through WWII but we’ll be making up for lost time and showing her what Benito and Adolf never had the chance to pull off.” Knowing for certain that Franco had lost his mind, my concern shifted to trying to keep myself alive before Wonder Woman could arrive. More pitter-patter seemed like my best ticket, as Franco seemed eager to share. I asked Franco how much he wanted to bet on the outcome. He scoffed. “You want to bet against a mob boss who’s already told you he fixed the fight? Bud, my bets are far above your pay grade, so how ‘bout we just say that you’re betting your life and I’m betting mine, and we’ll settle up that way.” “You’re on, Franco, and I’ll know to find you here when it comes time to collect … so, anyone got the time?” The guys around us chuckled.
I saw Bruno casting an imposing figure nearby. Up close, he was every bit of 6’10; his sheer mass would intimidate many NFL linebackers, all of it consisting of chiseled muscle. I could now appreciate why guys who’d had scrapes with him came back saying they’d rather fight a gorilla. On this occasion, Bruno was occupied with a baseball bat, taking ferocious practice swings with remarkable precision, speed and power — as though he were on deck for the Yankees. “So is Bruno warming up for spring try-outs?” Franco didn’t miss a beat: “You should know better. He’s already made the team, and he’s batting lead-off for us. Wait’ll you see what he has waiting for your girl. He’ll take the smile right off your face, and the gleam off hers.. Y’see, Bruno’s my version of what the Fuhrer called his Ubermenschen. Not ringing a bell? Bruno will show you what I mean … in due time.” Bruno wasn’t in any mood to talk, but he took a few strides towards me, and I felt the whoosh from his ferocious swings. The prospect of facing off against Bruno and his bat was downright scary, I confess, but I couldn’t foresee it posing any problems for Wonder Woman. The only question in my mind remained whether I’d survive long enough to watch her do her thing. While I was pondering how many breaths I had left in front of this crowd, my silent prayers were answered.
I. THE ENTRANCE
A cry went out from one of the goons watching the screens: “Here she comes!” Even in black and white, she stood out as otherworldly, radiating celestial power combined with impossible beauty. Her glow jumped through the monitors. Her skimpy, form-fitting costume flattered and revealed a generous portion of her breathtaking body. As she approached stealthily towards the back of the building, her steps were graceful, athletic, swift and poised. She moved with incredible speed and tore open the fortified door at the back as though it were mere tape. Had it not been for the cameras, she would’ve been into the building and onto the Bertinellis before they knew what hit them. As it turned out, machine-gunners were standing up behind crates and opening fire as soon as Wonder Woman strode inside; all I could see coming back were brilliant flashes of her bracelets deflecting bullets, which ricocheted back into several gunmen, who fell over howling with pain. She flung two other goons into walls like they were paperweights, and they both slumped. And she hurled a crate with such impressive force and aim that it took out an entire cluster while they were attempting to reload.
Next came a second wave of Bertinelli men, these wearing gas masks and tossing cartridges straight at Wonder Woman. As the cartridges hit the ground, foul gas sprayed out in ghastly clouds that encircled and obscured her. Meanwhile, Franco gestured towards the guy who was still holding a Glock at my head and had him bring me next to Franco: we stood before the front door, staring down the open expanse, as the action unfolded at the far end. I did a double-take as I saw that Franco was wearing Hera’s Necklace around his neck — for the sake of absurdity, taunting, distraction? Bruno stood diagonally across the hallway, still holding his bat, ready to protect his boss. He didn’t seem content with his practice session, for I saw him injecting a syringe into his massive biceps, after which his face flushed red and his veins popped. Traces of the gas were making it tough for me to breathe and burning my eyes, even from a distance, and it crossed my mind that it, too, might be some vestige of WWII. As tough as it was for me to see through the gas clouds, I could just barely make out Wonder Woman as she gasped, coughed, and then stumbled, causing my heart to skip a beat. Before I knew it, though, she took a superhuman breath to draw in the gas and then quickly exhaled it through the back door, thus clearing the noxious fumes. Anger was now written across her brow as she made this wave of attackers feel her wrath. One she slung up into the ceiling; when he fell towards the floor, she caught him and tossed him like a frisbee into a henchmen who’d been drawing his gun but instead toppled. Two others charged her only to have her slam their heads together with a satisfying thud that took them wholly out of the fight. A last goon charged her from behind only for her to pull back her first with perfect timing and knock him senseless. Having cleared the threats, Wonder Woman focused her sights on Franco, me, and the gunman who was poised to blow my head off. She strode towards us with purpose but without hurry and placed her hands on her hips. She picked out Franco and said, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Franco Bertinelli himself. I knew you had the gut, Franco,” here she pointed at his paunch, “but I never thought you’d have the guts.” Franco frowned but I scarcely noticed. The sight of Wonder Woman was commanding my undivided attention.
No depiction I’d ever seen had remotely done her justice — not photos, not videos, not drawings. In person, her magnificence defied description. She was a vision: an idyllic portrait of feminine beauty, power, and poise. Her iconic costume popped with color — red, white, blue and gold accentuating her tanned, glistening skin — and it flaunted her stunning physique, which was toned, curved, sculpted, glorious. Despite having held off assaults and inhaled vile fumes, she still shined in ways that made my jaw drop. Franco, however, was relatively unfazed. He called out to ask if Wonder Woman wanted to see good Officer (and he peered at my name tag for the first time) Kerr fall in the line of duty, thumbing towards the gun at my head. But Franco hadn’t finished speaking before Wonder Woman had hurled her tiara at lightning speed straight into the gun and the hand that held it; the guy behind me yelped in pain as the gun clattered to the floor, where it lay with the tiara. Freed from immediate danger, I still remained agape and frozen. Wonder Woman was coming straight at Franco, fixated on recovering the Necklace, and closing the distance fast. Still, Bruno kept a distance, off to the side. Why wasn’t he closing to protect Franco? Wonder Woman had half covered the distance between her and Franco when I sensed the answer and saw that Franco was now holding a device with a button. For what? Wonder Woman seemed to be asking herself the same question right as Franco was pressing the button. I heard a faint click just as she soared into a gymnast’s springing somersault backwards, then everything gave way to a deafening “BOOM” that shook the entire building, accompanied by a blinding flash.
Next thing I knew I was picking myself off the floor, head spinning. The same goon who’d been guarding me had replaced his gun with a switchblade, which pressed into my throat as I stood to watch on shaky legs. Wonder Woman had fared better, but not by much. The explosives had discharged directly below where she’d been standing and she hadn’t sprung backwards quite in time to escape the immediate blast radius. As my head cleared, I saw that she was down with her costume in tatters; dust and debris were falling from the ceiling and powdering her perfect features and hair. As she lay there, she retched and coughed again — from getting gassed, covered with debris, or both. Even so, she was picking herself up from the floor, dusting herself off, and confidently rising back towards her full grandeur.
II. THE BODYGUARD
That’s when I saw Bruno entering the picture from behind her. He too was moving faster than should’ve been possible, with practiced, purposeful strides and surprising speed. And his bat was swinging down — with its vicious whoosh — just as Wonder Woman was standing up. She sensed it even before I saw it and she managed to raise her left arm in time for her bracelet partially to deflect what would’ve otherwise been a crushing blow. Regardless, the bat came down with jarring force; I heard a distinct crack and saw Wonder Woman’s head bounce sideways from the impact. No sooner had the bat made contact than Bruno started spinning the opposite way — again with speed, agility and practice — and bringing the bat whooshing towards Wonder Woman’s stomach. She didn’t see this one coming and it landed flush. She doubled over, expelling air and crumpling to her knees. Pain flashed across her face while concern flashed across mine. Bruno and his bat weren’t done. He took his time, gathered his stance, pulled the bat back and took the hardest swing I’d seen yet. Still stunned, Wonder Woman was wholly unprotected and a sitting duck when Bruno’s bat connected with the base of her skull. This time I’d felt no whoosh but a terrible thwack echoed loud and clear — aluminum connecting with bone, and connecting hard. To my horror, Wonder Woman toppled to the floor without making a sound. Meanwhile, Franco was looking on like the cat who’d swallowed the canary.
All this had rattled me, of course, but I still couldn’t believe that Wonder Woman might fall to these thugs. They were vicious, practiced, resourceful, but nothing more than that — and they weren’t in the same league as the goddess now before us. Sure enough, I could see that Wonder Woman was recovering herself, after all that she’d been through, and was again picking herself up off the floor, albeit more slowly this time, crawling up to her elbows and knees. Seeing that Bruno had dropped the bat, I wondered what was coming next. The answer came quickly. Bruno reached down and picked Wonder Woman up from behind, lifting her with frightening ease until his arms were fully outstretched and she dangled above his head. Holding her aloft, he walked towards the nearer of the two tables. Falcone was following and so were my babysitter and me. We caught up in time to get a clear view of Bruno throwing Wonder Woman straight into the table. The force was such that she went straight through; the table splintered under her, and she landed with a grunt, laying stunned and dazed.
The rest of the crew, those who could still stand, had all gathered, nursing various injuries, and were spectating from safe distances as Bruno matched up against Wonder Woman, Beast vs. Beauty. My money remained on her as though my life depended on it. But the combination of the gas, the explosion, the battering, and the trip through the table had clearly taken aa toll on her. She still looked magnificent, but she also looked groggy and sluggish, struggling to clear cobwebs and regain her composure. As she climbed back to her feet, Bruno took a pause; he calmly unbuttoned and removed his overshirt to strip down to a black t-shirt and reveal his thick rolls of muscles, which were coiled and popping with veins that carried whatever juice he’d injected. He again towered over Woman Woman as he stalked her from behind. It looked like a mismatch but I comforted myself knowing that his strength would pale next to hers once it came coursing back.
But Bruno wasn’t affording her much time to recover. Now he grabbed her in a reverse bearhug and wrenched her off the ground, with his thick arms curling around her slim torso and his hands locking in a vice-like grip. Bruno was putting every ounce of his awesome strength into that grip and trying to squeeze the air right out of her — sweat was pouring off him, his teeth were clenched, his face was a mask of concentration and strain. Wonder Woman’s eyes went wide as she summoned all of her remaining strength to resist his, fighting his grip and channeling her might to break free from it. Their clash grew increasingly desperate, but even as she gasped for air I could see that Wonder Woman was, at last, rallying. Her power was surpassing Bruno’s, notwithstanding all her bruises and travails, and his grip fell apart as she began to push his arms outwards and up, bit by bit. Unfortunately, Bruno had been consuming every ounce of her attention. Just as the tide was turning, one of the smallest guys — unnoticed to that point — dashed in front of Wonder Woman with the speed and dexterity of a running back, reached towards her waist, and, in a flash, pulled off her golden belt with one artful, fateful motion, then continued running with it towards Franco without breaking stride. He casually tossed the golden belt over to Franco, who caught it with glee and held it high.
The significance of that exchange was lost on me but no one else. Wonder Woman’s face betrayed complete surprise, followed by panic. Franco was grinning wider than ever. The rest of the gang looked like Christmas had arrived early. And Bruno resumed his labors with redoubled confidence. To my disbelief, he again had the better of Wonder Woman — only now they were one-on-one, matching strength against strength, eyes wide open to one another. Bruno’s crushing grip was returning while Wonder Woman’s resistance was dwindling. I saw that he’d regained the upper hand and that his hands had resumed their vice-like clasp around her exquisite form. As he tightened his hold, it became tougher and tougher for her to breathe. She was still trying to break his grasp but she was failing and she was fading fast. Just as his size dwarfed hers, so did his strength at this stage. Inexplicably, he was now overpowering, dominating, manhandling her. For reasons I couldn’t comprehend, the dynamic had shifted: all her struggles were now for naught and Bruno was mauling her at will. I wanted to intervene but the guy beside me now had another gun trained on me and shook his head, muttering “don’t even think about it,” with a wry grin. Things were going from bad to worse at the center of the room. Her costume, already shredded from the explosion, was further fraying where Bruno’s arms were constricting. Whatever remarkable fibers composed it weren’t designed to withstand Bruno’s ever-tightening vice., and strips of her tanned flesh increasingly showed through. Alas, the more her flesh flashed, the more her life force faded. Wonder Woman’s arms now hung feebly at her sides. She seemed to be giving up the fight, or else losing the ability to sustain it. Her legs were writhing in some sorry combination of pain, resistance, desperation. Her head began to loll forward as Bruno took to bouncing her in his arms, in what resembled an odd, one-sided dance. Worst of all, it was becoming all too clear how much Bruno was enjoying his dark, violent, yet intimate dance, along with the feel of his lithe dance partner as her enviable body pressed and rubbed against his. The bulge in his pants was unmistakable as he pulled Wonder Woman tightly into him and leaned her head onto his shoulder. Her eyes fluttered, then closed. Her legs ceased their futile squirming. Her head toppled forward. Wonder Woman hung limp in Bruno’s unyielding grasp, for all to see. She’d been reduced to gorgeous putty in his arms.
The battle was over and Bruno had won, leaving a goddess fallen. You could hear a pin drop. Even Franco was momentarily speechless. I wanted to look away but I stood transfixed alongside everyone else. Guys were taking out their devices and photographing the moment for all posterity. Bruno grasped that Wonder Woman was now his. Lest anyone fail to recognize as much, he flung her up into a shoulder press and lifted her fully aloft, once again outstretching his arms above his head. His buddies in the cheap sheets could now see for themselves that his lofty prey was flopped out cold — eyes shut, hair bedraggled, back arched, limbs askew, costume shredded, chest heaving for the oxygen she’d been denied, ample bosom pressing against her brassiere and threatening to spill over it. While doing a slow twirl to display her that way, Bruno yelled the only words I’d hear from him: a primal, “YEAH, BABY!” It dawned on me that this was the moment of triumph for Franco’s “Ubermenschen,” who’d managed to fulfill a warped vision at the expense of our national treasure.
Once he’d shown off his trophy, Bruno’s complexion changed. He shifted his posture from constricting to cradling, gently lowering Wonder Woman’s unconscious figure so she could lie snugly in the thickness of his arms, He ceased playing the role of brutal antagonist. Instead, he looked like a caring husband cradling his bride as he walked her over the threshold. With newfound tenderness, he carried the humbled Wonder Woman towards Franco. At the end of his stroll, he carefully deposited her onto a rug in front of the broken table and directly in front of Franco, then strode away to applause from the cheering crowd. Wonder Woman now lay flat on her stomach, atop the cheap, dirty, polyester rug, with her beautiful face turned toward the side and her arms curled alongside. She might have been napping peacefully were it not for her labored breathing.
The thugs crowded around for more photos and exchanged giddy high-fives with one another. As for me, my spirit sank as I took stock. This was no longer Franco Bertinelli’s crazed pipe-dream — at Franco’s feet was the cold, brutal reality of Wonder Woman lying utterly spent, broken, vanquished. We all were entranced as she lay there on her stomach, splayed out in abject defeat. I couldn’t help but notice that her failed struggles against Bruno had left her blue briefs and shining stars wedged suggestively between her sculpted glutes, leaving precious little to the imagination. To my shame, I felt a stirring in my loins — and I didn’t dare imagine what the rest of this crowd was thinking as they eyed her exposed, defenseless, alluring rear. For all my faith in our superheroine, I sensed that she wasn’t coming back from this. Their plan had worked like a charm, and they had accomplished the unthinkable. My sole solace was knowing that this nightmare couldn’t last long for me; the stunning upset of Wonder Woman had presumably sealed my death warrant.
The photo session ended as Franco strode into the frame and stood over Wonder Woman’s helpless, unmoving form.
SEALED FILE CONTINUES . . . .
The following is a highly-classified, eyewitness report from Officer Jonathan Kerr of Gotham PD, describing an especially traumatic episode that he underwent while pursuing members of the Bertinelli crime family, as formerly led by Franco Bertinelli (now deceased). Officer Kerr has undergone extensive counseling since the events in question before returning as a member of the force in good standing. His experiences teach how our officers can better protect one of our most powerful assets — albeit one who’s more vulnerable than previously understood — and have been preserved for that sole purpose.
Please be advised that the ensuing, highly-classified contents cannot be reviewed or shared by or with anyone, other than authorized personnel who demonstrate need to know. Review or dissemination by anyone without authorization is a criminal offense that can and will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. The events in question are extremely concerning and specifics would, if publicly disclosed or otherwise made available to known or potential perpetrators, compromise this asset’s continuing efforts to combat crime in partnership with us. That noted, discreet but extensive efforts have been made to investigate and corroborate the detailed report of Officer Kerr as to what exactly he and the asset experienced. Officer Kerr’s report, while astonishing, is supported by evidence recovered from the scene including costume fibers, blood samples, weaponry, and a medical examiner’s contemporaneous observations, just before the asset was rescued from the scene and whisked away to a safe location (still undisclosed). Although relevant members of the Bertinelli crime family could not be interrogated (because they all were gunned down while fleeing the scene and attempting to resist arrest), photos recovered from their remaining devices corroborate Officer Kerr’s firsthand report in key respects Those photos are appended to this report but should never see public light given that they are, if anything, even more compromising and more disturbing in what they depict. In light of the investigation and evidence, Officer Kerr’s unedited, unsparing account should be credited as true. Readers should be assured that the lessons we’ve learned from his report continue to inform training modules, protocols, and safeguards, all of which are now in place in order to better protect the asset in question against those who may mean her harm.
__________________________________________________________________________
OFFICER JONATHAN KERR’S STATEMENT: I was patrolling downtown when a report came in that the Museum of Antiquities had been robbed in broad daylight by a gang equipped with AK-47s that had forced its way in to steal one and only one of the items on display: Hera’s Necklace, an ornate, well preserved artifact dating back thousands of years and reportedly maintained by the Amazons. Although this item was especially ornate and valuable, it made no sense that it would be the sole target of thieves who’d ignore everything else on display, unless they were especially steeped in Ancient Greek history and mythology. I was on the look-out for a gang matching the description — professionals equipped with heavy artillery and driving in a black van without license plates — when I saw, of all people, Franco Bertinell, the known head of the infamous Bertinelli crime family, and Nico Camiso, Franco’s hulking mass of a bodyguard/enforcer, strolling down the street sipping coffees. They approached a black van that was parked in an alley, and I glimpsed one of their crew fixing a license plates so it would pass muster. After observing them entering the van, I followed from a discreet distance as they drove towards the Warehouse District. Along the way, I called into dispatch to run the license plates, which turned up nothing, and reported that I’d be investigating the vehicle and its occupants for suspicious activity. They ultimately parked in front of a large, well constructed building on Riverside that appeared to house a vast loft space.
The rest of the block was run-down and desolate, but the building itself stood strong and had several vehicles in the parking lot, with the black van at the back of the line. Unable to convince myself that the Bertinelli crew would have any particular interest in branching out into thefts of Greek artifacts, I still thought it was worth a quick look; I parked my cruiser a couple of blocks away and exited so I could investigate on foot. As I approached the black van, I saw nothing suspicious until I got right next to the passenger side and spotted an AK-47 leaning on the seat. Bingo! Just as I was getting ready to call in, however, I heard a click and felt someone’s Glock on the back of my head. A voice said, “Thanks for your concern, Officer, but you picked the wrong time to check on us. We’re expecting someone else and don’t want any distractions.” Another voice said, “Nothing happens here. Let’s take him inside to the Boss.” Strong hands grabbed my handgun, back-up piece, knife, body-cam, and devices, and I then was roughy pushed inside the front door, where I saw a who’s-who of the Bertinelli family standing around, looking anxious, armed to the teeth, bracing for action. They must’ve seen me approaching at least al block away — I could now see that the left side of the open loft space featured screens picking up camera feeds from every nook and cranny of the property. Opposite the front door was a fortified door at the very back, separated by a cavernous expanse in between. Precious little furniture adorned the vast space. The main items I could pick out were two large, round, sturdy, wooden tables that were about half-way back, towards the side of the space opposite the screens; odd rugs surrounded them, dotting the cold and vacant space. This was an ideal staging location for Bertinelli’s troops, and I saw lots of activity and artillery towards the back, including guys positioning themselves near large crates, bearing machine guns and some sort of canisters. Explosives were also part of the mix; I saw detonators and charges here and there. Something big was brewing.
Meanwhile, someone big was intent upon me. Franco Bertinelli himself eyed me with interest and amusement. Franco could be personable when he wanted to be — he was known to be colorful and downright garrulous on the few occasions when we could obtain warrants to bring him in — and he seemed to be in high spirits this particular day. But I also knew him to be deadly, cruel and perfectly happy to kill me whenever doing so suited him. At this moment, his eyes lit up and he smiled. “Officer: We didn’t expect you but we’ll be glad to host you for a little while. If you play your cards right, you may be able to see much more than you ever imagined, something no one gets to see.” I saw that he was holding a spectacular gold necklace of intricate design, adorned with gems, and engraved with what I took to be the face of the Goddess Hera, and I vaguely nodded towards it as what Franco presumably meant. He chuckled, “No, not this. This is just our means towards a much greater end. Our guest of honor will be after this and after us. We chose it precisely because it matters so much to her and her people.” He must’ve seen the perplexity on my face. The only person I could think of would be my salvation — the person I’d wish for as my best hope of rescue. Franco smiled wide. “Any guesses?” I answered him now: “My best guess would be my dream and your nightmare.” Now he laughed in a way that chilled my blood. “Most days you’d be right, bud. Most days, but not today. Today’s the day we turn the tables on a do-gooder who’s been causing us all sorts of troubles, too many troubles, for our operations. We warned her away but she keeps coming after us. Which brings us here,” and he gestured around the room. He saw me struggling to make sense of his rambling. “You WONDER how we’re gonna pull it off” he asked ,with emphasis on the “wonder.” “Because your remaining time with us is short, I’ll tell you: You see, our people know some people who were close to the late Benito Mussolini, may he rest in peace. And old Benito had some close friends in Germany. Just before their luck ran out, they’d developed a plan, a top-secret plan, to take down our costumed beauty. Too bad for them that they never got to use it. But it was a good plan, and we’ve converted their playbook as a hand-me-down” As I listened to him, I could tell he was 100% serious — and also insane. “So your plan was to use the necklace as bait to get Wonder Woman here,” I asked? I could scarcely hide my delight at learning my would-be killers had lined up my rescuer. “Yep, right down to tipping her off with this address,” said Franco. “This inauspicious location will be her Waterloo. She skated through WWII but we’ll be making up for lost time and showing her what Benito and Adolf never had the chance to pull off.” Knowing for certain that Franco had lost his mind, my concern shifted to trying to keep myself alive before Wonder Woman could arrive. More pitter-patter seemed like my best ticket, as Franco seemed eager to share. I asked Franco how much he wanted to bet on the outcome. He scoffed. “You want to bet against a mob boss who’s already told you he fixed the fight? Bud, my bets are far above your pay grade, so how ‘bout we just say that you’re betting your life and I’m betting mine, and we’ll settle up that way.” “You’re on, Franco, and I’ll know to find you here when it comes time to collect … so, anyone got the time?” The guys around us chuckled.
I saw Bruno casting an imposing figure nearby. Up close, he was every bit of 6’10; his sheer mass would intimidate many NFL linebackers, all of it consisting of chiseled muscle. I could now appreciate why guys who’d had scrapes with him came back saying they’d rather fight a gorilla. On this occasion, Bruno was occupied with a baseball bat, taking ferocious practice swings with remarkable precision, speed and power — as though he were on deck for the Yankees. “So is Bruno warming up for spring try-outs?” Franco didn’t miss a beat: “You should know better. He’s already made the team, and he’s batting lead-off for us. Wait’ll you see what he has waiting for your girl. He’ll take the smile right off your face, and the gleam off hers.. Y’see, Bruno’s my version of what the Fuhrer called his Ubermenschen. Not ringing a bell? Bruno will show you what I mean … in due time.” Bruno wasn’t in any mood to talk, but he took a few strides towards me, and I felt the whoosh from his ferocious swings. The prospect of facing off against Bruno and his bat was downright scary, I confess, but I couldn’t foresee it posing any problems for Wonder Woman. The only question in my mind remained whether I’d survive long enough to watch her do her thing. While I was pondering how many breaths I had left in front of this crowd, my silent prayers were answered.
I. THE ENTRANCE
A cry went out from one of the goons watching the screens: “Here she comes!” Even in black and white, she stood out as otherworldly, radiating celestial power combined with impossible beauty. Her glow jumped through the monitors. Her skimpy, form-fitting costume flattered and revealed a generous portion of her breathtaking body. As she approached stealthily towards the back of the building, her steps were graceful, athletic, swift and poised. She moved with incredible speed and tore open the fortified door at the back as though it were mere tape. Had it not been for the cameras, she would’ve been into the building and onto the Bertinellis before they knew what hit them. As it turned out, machine-gunners were standing up behind crates and opening fire as soon as Wonder Woman strode inside; all I could see coming back were brilliant flashes of her bracelets deflecting bullets, which ricocheted back into several gunmen, who fell over howling with pain. She flung two other goons into walls like they were paperweights, and they both slumped. And she hurled a crate with such impressive force and aim that it took out an entire cluster while they were attempting to reload.
Next came a second wave of Bertinelli men, these wearing gas masks and tossing cartridges straight at Wonder Woman. As the cartridges hit the ground, foul gas sprayed out in ghastly clouds that encircled and obscured her. Meanwhile, Franco gestured towards the guy who was still holding a Glock at my head and had him bring me next to Franco: we stood before the front door, staring down the open expanse, as the action unfolded at the far end. I did a double-take as I saw that Franco was wearing Hera’s Necklace around his neck — for the sake of absurdity, taunting, distraction? Bruno stood diagonally across the hallway, still holding his bat, ready to protect his boss. He didn’t seem content with his practice session, for I saw him injecting a syringe into his massive biceps, after which his face flushed red and his veins popped. Traces of the gas were making it tough for me to breathe and burning my eyes, even from a distance, and it crossed my mind that it, too, might be some vestige of WWII. As tough as it was for me to see through the gas clouds, I could just barely make out Wonder Woman as she gasped, coughed, and then stumbled, causing my heart to skip a beat. Before I knew it, though, she took a superhuman breath to draw in the gas and then quickly exhaled it through the back door, thus clearing the noxious fumes. Anger was now written across her brow as she made this wave of attackers feel her wrath. One she slung up into the ceiling; when he fell towards the floor, she caught him and tossed him like a frisbee into a henchmen who’d been drawing his gun but instead toppled. Two others charged her only to have her slam their heads together with a satisfying thud that took them wholly out of the fight. A last goon charged her from behind only for her to pull back her first with perfect timing and knock him senseless. Having cleared the threats, Wonder Woman focused her sights on Franco, me, and the gunman who was poised to blow my head off. She strode towards us with purpose but without hurry and placed her hands on her hips. She picked out Franco and said, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Franco Bertinelli himself. I knew you had the gut, Franco,” here she pointed at his paunch, “but I never thought you’d have the guts.” Franco frowned but I scarcely noticed. The sight of Wonder Woman was commanding my undivided attention.
No depiction I’d ever seen had remotely done her justice — not photos, not videos, not drawings. In person, her magnificence defied description. She was a vision: an idyllic portrait of feminine beauty, power, and poise. Her iconic costume popped with color — red, white, blue and gold accentuating her tanned, glistening skin — and it flaunted her stunning physique, which was toned, curved, sculpted, glorious. Despite having held off assaults and inhaled vile fumes, she still shined in ways that made my jaw drop. Franco, however, was relatively unfazed. He called out to ask if Wonder Woman wanted to see good Officer (and he peered at my name tag for the first time) Kerr fall in the line of duty, thumbing towards the gun at my head. But Franco hadn’t finished speaking before Wonder Woman had hurled her tiara at lightning speed straight into the gun and the hand that held it; the guy behind me yelped in pain as the gun clattered to the floor, where it lay with the tiara. Freed from immediate danger, I still remained agape and frozen. Wonder Woman was coming straight at Franco, fixated on recovering the Necklace, and closing the distance fast. Still, Bruno kept a distance, off to the side. Why wasn’t he closing to protect Franco? Wonder Woman had half covered the distance between her and Franco when I sensed the answer and saw that Franco was now holding a device with a button. For what? Wonder Woman seemed to be asking herself the same question right as Franco was pressing the button. I heard a faint click just as she soared into a gymnast’s springing somersault backwards, then everything gave way to a deafening “BOOM” that shook the entire building, accompanied by a blinding flash.
Next thing I knew I was picking myself off the floor, head spinning. The same goon who’d been guarding me had replaced his gun with a switchblade, which pressed into my throat as I stood to watch on shaky legs. Wonder Woman had fared better, but not by much. The explosives had discharged directly below where she’d been standing and she hadn’t sprung backwards quite in time to escape the immediate blast radius. As my head cleared, I saw that she was down with her costume in tatters; dust and debris were falling from the ceiling and powdering her perfect features and hair. As she lay there, she retched and coughed again — from getting gassed, covered with debris, or both. Even so, she was picking herself up from the floor, dusting herself off, and confidently rising back towards her full grandeur.
II. THE BODYGUARD
That’s when I saw Bruno entering the picture from behind her. He too was moving faster than should’ve been possible, with practiced, purposeful strides and surprising speed. And his bat was swinging down — with its vicious whoosh — just as Wonder Woman was standing up. She sensed it even before I saw it and she managed to raise her left arm in time for her bracelet partially to deflect what would’ve otherwise been a crushing blow. Regardless, the bat came down with jarring force; I heard a distinct crack and saw Wonder Woman’s head bounce sideways from the impact. No sooner had the bat made contact than Bruno started spinning the opposite way — again with speed, agility and practice — and bringing the bat whooshing towards Wonder Woman’s stomach. She didn’t see this one coming and it landed flush. She doubled over, expelling air and crumpling to her knees. Pain flashed across her face while concern flashed across mine. Bruno and his bat weren’t done. He took his time, gathered his stance, pulled the bat back and took the hardest swing I’d seen yet. Still stunned, Wonder Woman was wholly unprotected and a sitting duck when Bruno’s bat connected with the base of her skull. This time I’d felt no whoosh but a terrible thwack echoed loud and clear — aluminum connecting with bone, and connecting hard. To my horror, Wonder Woman toppled to the floor without making a sound. Meanwhile, Franco was looking on like the cat who’d swallowed the canary.
All this had rattled me, of course, but I still couldn’t believe that Wonder Woman might fall to these thugs. They were vicious, practiced, resourceful, but nothing more than that — and they weren’t in the same league as the goddess now before us. Sure enough, I could see that Wonder Woman was recovering herself, after all that she’d been through, and was again picking herself up off the floor, albeit more slowly this time, crawling up to her elbows and knees. Seeing that Bruno had dropped the bat, I wondered what was coming next. The answer came quickly. Bruno reached down and picked Wonder Woman up from behind, lifting her with frightening ease until his arms were fully outstretched and she dangled above his head. Holding her aloft, he walked towards the nearer of the two tables. Falcone was following and so were my babysitter and me. We caught up in time to get a clear view of Bruno throwing Wonder Woman straight into the table. The force was such that she went straight through; the table splintered under her, and she landed with a grunt, laying stunned and dazed.
The rest of the crew, those who could still stand, had all gathered, nursing various injuries, and were spectating from safe distances as Bruno matched up against Wonder Woman, Beast vs. Beauty. My money remained on her as though my life depended on it. But the combination of the gas, the explosion, the battering, and the trip through the table had clearly taken aa toll on her. She still looked magnificent, but she also looked groggy and sluggish, struggling to clear cobwebs and regain her composure. As she climbed back to her feet, Bruno took a pause; he calmly unbuttoned and removed his overshirt to strip down to a black t-shirt and reveal his thick rolls of muscles, which were coiled and popping with veins that carried whatever juice he’d injected. He again towered over Woman Woman as he stalked her from behind. It looked like a mismatch but I comforted myself knowing that his strength would pale next to hers once it came coursing back.
But Bruno wasn’t affording her much time to recover. Now he grabbed her in a reverse bearhug and wrenched her off the ground, with his thick arms curling around her slim torso and his hands locking in a vice-like grip. Bruno was putting every ounce of his awesome strength into that grip and trying to squeeze the air right out of her — sweat was pouring off him, his teeth were clenched, his face was a mask of concentration and strain. Wonder Woman’s eyes went wide as she summoned all of her remaining strength to resist his, fighting his grip and channeling her might to break free from it. Their clash grew increasingly desperate, but even as she gasped for air I could see that Wonder Woman was, at last, rallying. Her power was surpassing Bruno’s, notwithstanding all her bruises and travails, and his grip fell apart as she began to push his arms outwards and up, bit by bit. Unfortunately, Bruno had been consuming every ounce of her attention. Just as the tide was turning, one of the smallest guys — unnoticed to that point — dashed in front of Wonder Woman with the speed and dexterity of a running back, reached towards her waist, and, in a flash, pulled off her golden belt with one artful, fateful motion, then continued running with it towards Franco without breaking stride. He casually tossed the golden belt over to Franco, who caught it with glee and held it high.
The significance of that exchange was lost on me but no one else. Wonder Woman’s face betrayed complete surprise, followed by panic. Franco was grinning wider than ever. The rest of the gang looked like Christmas had arrived early. And Bruno resumed his labors with redoubled confidence. To my disbelief, he again had the better of Wonder Woman — only now they were one-on-one, matching strength against strength, eyes wide open to one another. Bruno’s crushing grip was returning while Wonder Woman’s resistance was dwindling. I saw that he’d regained the upper hand and that his hands had resumed their vice-like clasp around her exquisite form. As he tightened his hold, it became tougher and tougher for her to breathe. She was still trying to break his grasp but she was failing and she was fading fast. Just as his size dwarfed hers, so did his strength at this stage. Inexplicably, he was now overpowering, dominating, manhandling her. For reasons I couldn’t comprehend, the dynamic had shifted: all her struggles were now for naught and Bruno was mauling her at will. I wanted to intervene but the guy beside me now had another gun trained on me and shook his head, muttering “don’t even think about it,” with a wry grin. Things were going from bad to worse at the center of the room. Her costume, already shredded from the explosion, was further fraying where Bruno’s arms were constricting. Whatever remarkable fibers composed it weren’t designed to withstand Bruno’s ever-tightening vice., and strips of her tanned flesh increasingly showed through. Alas, the more her flesh flashed, the more her life force faded. Wonder Woman’s arms now hung feebly at her sides. She seemed to be giving up the fight, or else losing the ability to sustain it. Her legs were writhing in some sorry combination of pain, resistance, desperation. Her head began to loll forward as Bruno took to bouncing her in his arms, in what resembled an odd, one-sided dance. Worst of all, it was becoming all too clear how much Bruno was enjoying his dark, violent, yet intimate dance, along with the feel of his lithe dance partner as her enviable body pressed and rubbed against his. The bulge in his pants was unmistakable as he pulled Wonder Woman tightly into him and leaned her head onto his shoulder. Her eyes fluttered, then closed. Her legs ceased their futile squirming. Her head toppled forward. Wonder Woman hung limp in Bruno’s unyielding grasp, for all to see. She’d been reduced to gorgeous putty in his arms.
The battle was over and Bruno had won, leaving a goddess fallen. You could hear a pin drop. Even Franco was momentarily speechless. I wanted to look away but I stood transfixed alongside everyone else. Guys were taking out their devices and photographing the moment for all posterity. Bruno grasped that Wonder Woman was now his. Lest anyone fail to recognize as much, he flung her up into a shoulder press and lifted her fully aloft, once again outstretching his arms above his head. His buddies in the cheap sheets could now see for themselves that his lofty prey was flopped out cold — eyes shut, hair bedraggled, back arched, limbs askew, costume shredded, chest heaving for the oxygen she’d been denied, ample bosom pressing against her brassiere and threatening to spill over it. While doing a slow twirl to display her that way, Bruno yelled the only words I’d hear from him: a primal, “YEAH, BABY!” It dawned on me that this was the moment of triumph for Franco’s “Ubermenschen,” who’d managed to fulfill a warped vision at the expense of our national treasure.
Once he’d shown off his trophy, Bruno’s complexion changed. He shifted his posture from constricting to cradling, gently lowering Wonder Woman’s unconscious figure so she could lie snugly in the thickness of his arms, He ceased playing the role of brutal antagonist. Instead, he looked like a caring husband cradling his bride as he walked her over the threshold. With newfound tenderness, he carried the humbled Wonder Woman towards Franco. At the end of his stroll, he carefully deposited her onto a rug in front of the broken table and directly in front of Franco, then strode away to applause from the cheering crowd. Wonder Woman now lay flat on her stomach, atop the cheap, dirty, polyester rug, with her beautiful face turned toward the side and her arms curled alongside. She might have been napping peacefully were it not for her labored breathing.
The thugs crowded around for more photos and exchanged giddy high-fives with one another. As for me, my spirit sank as I took stock. This was no longer Franco Bertinelli’s crazed pipe-dream — at Franco’s feet was the cold, brutal reality of Wonder Woman lying utterly spent, broken, vanquished. We all were entranced as she lay there on her stomach, splayed out in abject defeat. I couldn’t help but notice that her failed struggles against Bruno had left her blue briefs and shining stars wedged suggestively between her sculpted glutes, leaving precious little to the imagination. To my shame, I felt a stirring in my loins — and I didn’t dare imagine what the rest of this crowd was thinking as they eyed her exposed, defenseless, alluring rear. For all my faith in our superheroine, I sensed that she wasn’t coming back from this. Their plan had worked like a charm, and they had accomplished the unthinkable. My sole solace was knowing that this nightmare couldn’t last long for me; the stunning upset of Wonder Woman had presumably sealed my death warrant.
The photo session ended as Franco strode into the frame and stood over Wonder Woman’s helpless, unmoving form.
SEALED FILE CONTINUES . . . .