Inspiration for this custom idea came from the picture below, as well as the movie ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’.
Warning: This story has strong if not coarse language, suggestive situations and dialogue as well as violent content. For mature audiences only.
Aphrodite played by Kendra James
Diana Prince played by Christina Carter
Clark Kent played by Charles Dera
Chapter 1: “Express Yourself”
Somewhere on Mount Olympus, Aphrodite the goddess of love is dressed in a pink, sexy bikini outfit, sitting on a pillar in her private temple playing her golden lyre.
“It’s Peyton…it’s Peyton on Sunday morning,” Aphrodite sings and then begins snickering playfully.
“Ha, ha, ha. I just love these mortals and their modern day commercials. Such a trip.”
As Aphrodite continues playing her lyre, something causes her to freeze up and she looks upward at the temple ceiling as if she’s searching for something.
“What the…what is that?,” Aphrodite asks with curiosity.
Suddenly, an ear-piercing whistle tears through the room and Aphrodite drops her lyre and grabs the sides of her head as she cries out in pain. She gets up and begins staggering around the room clutching her skull with both hands as the whistling gets worst.
“Oh for the love of…NOT AGAIN!,” Aphrodite cries out in despair. She can suddenly hear two voices in her head arguing back and forth and the more they argue, the more the pain in her head gets worse.
“I don’t…I can’t believe those two! They’re going at each other’s throats again?,” Aphrodite wails with disbelief. She quickly stalks over to her throne, grabs her see-thru robe and throws it on.
“If I don’t get down there and stop those two they’re gonna end up coming to blows and caving each other’s skulls in!”
The goddess of love puts her hands on her hips and in a flash of light she teleports out of the temple.
Crossfade: Suburban Area of Metropolis
Married couple Clark Kent and Diana Prince (also known to the world as Superman and Wonder Woman) are in their civilian business attire, having just gotten back from couple’s counseling with Dr. Chase Meridian who was visiting Metropolis for a couple of months to help with a relationship seminar. Sadly, the counseling they got from her didn’t improve their marriage, instead it just made it worse and now the two are arguing back and forth like a cat & dog.
“I have never, nor have I ever been so humiliated in all my life!,” Diana thunders with fury.
“Well it’s your fault, Diana. You were the one who insisted that we go to the homewrecker seminar, I was against it,” Clark replies glumly. “And while we’re on the subject, you have been humiliated numerous times in your life…sexually that is.”
“Clark, whatever in Hera’s name possessed you to divulge information like that to complete strangers?!”
“Like you didn’t, Diana? Come on, how do you think I felt when you told them that I wound up being Poison Ivy’s personal bitch?”
The banter between the couple continues back and forth with neither Diana nor Clark willing to cave in but as they continue to argue, their words begin to get more hostile if not aggressive.
“I can’t believe I wasted six good months of my life with you Kal-El!,” Diana thunders. “Here I am, making Greek pasta salad, cooking brownies and for what?! A man who doesn’t appreciate me enough to do something simple like clean the dishes! A man whose not even a man ‘where it counts’ if you get my drift!”
Clark’s face turns bright red like a bing cherry with embarrassment and it was obvious at this point that Diana had touched a nerve. But he composes himself and straightens his dress shirt a little before he calmly ‘castrates’ Diana verbally.
“You wanna talk about business under the sheets, Wonder Woman?,” Clark continues casually as he attempts to remain calm. “With all the female villains’ in this town and in Gotham who have taken their turn at bat with you like the door knob that you are…”
Diana gasps with shock at this comment as Clark continues and his demeanor is getting heated as he speaks.
“…a man would probably need something preferably ‘battery operated’ to get a rise out of you in bed. And by the way…”
Clark goes over and picks up a plate of cold stale brownies that Diana had made earlier in the morning.
“…WHERE IN THE HELL DID YOU LEARN TO BAKE?!,” Clark thunders at the top of his lungs as he throws the plate of brownies at Diana as hard as he can. Diana dodges to the right as the plate shatters against the wall, smearing chocolate fudge on the wallpaper.
“How *dare* you speak to me that way you insolent Kryptonian pig!,” Diana retorts furiously. “I am Princess Diana! Daughter of…”
“Queen Hippolyta, ruler of Paradise Island, blah-blah-blah,” Clark growls. “Diana, I think I speak for everyone in the known universe when I say, nobody gives a *damn* who your mother is.”
“That’s it Kal-El, you’ve really crossed the line this time. I mean it’s bad enough that you don’t even support me in my work but now you have the nerve to insult my mother to my face? Dr. Meridian was right, you can’t do something simple as support your woman when she needs you!”
“First of all, you’re not very supportive yourself Diana and I know because Dr. Meridian said so. Where were you all the times when I was hurting and suffering? The answer is you were never there when I needed you. And the last time I checked, you were a grown woman who is more than capable of taking care of her own shit!”
It is here the gloves really begin to come off and Diana decides to try once again to hit Clark below the belt in a desperate attempt to ‘save’ face.
“You know Kal-El,” Diana begins as she takes off her glasses and sets them down on the table. “The last time I checked, you were married to me! So unless you wanna start fucking that shrink…”
Clark points a threatening finger at Diana, cutting her off and shouts, “Don’t Diana! Don’t you dare finish that sentence! Because I’ll have you know that when I was in my Superman persona, Dr. Meridian actually did offer herself to me when I rescued her from Two-Face’s henchmen after they abducted her for ransom! So I’ll tell you right now, *do not* tempt me with sleeping with that woman, because how you have me feeling right now…I just might do it!”
That response really rocked Diana’s world and hearing it come from Clark’s mouth, it felt like she had just been stabbed in the heart with a jagged sword. As the two continue to stare hard at each other, Diana can no longer hold back: with an Amazonian battle cry, she charges at Clark like a linebacker, picks him up M.M.A-style and drops him hard on the coffee table shattering it to pieces.
*Express Yourself (Moccean Worke Remix) begins to play in the background*
Diana is on top of Clark like a wolf on a T-Bone steak and with her hands wrapped around his throat no less as she attempts to choke the life out of him with the strength of a hundred Amazons.
“You red, white and blue cocksucker! I can’t believe you’d actually think about screwing another woman behind my back!,” Diana wails with fury.
Gasping for air, Clark places both feet against Diana’s cleavage and pushes her away with his super strength. Diana cries out as she goes flying across the room and hits the wall hard, leaving a dent in it, while Clark gets up and takes off his necktie and then tosses his glasses aside.
“Diana, don’t push it! You’re trying my patience,” Clark warns.
While on her knees, Diana takes off her high-heel pumps and looks up at him with a scornful smile.
“Oooh, sounds scary,” Diana replies mockingly. “Whatcha gonna do boy-scout? Tell Lois Lane to write a memo about it?”
“Watch it Diana. Don’t think that because you’re a woman and Hippolyta’s daughter that I won’t kick your Amazonian ass all over this house.”
Diana foolishly tries to put that threat to the test and she charges at Clark again and when she does, Clark shuts his eyes tight before opening them wide and Diana gets hit hard with a nasty blast of ‘heat-vision’ to her chest which sends her flying back again. However, Diana has more than enough fight in her and she charges with the speed of a jaguar and tackles Clark again. As the super-powered couple are wrestling around the house trying to subdue the other, the living room is getting totally ransacked: chairs are being overturned, furniture is being broken, expensive china is getting smashed and so forth.
During the fight, Clark gets Diana into a choke hold in an attempt to sleeper her out and Diana’s face turns red as she struggles to breathe.
“You had enough yet?!,” Clark thunders.
Diana answers that question by sinking her teeth into his arm and Clark cries out as he struggles not to let go but the pain of being bit was more than he could bear and he turns Diana loose. While Clark examines his arm, Diana throws a nasty front kick to his face and her pantyhosed toes hit him right in the mouth and he can actually taste Diana’s foot odor. Clark is momentarily stunned by the attack but when Diana tries to follow up with a nasty left hook, he ducks, picks her up and body slams her down on the floor. Diana retaliates by throwing a reverse round kick to his stomach, knocking him back. Popping up, Diana throws punch after kick at Clark who just blocks the blows and when he sees an opening, he backhands Diana across the face knocking her down again on her knees.
Holding her cheek and sobbing with despair, Diana looks up at Clark with hurtful eyes and says, “Kal-El, how could you?! I’M A WOMAN!”
Feeling guilty, Clark tries to approach Diana and begins to apologize but before he can finish his sentence, Diana strikes him in the groin as hard as she can. Clark doubles over in pain clutching his ‘jewels’ and Diana uses the opportunity to leap up and finish the job: with a knee strike to the face to stun Clark, she then leaps up with a scissor grab, locking her ultra-toned thighs around his neck and takes him down to the ground putting him in an arm bar hold so he can’t get free. Meanwhile, somewhere in the sky above, a pink orb of energy was racing down through Earth’s atmosphere like meteor straight toward the Metropolis area.
“Batman was right, you *really* are a boy scout,” Diana declares with triumph.
Clark still has one more trick up his sleeve though: bawling up his fist, he strikes Diana right in her pantyhosed cunt and Diana howls in pain, releasing her hold on him and Clark grabs his throat as he struggles to breathe and Diana is holding her vagina in pain. As the two stare hatefully at each other they each grab a piece of furniture and with angry battle cries, make one last attempt to charge at each other but before they can attack…
(Earth-shattering kaboom, song abruptly stops)
…the pink orb of energy that was soaring through the atmosphere had materialized through the roof and knocked the fighting couple back away from each other with the force of a ballistic missile.
“Alright you two, neutral corners!,” the pink orb commands.
As Diana and Clark compose themselves, they look at the orb of energy that then materializes into the form of Aphrodite. The goddess of love has her hands on her hips and she looks pissed.
(Tight on: Aphrodite, whose lips are pursed and her eyes are narrowed)
“Aphrodite! What are you doing here?,” Diana asks with surprise.
Aphrodite looks around the ransacked living room and replies, “Obviously getting here in the nick of time. Diana, Clark…I don’t know what’s going on with you two but from the looks of things, there is too much testosterone floating in this room and not enough loving going around.”
“What do you suggest we do about that?,” Clark asks as he rubs his chest.
For an answer, Aphrodite uses her telekinesis to make the overturned couch turn back onto its legs.
“Alright boys and girls…we’re gonna sit down…and we’re gonna have ourselves a little talk,” Aphrodite replies with a stern look on her face.
Cut to Black
To Be Continued…
*Express Yourself resumes playing over the end credits*