Intro:Madame & Madame: A Tribute.
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- Henchman
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i apologize for this[/b]
Last edited by Emperor(Adm.&Gen.)Omar Electo-Magneticus 9 months ago, edited 6 times in total.
- lordgriffin
- Sargeant
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Emperor:
I was surprised you wanted my feed back and review, thank you...here's what I see...
All three of your ideas are...well plausible... However the first one, Ebony Williams:
It's clear you like F/F my first question was, if only 1% are men, and used for reproduction, why woudl this powerful being need these 2 as slaves? Feels contrived. And if they are slaves..how do they become heroines? I think you should go with your passion for F/F but you cannot ignore males just because your passion is F/F
I honestly do not know what your suggesting with General Lucifina Kra, she is a plausible character to be sure, though I woudl be careful of descriptions as a "porn star" as Cliche'
Madame NucleoBlast nd Madame America are again cliche' I mean how much more (sorry to sat it) cheap erotica can you get with the huge knockers? Some moderation, make them believable....
I was surprised you wanted my feed back and review, thank you...here's what I see...
All three of your ideas are...well plausible... However the first one, Ebony Williams:
It's clear you like F/F my first question was, if only 1% are men, and used for reproduction, why woudl this powerful being need these 2 as slaves? Feels contrived. And if they are slaves..how do they become heroines? I think you should go with your passion for F/F but you cannot ignore males just because your passion is F/F
I honestly do not know what your suggesting with General Lucifina Kra, she is a plausible character to be sure, though I woudl be careful of descriptions as a "porn star" as Cliche'
Madame NucleoBlast nd Madame America are again cliche' I mean how much more (sorry to sat it) cheap erotica can you get with the huge knockers? Some moderation, make them believable....
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- Henchman
- Posts: 58
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Sir Lord,lordgriffin wrote:Emperor:
I was surprised you wanted my feed back and review, thank you...here's what I see...
All three of your ideas are...well plausible... However the first one, Ebony Williams:
It's clear you like F/F my first question was, if only 1% are men, and used for reproduction, why woudl this powerful being need these 2 as slaves? Feels contrived. And if they are slaves..how do they become heroines? I think you should go with your passion for F/F but you cannot ignore males just because your passion is F/F
I honestly do not know what your suggesting with General Lucifina Kra, she is a plausible character to be sure, though I woudl be careful of descriptions as a "porn star" as Cliche'
Madame NucleoBlast nd Madame America are again cliche' I mean how much more (sorry to sat it) cheap erotica can you get with the huge knockers? Some moderation, make them believable....
Thank you so very much for your constructive criticism. Just be mindful that this is a primer comic book story. Though I do have a passion for F/F, I am not actually ignoring the male population; it would destroy the reality. I am building up the story and the superheroines & villainesses in the comic story. Also, Gen. Kra and how she will create these two women into unintended superheroines;and give them their powers, will also be revealed. Again, this is only a primer. I have A LOT OF WORK TO DO WITH THE SINGLE SUPERHEROINE & SUPERVILLAINESS COMIC STORIES THAT I AM WRITING'; LOTS OF WORK; but I also have a life.
Thank you again
Emperor(Adm.)&(Gen.)Omar Electro-Magneticus.
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- Henchman
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Happy Belated Veterans Day to all who served; all branches and the Coast Guard; especially my fellow sailors and marines from my first ship that I served on.