An End to the Enhanceverse - A Journal
Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2021 7:21 am
I may be broadly spoiling some of the events of Enhancegirl and Valora here.
It took me three years and one week, almost exactly, but yesterday I finished "The Perils of Valora." This was a very different experience to writing Enhancegirl, because with Valora I knew, pretty much, where I wanted the story to go, and how it would eventually end. There were many revisions, dodges and alterations, but it basically went where I intended. Enhancegirl went every which way - I didn't even know that 16 would be the very last story until I finished 15, which seems absurd in retrospect.
When Enhancegirl ended, I have to say I felt a little like Sophie herself at the end of her: there was a great burst of applause, and I felt like the bee's knees. Writing her story - writing Sophie herself, and Mariko, and Natalya, and even Valerie as she appeared in PoEG - was relatively easy. It came naturally, and it was fun. Even in the darker and more intense moments, I could write her tales quickly, and self-entertainingly.
But Valora was different. It was, to put not too fine a point on it, a slog. Every chapter was difficult. Every paragraph was difficult. I strained to make Valerie likeable, while also being true to the vivid image I had of her: frowning, lip slightly curled; beautiful but also really quite ugly as well. I struggled to keep focus on what the story, especially the early parts, were really about. Was I saying something about the military-industrial complex? Was I saying something about superheroism being childish? Was I saying something about poverty? Was I saying something about America, even? We Englishmen have a funny relationship with America - it's like standing ten thousand miles away from someone, but you've got a telescope trained on them so that you can see every pore on their face. What did I have to say, then? Nothing.
Well, it was about Valerie, obviously. Then it was a little bit about Cecily, and an even littler bit about Maria, but it was much, much more of a one woman show than PoEG. So what, then, was it about, being about Valerie? The usual stuff. Self-improvement. Self-love. Self-actualization. All those things we give the characters we write, all those things we find intolerable when our heroes lack, but which are so laughably inaccessible to real people. I find myself thinking that if Valerie were a real person - that is, broadly physically and psychologically identical to the person I imagined when I started writing PoV 1 - she would not have done nearly so well for herself; nor, probably, so badly either. Superheroes need big successes and big failures - I don't consider it a flaw that I gave her so much pathos.
And then I think to myself, "DB, what the fuck are you talking about? You're a fetish writer on Deviantart. What do you mean 'what was it about'? It was about having a hot character getting imperilled and tied up and stuff. Why are you thinking so hard?" My answer being that I suppose I can't help it, that when you put so many thousands of hours into something, you want it to mean something. My other answer being that this is my principle creative outlet, and - god help me - the few things I've wanted to say that I haven't just said, loudly, to a room full of people whose patience is just about on the point of thinning, I've ended up saying in the work I've published here. I don't resent that my work is fetishy stuff, and I don't exactly denigrate it, either. Partly because I know that if it wasn't for that, nobody would be reading, and I wouldn't be writing. It's let me carve out a teensy-weensy tiny little niche for myself. For anyone who makes things and wants people to see them, a garage can be as good as a concert hall if the walls echo applause well enough.
But there is a tension, and I think it made me make some mistakes. I'm thinking principally here of Valora 3, which I know left some people with a bad taste in their mouth. I don't regret it as such - that is, I don't think Valora 3 was where the mistake was. I think the mistake was in me hoping that people would somehow be led along by the nose and accept everything, and respond to Valora the same way they responded to Enhancegirl. But how could they? It was different. Many people have been very kind in feedback and so on - a couple in particular have been immensely helpful and supportive. But I, in my vanity, wasn't altogether satisfied with how people have responded to Valora. I feared sometimes that she was shouting very loudly into a very open space. That her story would end in silence.
That is, until recently where I basically just got over myself. It was surprisingly easy. That happens sometimes, although I've never in my entire life heard anyone talk about it - that some problems and worries are dissolved very quickly, neatly, and easily. It really is possible. I suppose it's not very dramatic, though, so we don't tend to write about such things. God knows I don't.
So - to the main point, then. This is, more or less, the end of the Enhanceverse. There will no Valora 6 as there was no Enhancegirl 17. I may dive back in every once in a while for some quick little bit of fun - but there will never be another story like this one, not set in that world. No more full, long form stuff. And indeed, there won't be more long form stuff of any kind on this page, not for a while. Aegis will have her day, eventually, but not today. Not for a long time.
So thank you, readers. Thank you casual observers. This is an end, of a kind.
The Enhanceverse is closed. Take care.
It took me three years and one week, almost exactly, but yesterday I finished "The Perils of Valora." This was a very different experience to writing Enhancegirl, because with Valora I knew, pretty much, where I wanted the story to go, and how it would eventually end. There were many revisions, dodges and alterations, but it basically went where I intended. Enhancegirl went every which way - I didn't even know that 16 would be the very last story until I finished 15, which seems absurd in retrospect.
When Enhancegirl ended, I have to say I felt a little like Sophie herself at the end of her: there was a great burst of applause, and I felt like the bee's knees. Writing her story - writing Sophie herself, and Mariko, and Natalya, and even Valerie as she appeared in PoEG - was relatively easy. It came naturally, and it was fun. Even in the darker and more intense moments, I could write her tales quickly, and self-entertainingly.
But Valora was different. It was, to put not too fine a point on it, a slog. Every chapter was difficult. Every paragraph was difficult. I strained to make Valerie likeable, while also being true to the vivid image I had of her: frowning, lip slightly curled; beautiful but also really quite ugly as well. I struggled to keep focus on what the story, especially the early parts, were really about. Was I saying something about the military-industrial complex? Was I saying something about superheroism being childish? Was I saying something about poverty? Was I saying something about America, even? We Englishmen have a funny relationship with America - it's like standing ten thousand miles away from someone, but you've got a telescope trained on them so that you can see every pore on their face. What did I have to say, then? Nothing.
Well, it was about Valerie, obviously. Then it was a little bit about Cecily, and an even littler bit about Maria, but it was much, much more of a one woman show than PoEG. So what, then, was it about, being about Valerie? The usual stuff. Self-improvement. Self-love. Self-actualization. All those things we give the characters we write, all those things we find intolerable when our heroes lack, but which are so laughably inaccessible to real people. I find myself thinking that if Valerie were a real person - that is, broadly physically and psychologically identical to the person I imagined when I started writing PoV 1 - she would not have done nearly so well for herself; nor, probably, so badly either. Superheroes need big successes and big failures - I don't consider it a flaw that I gave her so much pathos.
And then I think to myself, "DB, what the fuck are you talking about? You're a fetish writer on Deviantart. What do you mean 'what was it about'? It was about having a hot character getting imperilled and tied up and stuff. Why are you thinking so hard?" My answer being that I suppose I can't help it, that when you put so many thousands of hours into something, you want it to mean something. My other answer being that this is my principle creative outlet, and - god help me - the few things I've wanted to say that I haven't just said, loudly, to a room full of people whose patience is just about on the point of thinning, I've ended up saying in the work I've published here. I don't resent that my work is fetishy stuff, and I don't exactly denigrate it, either. Partly because I know that if it wasn't for that, nobody would be reading, and I wouldn't be writing. It's let me carve out a teensy-weensy tiny little niche for myself. For anyone who makes things and wants people to see them, a garage can be as good as a concert hall if the walls echo applause well enough.
But there is a tension, and I think it made me make some mistakes. I'm thinking principally here of Valora 3, which I know left some people with a bad taste in their mouth. I don't regret it as such - that is, I don't think Valora 3 was where the mistake was. I think the mistake was in me hoping that people would somehow be led along by the nose and accept everything, and respond to Valora the same way they responded to Enhancegirl. But how could they? It was different. Many people have been very kind in feedback and so on - a couple in particular have been immensely helpful and supportive. But I, in my vanity, wasn't altogether satisfied with how people have responded to Valora. I feared sometimes that she was shouting very loudly into a very open space. That her story would end in silence.
That is, until recently where I basically just got over myself. It was surprisingly easy. That happens sometimes, although I've never in my entire life heard anyone talk about it - that some problems and worries are dissolved very quickly, neatly, and easily. It really is possible. I suppose it's not very dramatic, though, so we don't tend to write about such things. God knows I don't.
So - to the main point, then. This is, more or less, the end of the Enhanceverse. There will no Valora 6 as there was no Enhancegirl 17. I may dive back in every once in a while for some quick little bit of fun - but there will never be another story like this one, not set in that world. No more full, long form stuff. And indeed, there won't be more long form stuff of any kind on this page, not for a while. Aegis will have her day, eventually, but not today. Not for a long time.
So thank you, readers. Thank you casual observers. This is an end, of a kind.
The Enhanceverse is closed. Take care.