AllyCat McDildo & Karanga Cummings:The Post Kryptonian Apocalyptic New Sexscapades of SuperGirl In Not Metropolis

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FallOutDweller
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Pilot (edited after first post) or Sex in the Wrong City because British Columbia locations are less expensive.

The story begins with the origins of Karanga Zor-El, who is sent by her parents Alloola and Zor-El (who were not married by the way) from Krypton to Earth to watch over her cousin Kal-El, because even at the imminent end of the world the prices of any spaceship able to save the whole family were too expensive, blame the real state market bubble, but as she follows her baby cousin (because Earthling baby sitters have no space on their tiny budget either - Thanks O-bama and the damn affordable Red Sun Care), her ship is knocked off course into the Phantom Zone "????" :blink: by the explosion of Krypton (you will never see another market bubble burst like that) and crashed on Earth somehow where her cousin, now much older after 24 years, rescued Karanga from her Winniebago made for one passenger only and probably her virginity too (check DLC at C4S).

She is then taken to live with Eliza Cummings and Jeremiah Danvers Powers, the corny scientists who also never married whatsoever because we might add adopted parents sexual relations to incest too and shoe horned special guest stars who helped Kal-El come into his powers on Earth "????" :blink: (again, really ???) and become the hero known as Superman With Trunks (the sort of underwear, not the Dragon Ben Wa Balls Z character with the same name) because..... canon references.

Twelve years and some change later, Karanga Cummings Powers lives in "NOT METROPOLIS" and works as an assistant to AllyCat McDildo, the head of the mega-media conglomerate HitachiCo (check Google). Despite her mild mannered sex life, Karanga yearns to follow in her cousin's footsteps because writters are lazy. Her adopted sister "?" (really ???) Alex Powers, who stopped by her apartment to prepare for her flight to Geneva, thinks that Karanga should continue to remain a normal person like that was even possible considering the flirtatious environment provided by the kind of genderless oriented bathrooms demanded on contract by Calista Flockhart (seriously folks,pleeease get a room, glory holes are filthy for a very obvious reasons despite all water at your disposal).

After watching a news report on a plane that is about to crash probably because there are no superheroes available anywhere near locations in Vancouver and there are no such thing as Affordable Superhero Fucking Care in Canada (not your fault Obama) , Karanga realizes the plane is carrying Alex (oh the humanity). She flies to the rescue and saves the plane (mostly). As news spreads of her heroism (because there are no such thing as broadband internet on Canada), Karanga begins to wonder if she could become the hero her cousin is and still keep her sex toilet life and job around 9 to 5 daily basis. Alex, however, worries that Karanga has exposed herself to the world (considering "the world" as limited to British Columbia and related skyscraper venereal diseases).

The following day Karanga is excited about how fast she has become popular while maintaining her normal identity and underwear because a non attended epidemic of bad eye sight is just a minor healthcare inconvenience (again totally not blaming you for that Obama). She later reveals her secret to her co-worker Winslow "Winn" Pussy (because Schott is not obvious enough), who helps Karanga perfect her abilities by testing out uniforms, handling police calls, not being totally gay and neither profit from an bullet proof fabric of his own invention, and is dubbed "Supergirrrrl" by AllyCat, who despite objections by Karanga over the name, doesn't know about Karanga's secret and only sees her as just an assistant (again check those bathrooms for any venereal diseases lady, I guess pinky eye is the first sign), with Cat stating :

"What do you think is so bad about 'girrrl'? I'm a girrrrl and your boss and powerful and rich and hot and smart and sexy and healthy and sexually active in the bathroom at least twice a day with all sexual partners checked twice. So if you perceive Supergirrrrrl as anything less than excellent, isn't the real problem you and your poor fashion choices ? Pathetic Corporate Slave Punch Bag with no Breast or Cleveage on Sight Whatsoever who should really be concerned about your own ass, genital and lack of tits (add sarcastic laugh here and silent masochist moan there)".

The news of Supergirl's actions attract the attention of Bortox, an alien responsible for the attempted plane crash, and had been waiting for the moment to challenge a Post Apocalyptic Kryptonian survivor despite the fact Superman has been around in the past 12 years damn it, you must be some new kind of stupid, right ? He informs his commander that the plan worked (HOW ???? :huh: ).

During a night flight, Karanga is shot down by a tranquilizer containing Kryptonite and is brought in by Hank Henshaw, the head of the Department of Extra-Normal Operations and DLCs, a government agency of some sort (thanks Obama). It turns out that Alex works for DEO (don't you mean DENO ?) as well (how convenient), and alerted Hank that her adopted sister had finally coming into her powers with no discernible venereal diseases and vaginal warts so far (as she checked on a weekly basis).

Hank informs Karanga that when she landed on Earth, a ship containing the universe's worst criminals (most of whom were sentenced by her mother, Alloola) crash landed on Earth as well (why not ? is not like Earth didn't had already a lot of supervillains from her own to deal with). Karanga tries to convince Hank that she can actually help round up the criminals (for Christ sake girl, you can't even round up Callysta's cappuccino and she was not even in her bathroom), but Hank turns a deaf ear. The following day Bortox lures Karanga to an abandoned plant for their first battle, and wins his match due to plot convenience rather than any of his greater powers. When she is rescued by Alex after traditional post battle bondage/spank/rape scenes (get used to it folks), Karanga realizes she is not ready to die yet and upon learn how Alex got her job with DEO through Hank thanks to exposition instead of character development (there is no time for that, we are doing a pilot damn it, Wonder Woman could not afford that kind of luxury either and she get cancelled upon delivery) is revealed that all superheroine in peril scenes will be available only as DLC material on the internet (again, check C4S).

However, Alex later has a change of heart and convinces Karanga that she should follow her cousin's footsteps, and receives a message from Alloola to continue her mission on the grounds of plot convenience. Karanga and Alex returns to the DEO and informs Hank that she is ready to prove she can be a valuable asset by challenging Bortox once again before he uses his heat-generated ax of Doom to wreak havoc in Not Metropolis or most likely die trying after more Kryptonian Prison Style Rape (take notes).

In their rematch according to cliche, Karanga bests the fugitive alien with her blue heat vision (because red is for evil characters ) after her bondage/spanking/rape scene available only as DLC. Bortox then takes a sharp object forged from the heat vision and kills himself, but not before giving Karanga a warning that nobody ask for.

Her actions convince Hank that Supergirl, with help from Alex, can be useful to the DEO as a supervillains punch bag and Download Content Provider. The following day, James "Stunt Cock" Olsen a new african american photographer at HitachiCo who arrived from Real Metropolis after be adopted and kick out from the nest by the Olsen family, reveals to Karanga that he knows her secret identity (and that's not racist at all, is just a case of white people be really that stupid or not giving a fuck (maybe British Columbia should be named "French" after all). He actually worked with Superman/Clark Kent at "The Daily Planet" for five minutes — indeed, Superman sent him to Not Metropolis to watch over his cousin and reduce actual genital expenses for the "peril scenes". James passes on a gift: a cape made from Kal-El's baby wrappings with baby poop still in it (EEEEEEEwwwwwww).

Meanwhile, in another part of the universe (or Warner Brother's studios), the news of Bortox's death reaches his commander, revealed to be General Asstra, Alloola's identical budget conscious twin sister and Kara's aunt, who represents a different Kryptonian House with the letter "Oh" on her shield. Asstra has plans to take over the world (that's so original) and kill Karanga so she can make her niece pay for her mother's sins (like working for AllyCat McDildo was not punishment enough already, oh wait, she is a masochist, right ? Okay, forget it).

TO BE CONTINUED....and maybe edited in post production because money laundry is fun. :yahoo:
Last edited by FallOutDweller 8 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
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Laughed my head off through most of this.... a humorous stab at a show,but a show I like none the less.
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My current story is Supergirl V Bane


This is all the stuff I've done here but don't tell anyone about this!
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Don't get me wrong, please. I like this show too. Is my favorite comedy/musical show and I am really cheerleading for a 100 episodes plus syndication.

And you was the one who inspired Mr Cucumberbatch, there are no other Scotsman living in the Kingdom of Spain able to do that.
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Excellent satire. Funny and on point. Great job.
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Thanks Sir, I'm just warming up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgaRd4d8hOY

And next, something completely different.
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Pilot part 2 or The Unexpected Virtue of Sexual Streetwise Ignorance and Melee Strapons

Previously on Supergirl an Awkward Sort of Parody that for profit concerns sometimes involves sex and humiliation of women, by women and for women or rather the amusement of men in a totally not misogynistic way.... or so say we all.

Karanga Cummings Powers or Supergirl for short arrives in Not Metropolis 72 hours before the event portrait previously in the last episodes in a time slot best suitable for pervert adults, psychopaths and people from the internet like you that can be easily deceived into watching a show like this one (we do researches dude, we know our audience and we know where your scrolling down hand is really used for and that's odd because most of the girl use the same hand holding a Hitachi) and goes to AllyCatHitachiCo building usually known as Fux Plaza and formerly known as the Nakatomi Plaza for matter of stock footage convenience ( is not like we could explode the top of a different building every week) for a job interview.

AllyCat McDildo dismisses her because she has no bathroom experience (DLC available at C4S as usual if you are really into what can be mostly described as a Hallmark Experience) but when Karanga comes back with the story about the Jim Weathers theater being torn down that Ally didn't believed she hires her as a personal slave and doormat.

In the meantime, Ally wants to uncover a possible conspiracy behind a space ship launch that might blow-up and gives the story for Karanga only if she prove to be able to handle a pair of vicious ben wa balls up her unsuspected vagina of steel. Karanga does not want to but not having a choice, she accepts to humiliate herself. The two of them try to talk to Dr. Samantha Flatt (special guest star and stock footage corpse Nina Hartley) but before they gather information, Flatt is murdered and the murderer makes it look like a suicide.

Ally and Karanga also try to reach Dr. Antoinette Buttercheeks (special guest villain and stock footage pretty face Darling ) but she claims that Dr. Flatt is not to be trusted and that there is nothing wrong with the space ship now that she is dead. It is later revealed that Dr. Buttercheeks works with Lex Luthor and they want to sabotage the launch in their benefit somehow (evil geniuses, :hmm: not exactly eager capitalists seeking profits). Ally does not believe what Dr. Buttercheeks told them and she goes back later to check on her own along with Karanga now keeping a huge butt plug in because "Why Not ? She want that job, doesn't she ?".

Dr. Buttercheeks captures and ties them up and makes a bondage scene while nobody comes searching for them (we welcome you for your audience :yes: ). Karanga wants to use her powers to save them but she cannot do it and Dr. Buttercheeks humiliates them even further in ways only available thanks to the magic of custom video on demand. Dr. Buttercheeks sets up an accident where the two of them will be killed but Karanga releases herself and saves Ally. When they get out they witness Dr. Buttercheeks' helicopter exploding killing her, while it is revealed that Lex Luthor is the one who trapped the helicopter.

After Dr. Buttercheeks' death, everyone believes that the space ship is safe and they get ready to launch. Ally sneaks inside the ship while Karanga visits her parents frustrated that she cannot use her powers to help others when her clitoris, pussy, ass and mouth are busy despite not figured out yet that this event usually happen too often in a 45 to 50 minutes tv show (again, you are welcome for your audience :yes: ) . She asks Eliza to make her a costume so she will be able to be herself and for people to not recognize her without using anything to cover her face in anyway shape or form but none of the costumes are suitable for primetime tv or even Hallmark most lowest sexual exploitation standards for cheap underwear.

Karanga, Eliza and Jeremiah watch live the launch but when they see that something is wrong, Karanga flies back to Not Metropolis to help. She arrives not as Supergirl yet and finds Ally inside the ship trying to disarm a bomb because "How hard that can be ?". She takes the bomb and swallows it in from of a shocked Ally. After that, she helps with the ship launch and makes the news where everyone calls her the "Flying Barbie" but the name don't catch because Mattel does not support Superheroine In Peril media.

Ally is excited with "that skunk swallower in hooker boots while Karanga goes to Lex Luthor's office to let him know that she knows who he really is and that he was behind everything. She vows to see Luthor face justice one day, while the receptionist ask her to leave because Luthor is busy far far away in Japan and has absolutely no knowledge about whatever that crazy bitch is saying.

The End..... or so some sponsors wished, we are not really giving up yet. ;)
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