Great story so far, Batmad, and indeed I do praise Nicklaos for the art - that Fly Huntress looks delicious and perfect from every angle, so sexy that I don't even mind the 'mental illness' haircut.
It just takes me back to a time in the 80s when female characters were all depicted as attractive even when they had the short shaved hair (e.g. punk Storm). Back then, it just signified kind of a general countercultural rebelliousness.
But I have one complaint - we don't see what the intern is doing between panels 3 and 8. Seems like she is totally ignored and is able to step out into the 'hallway' and leisurely make the change. In fact, at the time she is 'dismissed', she doesn't even know that the Fly Huntress has arrived, so she's not doing it out of a response to danger. I would therefore assume her motivation to change into the Snowflake is simply to reveal herself to the Detective as a superheroine who wants to help the cause.
But how does she feel about changing from a 'nonentity' to the very attractive Snowflake, and what happens out there? In EP 1 we do see her change, but it's from a depersonalized angle with just leg and ass shots. And while those are gorgeous, this time we could see her expression, and more of her upper body. Plenty of time passes to find that out.
I don't know if you want to add this to the script, but it's not too late: there could be a page of panels where we see how she transforms into the Snowflake, gradually removing her dowdy black dress and exposing her heroine outfit, slipping on those gloves and zipping up those thigh-high boots. We know she has the penchant to "moan with pleasure", because she did so when making out with Miss Britain/Penelope.
She could even express how she feels to become the Snowflake as she pulls the fabric snugly over her body: "Uhhhhh...They think I'm just a nobody, but I feel so sexy in this tight costume and these amazing boots...that's why I like to wear it so much, and I relish the opportunity to become my confident self. Ohhhh....I really want to give myself a nice stimulating rubdown over these sheer tights, but there just isn't time. I need to get in there and show my powerful alter-ego to that sassy Neva de Bout!"
And then, maybe there could be one final panel as she peeks around the corner and realizes that Fly Huntress has arrived. "Oh no! A supervillainess in a tight and shiny spider-costume! That has danger written all over it. Got to save the detective from a fate worse than death!"
Or..this could all just remain fan fiction. Keep up the good work!
