Catwoman's Permanent Retirement (on-line)

[flamboyfun]

When an ordinary security guard inadvertanely spoils a big score for Catwoman (big enough for her to retire), she decides to teach the meddler a lesson and put him in his place... but the feline fatale soon discovers that the guard is anything but "ordinary."

This one goes out to superpics4les as I was going to retire from this genre but he inspired me to do one more story. Enjoy!

Catwoman’s Permanent Retirement

By

Flamingo Boy
([email protected])

To read the whole story visit
http://flamingoboyfun.angelfire.com/cwr.html

Part 1

It was about ten o’clock and the last of the night class students had filtered out of the junior college over an hour ago. The only other folks on campus right now were maintenance, security (yours truly included), and a few instructors that had stayed after class for paper work or to confer with students.

I was making my last rounds checking out all the rest rooms to make sure that they were empty and that there were no stragglers. Unlike my fellow guards who are fat and lazy (and overall general pains in the ass), I actually took the extra thirty seconds to open all the stall doors to make sure that no one was trying to hid from me by standing on top of the toilet seat.

I was about ready to go punch out for the evening and go home to a warm bed when my boss, Jim, calls me on the walkie-talkie.

“What’s up, Jim?” I say.

“Hey, Frank,” says Jim (he’s a real nice guy). “Sorry to bother you on your way out, but can you escort one more instructor to her car? After that, you can go home. I’ll lock up. She’s in front of the library. Her name is Miss Kyle.”

“10-4,” I answer. “Have a good one, Jim.”

“Oh… almost… forgot… all the guys are getting together at my place for the fight on Saturday. Are you in?”

“Absolutely. What can I bring?”

“Nothing… just yourself. Good night, Frank.”

“Good night, Jim.”


It didn’t take long to walk to library and spot the very attractive lady in her late twenties/early thirties. Even with her hair pulled back in a pony-tail and wearing a pair of glasses, she still looked hot.

“Ms. Kyle?” I said.

At first, she didn’t respond… but then she suddenly woke up. “Oh… yes… that’s me. I’m Miss Kyle… actually my name is Selina. Please forgive my brain-fart. I’m not use to be called by my last name. Everywhere else where I’ve worked is pretty informal when it comes to names.” Then she started laughing. “I’m so sorry. I must sound like a total scatterbrain. I just started working here a few days ago and I’m still a little nervous and overwhelmed. I hate being a new person.”

“I know what you mean, Ms. Kyle… excuse me… Selina. I just started working here a few weeks ago myself.” I offered her my hand. “My name is Frank. Frank Cas… sell… o… sello… Cassello. Frank Cassello. Welcome to the campus.”

I couldn’t believe it! I couldn’t get the right name out! No woman has ever had an effect on me like that before.

“Thank you,” she smiled with a row of perfect white teeth and shoke my hand in her dainty female way. “I’m so sorry to trouble you so late in the evening. I got so caught up in my work that I lost track of the time.”

“That’s quite all right,” I answered as I bent down to pick up the box up books that she’s standing in front of before she can do the same.

“You don’t have to do that. I just wanted an escort. I didn’t expect you to schlep this heavy box for me.”

“I know you didn’t. Where’s your car.” If this doesn’t score me major brownie points, then I don’t know what will.

“Just on the other side of this lot… over there.” She pointed to a pack of cars and expected me to distinguish which one was hers.


We didn’t even take a dozen steps before Ms. Kyle… I mean… Selina… shows that she’s something of a “Chatty Cathy.”

“I hope I’m not keeping you from anything,” she said. “I really hate to bother you but I’m a little scared to walk in this dark parking lot alone.”

“No bother at all. It’s part of the job.”

“Well… I know that this is a very safe campus… but is it really true that a girl got raped in this very lot.”

“She never got raped,” I corrected her. “It was a simple mugging that turned into an attempted sexual assault. It never got that far. They were a bunch of junkies looking for some easy cash to pay for their fix… but it got out of hand. As she was being chased, I heard her scream for help and I was able to get to her in time.”

“That’s right,” Selina tried to cover her embarrassment. “She didn’t get raped. What was I thinking? Now I remember. She was saved by a security guard… and you’re the brave man that rescued her. Wow! It’s an honor to meet a hero.”

“I’m no hero,” I said with true humbleness. “I was just in the right place at the right time to assist the poor young girl. If anyone is a hero… it’s her. She saved herself. She did all the right things.”

“What things were those?” Selina said with genuine interest. “I’d like to know… in case… God forbid… I’m ever in a similar situation.”

“When the three punks accosted her in the lot, she asked what they wanted. She was smart enough to give her money rather than fight back. The problem was that they wanted her money and they wanted her to get in their vehicle with them. She was smart enough to realize that if the got her to a second location, they could rape and or kill her more easily… and take their time doing it. She figured that if she was going to make a move, she should do it in the lot where her chances would be better. Always remember, Selina, never allow anyone to take you to a second location.”

“How did she get away, Frank?”

“The girl figured that, overall, they were more interested in her money, so instead of allowing herself to get close and hand them her purse, she throws her purse of to the side about ten feet away from her. When they are distracted going for her purse, she knows she has enough of a head start and she makes a break for it. Remember, Selina, never hand anything over… always toss it to the side so you can get away.”

“I never thought of that,” Selina seemed relieved. “I wouldn’t care if they got my money… so long as it meant that I got to stay alive and didn’t get raped… but then again… isn’t running away dangerous, too? What if one of those men had a gun? She could have taken one in the back.”

“But a moving target is much harder to hit than a stationary target,” I replied. “And the punk would have to take an unaimed shot as well. Even taking that extra second or two to aim would put another ten to twenty foot distance between target… and the further away you are… the harder you are to hit. She was also smart enough to run in a zigzag pattern. Then she started to scream her head off. When I heard the screams I was able to get a fix on her location.”

“That’s one pretty smart girl. We could all learn from her.”

“That’s right. If I were in her situation, I would have done the exact same thing.”

“No way,” Selina said in disbelief. “I can see why a helpless little girl would run away, but you are over six feet tall and weigh two hundred pounds. You would wipe the floor with those punks. As a matter of fact… now that my brain-fart is clearing… and I’m starting to remember the correct facts… you did exactly that… fought them… you put one of those punks in the hospital. You punched him in the face so hard that his nose was sticking out the other side of his head.”

“I only fought the punk because I had to. Apparently, one of the punks wanted more than just the girl’s money. He was so coked up that he ran after her… even though he had no chance to overtake her. By the time she got to me, he was still charging at us. He pulled out a knife and still came after us. I had no choice but to defend myself. Trust me, Selina. If three punks came up to me and said give me your money, my wallet would be tossed to the side if a heartbeat. It’s not worth risking my life for a few bucks. Now if they said we’re gonna kill you… well then… all bets are off. I’m like a cat. I’ll flee if I can… and only fight if I’m attacked or cornered.”

“And speaking of cats,” Selina looked around nervously as we reached her car. “I heard that the notorious Catwoman was spotted in this area a few days ago. Is that true… or do I have my facts all wrong like before?”

Now it was my turn to get nervous. I placed the box of books down next to her car. “It-it is true… but how did you learn
that?”

Part 2

“This afternoon… during my lunch break. One of your co-workers… Joe… he came to my table and introduced himself. We got to talking… and he let it slip that a security guard on this campus spotted Catwoman prowling around on campus.”

“No… not on campus. That Joey can’t get his fact straight… I said… shit!” Then I realized that I slipped. “Damn… that Joey. He’s got a big mouth. I should have known that he couldn’t keep a secret.”

“Then you’re the one who saw her,” she grew more nervous. “Please tell me if that’s true, Frank. I can see an isolated incident with some unorganized punks but I don’t think I want to work here if I have to worry about being robbed by the likes of that horrible Catwoman.”

“You don’t have to worry about her, Selina. Catwoman would never resort to petty crimes like mugging. She’s a highly sophisticated thief and burglar. She won’t involve herself in anything unless she scores, at least, six figures… but… in the extremely unlikely event that you do run into her… just give her whatever she wants… and she won’t hurt you. Unlike psychos like the Joker and the Penguin, she doesn’t kill people… but she will beat the crap out of you if you don’t comply with her demands.”

“I guess that’s somewhat reassuring, Frank… but if she is some sort of upper-echelon master criminal… what does she want from this junior college campus? There’s nothing here worth stealing that would warrant her attention… is there?”

“That stupid, Joey,” I mutter. “I never told him that I saw her on campus… look Selina… since the cat’s already out of the bag… no pun intended… I might as well tell you the correct facts. But this can go no further… understand?”

“Cross my heart,” she made an imaginary x over her chest.

I took a deep breathe. “I’m only telling you this because… well… I know that you wouldn’t purposely tell anyone else… but if you should accidentally let it slip out… like Joey and I just did… at least you have the correct info and it won’t come to bite you on the ass later.”

“Look, Frank,” she touched my shoulder and it got me a little excited. “I know that we just met… and your first impression of me is of someone that likes to talk a lot… but trust me… I may have a big mouth… but I do know how to keep a secret.”

“Okay,” I looked around making sure that we would not be overheard. “I’m not telling you this to try to scare you… it’s not really a big deal at all… but it could be if Catwoman someone got wind of this… and it wouldn’t be good for me if she got the wrong information. Understand?”

“Of course.”

I pointed to the mall across the street. “Catwoman is going to hit the jewelry store in that shopping center in the next few days.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“A few days ago, I decided to go that mall after work. I normally go straight home… but I had this incredible craving for a double-chocolate donut… so I decided to swing by the twenty-four hour Dunkin’ Donuts. Of all the days I picked to stray from the norm… Anyway... the donuts were only a couple of bucks but all I had on me was a twenty… so I had a wad of bills in my hand coming out of the shop.”

“When I tried to put my money in my front pocket, the wind blew a ten dollar bill out of my hand… so like an idiot, I started to chase it around. It was like a scene from a cartoon, just when I’m about to grab my bill, the wind blows it out of my reach. The next thing I know, I’m blocks away and in a dark alley behind the jewelry store.”

“I finally caught my sawbuck… and I when I looked up… I spotted something… or rather… someone… on the roof of the building of the jewelry store.”

“And that someone was… Catwoman?” Selina replied.

“In the flesh… my god… I couldn’t believe my eyes… she was even more gorgeous than I ever imagined… and it didn’t hurt that she wore that tight cat suit… what a totally awesome body.”

“Well,” Selina tried to conceal her embarrassment over my last crass and crude remark. “At least you like girls.”

“Sorry.” If I didn’t know any better. She seemed more jealous than upset.

“Then what happened?”

“Obviously, this was her next big score and I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate any potential witnesses… so my first instinct was to high-tail it out of there before she spotted me. Of course… being a big-footed clutz… I kicked a beer can and she hears it. I managed to duck behind a dumpster just as he hops off the building and into the alley… and she lands as smooth and gracefully like… well… a cat.”

“She pulls out her whip and it makes a loud crack against the pavement. It’s totally obvious that it’s not just for show. She knows how to use that thing. I bet she could flick a fly off a man’s shoulder at ten paces without even touching his skin.”

“Then she says, I know someone’s here. If you come out now, I promise not to hurt you… otherwise…” Then she cracks her whip and shatters a beer bottle that was sitting on top of a dumpster… the very same one that I’m hiding behind.”

“My goodness,” Selina grasped. “What did you do?”

“I complied with her demand. I stood up. Then she tells me to step out of the shadow so she could get a better look at me…but just before I was about to reveal myself, a cop car drives by and flashes a light in the alley and demands to know who there. Of course, Catwoman manages to leap away before she gets spotted leaving me to explain to the cops what I’m doing… but of course… after I tell them that I was chasing after my money… and seeing that I’m in the same type of biz that they are in… they just tell me to go home and stay out of alleys. I’ll never forget Catwoman’s words that she muttered as she scrambled away… Interfering prick! I’ll teach you for spoiling my heist.”

“No harm done,” Selina rubbed her chin. “You managed to spook her off and prevent a burglary… and she doesn’t know what you look like.”

“Spooked her off? My ass!” I answered. “I didn’t spook her off… I pissed her off. She gave me the dirtiest look as she disappeared into the night. “I didn’t prevent anything. I only delayed her little score. She’ll be back to hit it again when she realizes that no report was made on her.”

“You never told the police that you saw Catwoman?” Selina said in disbelief. “Why not?”

“Would they have believed me? And even if they did… what could they do about it? She had already disappeared like a fart in the wind and… technically… no crime was committed.”

“But if you think she’ll hit the place again, the jewelry store could take precautions or set up a trap for her. You could get a reward for her capture.”

“Right,” I laughed. “When a pro like Catwoman sets her mind on stealing something she always gets the job done. There is no security system that she can’t bypass. There’s no trap that she can’t escape from. No one’s been able to catch her… not even Batman… and he’s an elite crimefighter and master detective. He’s managed to catch guys like the Joker and the Riddler… and sure they were able to escape from the prisons and nut-houses that they were in… but Batman has captured them… but never Catwoman. That’s why I’m keeping my mouth shut. I don’t want to get on her shit list by being the guy that fingered her.”

“You really think that she would come after you?” Selina said with genuine concern. “I thought you just told me that she doesn’t kill people.”

“She doesn’t kill but she’ll want to beat the crap out of me and humiliate me for spoiling her little job. She does that from time to time to get the message across that no one should cross her… and I’m just the dope to be made an example of.”

“There you go again,” Selina laughed. “I can see why you would be hesitant to take on three punks at once… but you’re trying to tell me that you’re afraid to fight Catwoman? A big guy like you? Come on! You got about five inches on her and about eighty pounds… and she’s just a girl.”

“There’s nothing only being a girl about her, Selina. She’s an accomplished fighter… very fast and agile. She’s even fought Batman to a standstill… and… like… that caped badass has mastered every form of martial arts that’s known to man. If he can’t take her down, then what chance to I have? I did my homework on her. From time to time, a few security guards have ignored calling for backup because they think that they can take her down by themselves and end up getting their asses kicked. One jerk tried to rape her, but she ended up stripping him down and rapping him instead. Don’t get me wrong… the jerk had it coming… but how demoralizing and humiliating. At the risk of sounding sexist, the worst blow to the male ego is when a man is physically overpowered and beaten up by a woman… especially when it’s a big guy like me. I want no part of her. I not afraid of her… perhaps weary of her is a better word. As far as I’m concerned, she can do whatever the hell she wants… so long as I’m not involved. At times, cats are playful… but they can scratch and bite.”

“But, Frank, you can’t spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder to see if Catwoman is going to strike.”

“Who said the rest of my life? I only need to watch my back for a few days.”

“How’s that?”

“All I have to do is wait until Catwoman hits the jewelry store. She’ll have her score without complications and be happy… she’ll forget about me… and the insurance company pays off the jewelry store. Everybody wins.”

“I see your point, Frank. I’m sorry if I referred to you as being a coward. I guess… in this case… discretion is the better part of valor.” Then Selina folded her arms and gave me a wicked, but teasing smile. “You know… the way you talked about Catwoman… I think you have a bit of a crush on her… you’re attracted to her. Come on! Admit it.”

“I admit that I respect her… not for being a thief, mind you… I guess it’s her intelligence that attracts me….”

“Bullshit,” Selina folded her arms. “And the fact that she’s drop-dead gorgeous and has a body to die for has nothing to do with it I suppose?”

“Okay,” I tried not to blush. “Maybe those things, too… but I truly admire Catwoman for her intelligence… it near genius.”

“Why only near genius. Why not genius… period? Is it because only men like the Joker and the Mad Hatter can be geniuses?”

“Catwoman is smarter than any other costumed villain that has plagued Gotham City. She is in a class by herself and I’m sure that if she were here, she would be insulted to be included in that group. The Joker and his kind are psychos. Catwoman is the most normal villain of them all. The thing that strays her from the norm is that she dresses in a cat outfit and has an affinity to her fellow felines. Other than that, she is a total seasoned professional in her craft. Also… the Joker and his kind are also compulsive… they want to get caught. They want attention. They want publicity. Unlike Catwoman, all their crimes have to revolve around a theme. They purposely leave clues behind hoping that they can pull off the crime as well as make Batman and the police look foolish.”

“Catwoman simply breaks in, takes what she wants, and gets out. She doesn’t care… or want… people to know that it was her that committed the ingenious crime. She’s smart enough to realize that she’d rather avoid clashing with the police or Batman. It’s all a business to her. She keeps everything quite… probably putting her cash away in untouchable bank accounts or investing it wisely… so that she’ll have a humongous nest egg when she finally retires.”

“In my opinion, Catwoman is the perfect criminal. She’s never got caught… ever.”

“And if that’s true,” said Selina. “And like I said before… How is she only near-genius?”

“She’s only near-genius in the fact that if she bothered to use all her intelligence and determination for legitimate gain, we’d probably all be working for her. She could make Donald Trump look like a penny-ante operator… if only… she weren’t so… lazy… looking for the fast and easy way. It’s a shame in a way.”

“Lazy?” Selina seemed perplexed. “I’ve heard many adjectives to describe Catwoman but lazy was never one of them.”

“Holy shit!” I looked at my watch. “It’s 10:30 already. I’ve been bending your ear for a half hour? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you.”

“That’s okay. I appreciate the safety tips… and your assessment of Catwoman was quite… interesting.”

“Just rambling. What the hell do I know, I’m just a fifteen-dollar-an-hour rent-a-cop. Is there anything else that I can help you with?”

“Would you be so kind as to put the box in here?” Selina used her keys to open her trunk.

“Wow!” I said as looked inside the empty truck. “What a huge truck. You could transport a dead body in here.”

“Actually, more like an unconscious body,” said Selina as her pulled out a small vial of hair spray. “By the way, Frank… Meow!”

“I don’t think that’s funny, Selina,” I turned around.

“And neither is calling me lazy,” Selina fired back. “It took three days of playing the damsel in distress and having two other pathetic guards trying to impress me with their macho-crap before I found the right one.”

“Huh?” Then I put two and two together. “Holy shit! You’re Catwoman!”

Before I could take off, she pumps a blast of hair spray in my face… only it’s not hair spray.


As my legs get weak and I start to black out, Selina has already effortless thrown me into the truck and slammed the lid down.

Just before I totally lose consciousness, I can hear her sing “Oh, my sweet prince… at last, I’ve found you.”


To read the rest of the story visit
http://flamingoboyfun.angelfire.com/cwr.html

[superpics4les]

Absolutely marvelous! =D> =D> =D> Very well done! I know that the only reason that our hero was able to tame the cat was because she was ready and he was WELL prepared, but it was a wonderfully crafted story nonetheless! If this is your last story in this genre, I for one will miss your talent. I hope that whatever you find to replace it, brings you happiness! I also hope you'll still stop by from time to time and give us the benefit of your comments on the forum!

Au Revoir and Magnifique!

Pics 8)